Rating: 
Summary: Helped put words to my feelings as an adoptee
Review: This was one of the first books I ever read written by an adoptee for other adoptees, and I go back to it again and again. I have read most of the other reviews, and truly understand the emotions expressed. As an adoptee, this book helped me understand what I was feeling (not fitting in with my adoptive family even though they loved me, always feeling like I was searching for something, etc.) and helped me start to express those feelings to others in ways they could understand. I understand how this book could be offensive to some, and could seem like it is looking for problems where none may exist, but if you will read it with an open mind, willing to learn even if you don't like what you read, I think you will find it informative and helpful. It may help you see issues that are there but are being hidden because the feelings are so strong and scary! Wonderful job,Sherrie!
Rating:
Summary: Twenty Things Adopted Kids wish their adoptive parents knew
Review: One of the best books I have ever read on adoption issues such as loss and grieving. Written in a moving and powerful way yet sensitively enough that you can keep going and begin to accept these painful realities of your child's experience. I liked it so much I recommended it to all my fellow adoptive parents.
Rating: 
Summary: Keep What's Worth Keeping
Review: One of my all-time favorite quotes in life is: "Keep what's worth keeping and, with the breathe of kindness, blow the rest away." As I read the other's reviews, I was reminded of this axiom. In my opinion, Sherrie's book contains much that is worth keeping. As an adoptee, I too am not certain that I would "adopt" in whole all of the suggestions Sherrie offers for addressing potential problems in the life of an adopted child. But I think she does an excellent job of raising awareness of the issues that might lie underneath the surface of seemingly well-adjusted children. This is insight that I would value as an adoptive parent. I encountered Sherrie's book when I was an adult struggling with a number of adoption-related issues and found it to be a very helpful resource. Though I could not relate to all the conflicts mentioned, Sherrie's book helped give voice to much that I had struggled with and was particularly helpful in forging a bridge between my adoptive father and me. One of the sweetest conversations my Dad and I ever shared followed shortly after him completing Sherrie's book. He paged me at work to say, "Lori, I want to apologize for all the things I did not understand when I was raising you. You know, there wasn't a book written then, but I understand now." To me, that's the best review a book could receive: the strengthening of bonds between an adoptive parent and child by building bridges of understanding.
Rating:
Summary: Overwhelming But Very Helpful
Review: As a prospective adoptive parent, this book was very helpful to me. It really helped me have a better understanding of what it's like to be adopted, to see it from the child's perspective. It was rather overwhelming -- I had assumed that if we adopted an infant, our child would have no "issues" -- but good for me. I'm sure that not every adoptee has every issue mentioned in the book, but it's good to have a sense of what might come up so you're not completely blindsided.
Rating: 
Summary: Depressing
Review: I am a foster parent and an adoptive parent I also know some adult adoptees. This book gives the most depressing and morose view of adoption that there is. Sure, there is loss amongst adoptees. Sure, there is a longing to know your history. But, as a parent of any child being open, honest and doing your best to help your child through tough spots, whatever they are, is the critical element. What is not important is reading a book by an ultra conservative, adoptee who has no other educational or reasearch back round OTHER than her circumstance.
Buy the Weaver's Craft, written by professionals and adoptive parents.
Rating:
Summary: The Issue is More Complex Than People Realize
Review: A reviewer below complained that "being negative" would make an adopted child be negative, among other things. She decided that the entire book is bad because she didn't like Sherri's approach to dealing with the inner pain many (if not all) adopties feel to some extent. Unfortunately, this is very short-sighted, and shows a tremendous lack of understanding of the area. I have been an adoptive parent of a sibling group for almost 10 years now, and while I began with many of her feelings, I ended up feeling far differently. As my own children reached their teenage years, I was dramatically confronted with major issues that were buried below the surface. This was not generated by "negative talk," but rather was part of their inherent feelings and emotions. All my "feel good" thoughts didn't make their feelings go away. While I may not agree with every last point, Sherri's book is packed full of useful things every adoptive parent should keep in mind as they go down the bumpy and rewarding road that is called adoption. I am very grateful for a resource such as this and would encourage others to add it to their own resource library.
