Rating: 
Summary: A sensitive, insightful, must-read
Review: This book should be required reading for anyone who desires to understand the inner-world and emotional needs of the adoptee in their life, or any adoptee wishing to more deeply grasp their own issues as a relinquished person. Sherrie Eldridge beautifully expresses the emotional impact of relinquishment on children.Adoptive parents who follow the wisdom this book offers will be able to provide the emotional roadmap adopted children need to navigate growing up adopted.
Rating: 
Summary: Book for adult adoptees who want to feel like victims
Review: This is not a book for adoptive parents but rather for adult adoptees who want to be told that all their problems in life stem from adoption. It is definitely not a good parenting book. The only adoptive parents who would enjoy this book are masochists.
Rating:
Summary: Adoptive Parents - Must Get This One
Review: This book was wonderful. As a potential adoptive mother the feelings and lessons relayed in the pages of this book were great. There is only so much preparedness a potential adoptive mother can have, and this book is definately a tool. I borrowed the book from a friend, and now have ordered my own copy. This way I can read the book again and again as the years go by. Thank you for putting out such a useful tool.
Rating:
Summary: Should Be Required Reading For Adoptive Parents
Review: I highly recommend Sherrie Eldridge's well-researched book. If only we had had access to this kind of information when my husband and I adopted our son and daughter over thirty years ago! Like adoptive parents today, we wanted to provide a wonderful life for our children. However, in those days, society didn't understand the unique needs of adopted youngsters. Unfortunately, our family suffered dire consequences beause of our ignorance. Fortunately, readers of Eldridge's excellent book will be well prepared to meet their children's needs. Eldridge helps her readers understand the adoptee's inner world by drawing upon a wealth of sources: the findings of recent research about adoption; the quotations and advice of respected professionals; anecdotes from her own experiences as an adopted individual and those of other adoptees; and adoptive parents' stories. I found myself repeatedly thinking, "Yes, that happened to us!" In addition, Eldridge's down-to-earth style holds the reader's interest throughout. Best of all, Eldridge provides practical how-to advice about "WHAT ADOPTIVE PARENTS CAN DO." It's painful for us to recognize that our children's earliest experiences and dual heritage provide sorrow and anger. However, Eldridge's positive suggestions give hope for today's adoptive parents to achieve for their children the happiness and health they desire for them and that adopted children so much deserve.
Rating:
Summary: Changed Lives
Review: Your book is changing my life. Thank you doesn't do justice to the gratitude I feel. In the privacy of my home I began to read and cry and read some more. Your words touched my soul and provoked the aching longing for acceptance I have carried all my life. I consider it a miracle that your work came into my life at a time when I can finally deal with the issues. Phoebe King My wife bought me this book and it had a very big impact on my life. It expressed things I knew but never showed. I acted out my fears in very destructive ways. I would like to thanks Mrs. Sherrie Eldridge for putting a powerful message into words. John Fishkilll Correctional Facility New York I have been sober for 15 years and recently got into therapy. While my counselor knew that adoption was an issue, after reading your book, I now know that it was the core issue and the start of my problems. Keep up the great work, as your book is more insightful and valuable than any the professionals have written. Mark Henderson Scottsdale, Arizona
Rating: 
Summary: Kris -- Reader from Ohio
Review: As a prospective adoptive parent AND adoptee, I found this book to be helpful in emphasizing some of the communication issues in adoption. This book emphasizes regret and loss on the part of the adoptee -- feelings that as an adoptee, I do not feel strongly about. I believe reading this book as an adoptive parent may give good insight into concerns and feelings, but as an ADOPTEE, I want prospective parents to know that my experience has been positive and happy -- therefore do not let this book discourage you. I found some interesting parallels to my life in this book, including hating birthdays and some of my actions growing up. I believe adoption can be more positive than the portrait the author paints. Readers can, however, use some of the communication suggestions the author makes.
