Rating: 
Summary: I was disappointed
Review: While the author raises some valid points about the benefits of helping our children understand adoption early on, many of the issues raised seem related more to adolescence than to adoption specifically. (...) If you are expecting a handbook of the top 20 topics adopted children want to discuss, based on research and interviews, you will be disappointed, too.
Rating: 
Summary: Very pratical, insightful and informative
Review: I have used this book with our Adoption Support Group and for me personally. I am an adult, adopted as a baby. This book is excellent for anyone touched by adoption. It gives the adopted child's perspecitve on being adopted. There are the known and unknown issues adopted children face and this Book is excellent to dig into those areas and to help bring healing. Also excellent for the adopted parent to understand their adopted child. This Book also offers very practical advice to reach your adopted child's heart and help them become all they can be. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone that has been touched by adoption. It is excellent!
Rating:
Summary: Wonderful Book!
Review: I am an adoptee and have been reunited with my birthmom for almost 3 years now. I go to meetings called Adoption Healing, and have read sooo many books from the Adoption Healing library. I bought this book, because the title just caught my eye. There are a ton of things that I had always wished I could tell my adoptive parents, but for some reason or another, I just couldn't. Sherrie's book was wonderful! It was written in plain english. I felt as if I were sitting there listening to a good friend talk to me, and it was all so true. After reading this, I gave it to the Adoption Healing Library. It has helped, not only adoptees, but adoptive parents also. A few of them from my meeting had read this, and they said it gave them a new perspective on their adopted children and why they wanted to search for their birthparents. I definately suggest reading it!
Rating:
Summary: Great for People Just Starting Adoption Process
Review: We bought this book to read before our homestudy and found it to be an awesome place to start discussions on our intent, values, plans, etc. Very great book. We also really liked our adoption journal, Waiting for You, by Kirsten Davis, ISBN 0972394206. We got it on Amazon.com also. It gave us a place to process our thoughts and feelings brought up in this book. Enjoy and God Bless!
Rating: 
Summary: Paints a very negative view of adoption
Review: Before we adopted our son, I picked this book up in my quest for information on adoption. I was curious about all parts of the traid, especially the adopted child's perspective. I found this book to be very negative in portraying adoption. I read some of it to friends who had been adopted at birth and they thought it was pretty far fetched and extreme. It sounded as if the author had a not-so-good experience growing up adopted, and believes that all adopted children will have the same experience. I agree with the other review that many of the problems and issues she described from her own childhood I had in mine and I was not adopted. She doesn't seen to be very positive about adoption and that certainly comes through in the book. I actually felt bad when reading the book -- bad that I would put a child through the hurt and sadness that her book portrays. Again, in talking to adult adoptees, I was told the book was not an accurate description of their experience at all... It sounds as if the author's seemingly negative adoptive experience was unique and not the norm.
Rating: 
Summary: Loss, loss, and loss again
Review: It seemed like every chapter was dealing with loss. Yes, adoptees feel loss, but what about the other feelings? I think this book is directed more at older adoptees who were adopted under the closed system when parents were encouraged to keep everything secret. My son, who's known since day one that he's adopted, says he doesn't have those feelings. He watches the celebration of our receiving him at 3 months of age and sees the joy and elation that we all felt. He doesn't remember anything about his birthmother or the feeling of rejection. His feeling is "I have three moms: a birthmom, a foster mom, and a real mom." I did like the end of the book which states that changing the real diapers, wiping the real tears, and sitting up through the real nights are what makes a real mom. Unless you are an adoptive parent who kept your child's adoption a secret, this book really doesn't offer much insight. I know from watching female adoptees where I teach that girls do have more problems with adoption than boys. Girls are more likely to have the feelings of loss and rejection. Boys are much more likely to accept and enjoy the life they have and not seek a "fantasy" birth family. I hope that the education and information provided to adoptive parents now prevent them from making the mistake of keeping adoption in the closet. This book emphasizes the need for open and honest discussion. I agree with that. Yet, I think the message could be delivered in a more direct, less repetitive format.
Rating:
Summary: good for anyone who needs to understand this child/adult....
Review: i (birthmother) got this book to understand what my daughter needed from the time of inutero and on..and didn't get because of the lack of understanding prevalent in the adoption arena around the 1960's...i feel everyone in the adoption triad needs to read this insightful..realistic info....even the now adoptive adult who may not (and i emphasize..'may not') understand what they needed and still need now..as adults..that they weren't able to get from their birth/adoptive parents in the past...it will help them to 'parent' themselves..so to speak...because..we all have 'unfinished' parenting that we still need in order to keep growing up as healthy and happy adults who can have open..honest and meaningful relationships with others...and i know from having a close relationship with my own daughter since march of 2001..that adoptive children/adults have special needs in this area which..i feel..are made very clear in this book.....!
Rating:
Summary: Good, As Far As It Goes
Review: Eldridge's book was fine as far as it went. As a prospective adoptive parent, I sure would have liked to have more balance in the book. Not all of my adopted friends experienced the extremes Eldgridge points to here. This book is a good starting place for those interested in adopting a baby, but not for anyone looking to adopt an older child.
Rating:
Summary: Connecting to the Heart of the Adoption World
Review: Twenty Things" is an outstanding book! As an older child adoptee, I can directly relate to most of what is in the book. Especially, experiencing the pain of loss, rejection, and as a result dealing with anger. The research is amazingly expansive and draws from the best of adoption literature and related resources. Sherrie Eldridge not only writes from the perspective of an adoptee, but also with the heart of a mother and grandmother.
Rating:
Summary: Wish this was around in 1980!
Review: This book is excellent. It focuses on the hidden emotions adoptee's have. As an adoptee, I could personally relate to each section. I wish this would've been around when I was adopted so that my adoptive parents would've had some insight.
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