Rating:
Summary: Rubbish
Review: As a prospective adoptive parent I am open to the idea my child will come to me having experienced loss and will need to be encouraged to discuss her feelings. However, this book suggests highly inappropriate ways to do so. In Chapter 2, which is where I stopped reading, the suggestion is made to draw a black circle on the picture of the child and tell him this represents the empty place inside them. What?! I can understand supporting a child who drew that on its own. But to place the suggestion there is bizarre. The book also discourages any euphemistic language like "chosen child". I have nine years experience as an elementary teacher and know a child takes his cues from the adults in his life. If you teach your child adoption is a sad and tragic event that is what your reality will become. If you celebrate your family, it will become the blessing it truly is. What is so wrong about a child who needs a home and a family who wants a child finding each other? I am sincerely worried about parents taking advice from this author. Our copy went in the rubbish bin.
Rating:
Summary: Help in Our Tme of Need
Review: Being an adoptive mother of two children in their teens and needing help, I read Ms. Eldridge's book. Not only did Ms. Eldridge answer many of my questions, she insightfully provided me with her first-hand experience since she, herself, is an adoptee. Who better to help someone, than one who has experienced pain and has come through it a better and stronger person? Ms. Eldridge specifically thanks God for "turning misery into ministry" in the beginning of her book. And her "misery", has indeed, been turned into a wonderful "ministry" of helping adoptees and adoptive parents! Ms. Eldridge has many insights and shares much information, personal and documented, related to the adoptee and their life, in each of the "20" chapters. She includes an extensive bibliography at the end of her book. I have personally been helped from reading her book, and I believe the adoptee and their adoptive parent, alike, can both find courage to face the unchangable, hope to see the truth set "you free", and strength to stand in the midst of their pain and problems. I highly recommend this book. I am glad I read it, and now I am glad I "know"!
Rating:
Summary: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Kne
Review: Sherrie, I spoke with you last week and told you what a difference your book, Twenty Things Your Adopted Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew. What a life transforming book this has been for my family! I have already gave away 2 copies and I am sure I will need more. I am a single foster/adoptive mom with 8 children, ages 18, 18, 11, 9, 6 year old twins and 18 month old twins, ALL of which are adopted. I would have said I was a good, supportive adoptive mom...until I read your book. Now I believe I will be able to say I am a great adoptive mom. I understand I have a very different standing in the adoption process because all of my children have came to me from the foster care system. I do have a lot of "facts" that one day will be handed over to them when they are ready for all of the information. I also am one of those foster parents that always has a camera ready to leave at a visit, so we have pictures of all of their birth parents. I can one day say I prayed for their parents and supported their parents in the having their children returned to them. Where I blew it was I didn't encourage my children to talk about their birth parents...after adoption. It was not that they don't talk about them...it was that I didn't ask questions to become part of the conversation I just "heard" what they said, but didn't listen to what the didn't say or engage them in their conversation. Now I do. One other thing that I think was in the last chapter that was Real Big for me was where you stated something to the effect that when a child is seeking their birth parents and you don't help "You are really putting your own emotional needs before your child's!" I too, when I really thought about it didn't want "MY" children to seek "THEIR" birth parents. I always said that if they did I know it is about them and their needs, it is not about me or rejecting me. Now I can say it and BELIEVE it! It is not about them taking a piece of my heart, it is about them healing a piece of their heart! That in it's self in very important because it is so empowering for the child and the parent! One of my eighteen year old girls and I are also in the process of reading Twenty Life-Transforning Choices Adoptees Need To Make and doing your workbook, Twelve Steps For Adopted Teens! I will keep you posted on our progress! IN HIM, Janet L. Sanford
Rating:
Summary: A Wake Up Call for Adoptive Parents
Review: Sure, some are put off by the fact that the author involves her own life in the book, but isn't that the passion that drove her to write it in the first place? This is a wonderful book for adoptive parents! I speculate that some people may be put off by it because the author is such a big fan of open adoption, which is still controversial in the adoptive world, but for all those nay-sayers, the evidence is there. This book might be written with the slant of an opinion, but there are many other fact based books that support open adoptions. This one just puts a human in the story. I am better equipped to be a foster parent & future adoptive parent after having read this book!!
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