Rating: 
Summary: Bleak picture of adoption
Review: As a prospective adoptive parent, I had hoped to find a unique perspective given from that of the adopted child. Instead I found a book filled with apparent regret and loss on the part of the adoptee. If you are looking for a positive light in which to view adoption, I would choose another source. If I hadn't been as well informed about adoption and seen the benefits and wonderful relationships that can come from adoptive experiences, I would be very wary of entering the adoption triad.
Rating: 
Summary: What Adoption Experts Are Saying About Twenty Things
Review: "I am continuing to read your book--and loving it. Twenty Things works well for picking up and reading a few minutes at a time. Every adoptive parent should have a copy. Sherrie Eldridge uses true stories, quotes, and vivid allegories to give a compassionaite, accepting picture of the individual and unique journey taken by each person involved in adoption. This is a book I wish I had read when I was raising my adopted children, and it has already inpsired a poignant and constructive conversation with my 27-year-old daughter." KATHY MOSS, Executive Director of ATTACh (Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children). "Sherrie Eldridge has opened my eyes widely to the unique needs of my adopted daughter and how to meet them. This book is so clear on the needs of adopted children. I hope every adoptive parent like me will read it." STEVE ARTERBURN, Founder of New Life Clinics and Women of Faith, author of numerous books. "This is the book I have been waiting for! For those of us who have an adopted child, it is crucial that we understand what the adoption process means to the adoptee. Sherrie's book warmly compels us to do just that. This information will be enormously beneficial to parents who want and need to embrace the heart concerns of their adopted child." MARILYN MEBERG, Women of Faith speaker and author of Choosing the Amusing and I'd Rather Be Laughing. "Sherrie Eldridge packs a great deal of wisdom into this little book...and does so with the ease of a trusted friend." JANA WOLFF, author of Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother "In Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge has done a superb job of speaking some hard truths, offering practical ideas, eliciting the courage for healing work, and encouraging all those involved in adoption to go beyond the cliches toward greater understanding and connection. This is a 'must read' for anyone whose life or work involves adoption. The journey is an exciting, challenging one, but the rewards can only be enhanced with the insights offered in this 'jewel' of a book." PAULA PICKLE, LCSW, Executive Director of The Attachment Center At Evergreen, Inc., adoptive parent "This is a landmark publication in the adoption field. Sherrie Eldridge has given us a sensitive, down-to-earth guide to the core issues adoptive parents want and need to understand as they respond to the genuine needs of their adopted sons and daughters. It provides a rare opportunity for the reader to share the inner feelings of adoptees and will be read by all members of the adoption triad and helping professions." DIRCK W. BROWN, ED.D., Founder, Post Adoption Center for Education and Research (PACER), co-author of Clinical Practice in Adoption, family therapist Knowledge of what lies inside the adoption experience for many adopted persons equips adoptive families and children to enjoy healthy, effective lives. In her book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge not only creates an awareness of issues such as loss, grief, guilt, and shame as they emerge in the lives of adopted children, but she also gives families the skills to deal with these complex issues in the developmental years. Gleaning from her own life experience and the expertise of many other mental health professionals, Eldridge makes a significant contribution to the literature in the adoption field." JAYNE E. SCHOOLER, author of The Whole Life Adoption Book, Searching for a Past and Mystery History, trainer for the Ohio Child Welfare Training Program "Here at last is a book adoptive parents have been waiting for. Author Sherrie Eldridge has reached into her own experience as an adoptee and come forth with twenty important issues that adoptive parents need to know in order to effectively parent their adopted children. Focusing on the loss experience, Ms. Eldridge emphasizes the need for children to be able to grieve their losses, to know the truth about their lost heritages, and to have help in finding the lost Self. With sensitivity toward the adoptive parents, Eldridge gently educates parents about the fears that adoptees harbor, both about the heritage (which is often a secret), and about their security in their adoptive families. She offers parents insightful and practical advice about helping their children cope with these issues. But most of all, she offers HOPE. Allowing us into her own perceptions and beliefs about her life as an adopted child, Ms. Eldridge brings a ring of truth and immediacy to this complex and often painful subject. A book all adoptive parents should read!" NANCY VERRIER, adoptive