Rating: 
Summary: Too Angst Oriented
Review: As an adopted person and a full-time stepmom, I found this book to focus way too much on the negative and on angst. I certainly had my share of issues as a teen, but I really don't think they are all traced back to my adoption and the six months I spent in a home prior to being placed in a family. Also, even though I am in contact with my biological family, my adoptive parents are my parents. That is how all involved think of the situation. In naming a book about adoption, I would never think to use the term adoptive parents. In fact, I had never considered the term before recently doing research for an assigned class topic in grad school. There is a sever lack of positive and empowering books about adoption, particularly for teens, and this book does not fulfill that need either, much to my disappointment. When my daughter begins questioning what the situation is with her Mom and discussing whether I will adopt her, I really want one for her to read!
Rating: 
Summary: Not a helpful book
Review: The author starts off by comparing the feelings an infant has on adoption day to the way an older child would feel if his parents were killed in a car wreck. She goes on to state that adoption causes a wound in the womb that ruins the child emotionally for life. Throughout the book the author refers to her own experience as an adoptee and her life long dependence on therapists to overcome the life altering loss she suffered at 4 days of age. She goes so far as to state a 3 year old told her he was afraid on his adoption day (at age 9 DAYS) because the adoptive parents were strangers. Most of the research is based on adult adoptees found in various therapy groups. Not a single positive adoption story is portrayed..possibly because the healthy and happy adoptees are not seeking therapy.If you are considering adoption please DO NOT waste your energy on this book. It is not helpful or constructive, but serves only to offer negativity and defeat before you even begin.
Rating:
Summary: My heart aches...
Review: ... when I read books like this one. Please read all the negative reviews on this book before you consider reading the book itself. Truth and Grace are much better answers than all the "primal wound" things this author addresses. I'm not saying we go into total denial of the unique needs that an adopted child MAY experience. What I am saying is that we need to get God's perspective on the adpoted child rather than continually focussing on all the negative stuff. "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families..."
(Ps 68:5-6 NIV)
Rating: 
Summary: Was she in our house?
Review: Was Sherrie Eldridge living in our home when she wrote this book? It sure seems like she was. This book is an eye opener for the problems that we encountered with our 17 year old Korean adopted son and why he acted the way he did. I wish that we had known about the problems of abandonment/loss that most adoptees face. Would we have been able to help him overcome his issues? Probably not by ourselves, but the counselors that we took him to over the last ten years also had no clues but with the clearly presented issues, they would have been more able to understand and help him deal with his issues. This is a must reading for anyone that has adopted children or is considering adoption. Our son is currently in a program for problem children and the counselors there are very familiar with the abandonment/loss issues and are helping him deal with these issues. Our son has been in the program since December 2002 and has had extensive counseling during this time. He is now only coming to the understanding of his subconscious problems. It's not easy raising birth children and even more of problem with adopted children. Ideals presented by Sherrie Eldridge help to understand issues that adoptees face. A most reading for all adoptive parents.
Rating:
Summary: CAUTION!!!
Review: This was a book I looked forward to with high expectation...what a huge let down. Sherri's approach in her book makes a blanket assumption that all adoptees are broken & will never find true joy or completeness-simply because they are adopted. This book was promoted as a Christian book & contained no scriptures to back up the basis for her thinking. Between the pop psychology world view (for example- rebirthing was spoken about)& the obviously wounded overflow of her heart, I found it most difficult to glean from this book any really valuable advice. Skip this book!!
Rating:
Summary: Give me a break!
Review: I have to go against the majority of reviews for this book and say that I disliked this book. In ch 1 or 2 they mention "intrauterine rejection syndrome".... give me a break! I can understand addressing adoption loss, but I feel the book goes too far and gets lost in psycho-babble. I thought that a great deal of the advice was given from the point of view of a person who was bitter over their own closed adoption. Give me some real practical advice, not some mumbo jumbo about an infant being traumatized a day after birth because they don't hear their mother's voice.....
Rating:
Summary: Practice Advice Lost in the Psycho-Babble
Review: This book grabbed my attention immediately because of the "twenty things" I needed to know as a future adoptive parent. As I dived into the content of the book, however, I found my head spinning at some of the (dare I say) stretched claims made concerning the mental state of adopted children. Some of the stories used to illustrated the experiences of adopted children could very well have been told about children who are not adopted. I DID appreciate the good ideas given for talking openly to my child about adoption! There was just a little too much gloom and doom for me.
Rating:
Summary: Very Insighful and understanding
Review: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge (Author) was very informitive for me. Being a birthmother who wanted to investigate prior to initiating a search for my birthson; I found this book opened the door to a world that I was about to step into. Sherrie's information and truth to the emotions of the adoptive child is based on real life and truth of many children out there. And the book helped me understand and put into perspective what my son as well as his parents may have dealt with emotionally. It prepared me to have a sensitive, yet accurate view of the loss and healing aspect of trama we as triad members journey through and feel similar emotions. Thanks to Sherrie for helping many recover and resolve by first looking at truth.
Rating:
Summary: This is a most helpful book for anyone in the adoption triad
Review: I am a birth mom who placed a son for adoption as an infant. In order to understand him more, his adoptive parents and myself, this is one of the books I read and it is super in giving helpful information to its readers. It helps all to understand the emotional roller coast the adoptive child/adult has possibly been on. Also, it helps the adoptive parents to look deeper into their understanding of the questions from their adoptive child. I highly recommend this book for all parties in the adoption triad. Thanks! Virginia Greene
Rating:
Summary: Preparing for the most important job in the world!
Review: I am going through the adoption assessment process in the UK and read this book a few months ago. Nothing else I have read so far has been as easy to read and informative as 'Twenty Things...' - I would totally recommend it to those researching adoption and for those in search of comfort. Not only did I find the book informative, with lots of practical suggestions for prospective adoptive parents, it was also spiritually uplifting. It faces some difficult issues head on and I belive the knowledge I have gained will indeed help prepare me to do the best job I can as a new parent.
You'll be a richer person for having read 'Twenty Things...'!
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