mother, therapist, author of The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child "I love this book! If fills a gap in what is available for adoptive parents and discusses the adoptee's experience with truth and candor. Adoptive relationships have for too long been encumbered by secrets and pretense. By helping parents open an intimate door to closer connections with the ones they adopted, this book reveals the importance of dealing with what is true and offers wonderful ideas for strengthening interpersonal bridges." CONNIE DAWSON,PH.D., co-author of Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children "So many questions about adoption remain unspoken, leaving children and parents paralyzed with confusion. Sherrie Eldridge gives voice to these questions as well as answers, offering hope and help. A must-read for all parties touched by adoption." ELISA MORGAN, President, MOPS International
Rating:
Summary: A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE...TURNING GRIEF INTO GIFTS
Review: Sherrie, an adoptee herself, has captured a point of view that few have been able or found the courage to investigate. Her self journey is a guide for us all. The triad, Birth Mother/Birth Father, Adoptee, Adopting Parents, come to understand that the essense of the act of adopting is based in a series of losses. The Birth familys' inability to properly care for the child, the Adopted Parent inability to have a child, and the childs inability to control or understand the before mentioned circumstances. All are loss-based. In the midst of the celebration of the adoption process is a grieving child. Because his/her experience was determined for them in a preverbal developemental stage, a linial logic of understanding is not available to the child, nor will it ever be a product of reasoning. Each corner of the triad has a role to play and all must honor their grief,acknowledge the dark and unfulfilled hole in the childs life experience and skillfully give guidance to incorporated and accept the grief ,as a gift to understanding the uniqueness of the childs' triumphant journey ! A sensitive look acknowledging that, God IS our Father and Earth IS our Mother, and all that follows is a journey ! For the adopted child, a wounded start, if guided through love, a wonderous beginning! As an adopted parent , I now better understand the brewing couldren of anger underneath my son's sunny smile. It is not my fault,however it is my challenge to walk with my son (of God and Mother earth), through the dark and fearful obiss to the calm light of worthiness and spirited vision for his future. Love alone is not enough to support these individuals on their journey,a roadmap is necessary to identify the unspoken griefs that hide within us all. Bless all of you who are touched by adoption ! Your adventure is a work of wonders, and your reward the riches of heavenly kings. Know that you don't work this process alone, you are supported by all that proceed you....just ask!
Rating:
Summary: Endorsements for TWENTY THINGS
Review: "Sherrie Eldridges uses true stories, quotes and vivid allegories to give a compassionate, accepting picture of the individual and unique journey taken by each person involved in adoption. This is a book I wish I had read when I was raising my own adopted children, and it has already inspired a poignant and constructive conversation with my 27-year-old adopted daughter. The founder of Jewel Among Jewels Adoption Network,Inc., has written a book full of gems of wisdom and beauty that we can all treasure. Every adoptive parent should have a copy!" KATHLEEN MOSS, LCSW, Executive Director of ATTACh (Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) "Sherrie Eldridge packs a great deal of wisdom into this little book...and does so with the ease of a trusted friend." JANA WOLFF, author of Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother "Sherrie Eldridge has opened my eyes wide to the unique needs of my daughter and how to meet them. This book is so clear on the needs of adopted children. I hope every adoptive parent like me will read it." STEPHEN ARTERBURN, Founder of New Life Ministries and Women of Faith; author of Hooked on Life, Growing Up Addicted, How Will I Tell My Mother?, Drug-Proof Your Kids, When Someone You Love Is Someone You Hate and Toxic Faith "This is the book I've been waiting for! For those of us who have an adopted child, it is crucial that we understand what the adoption process means to the adoptee. Sherrie's book warmly compels us to do just that. This information will be enormously beneficial to parents who want and need to embrace the heart concerns of their adopted child." MARILYN MEBERG, Women Alive speaker, author of Choosing the Amusing and I'd Rather Be Laughing "In Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge has done a superb job of speaking some hard truths, offering practical ideas, eliciting the courage for healing work, and encouraging all those involved in adoption to go beyond the cliches toward greater understanding and connection. This is a 'must read' for anyone whose life or work involves adoption. The journey is an exciting, challenging one, but the rewards can only be enhanced with the insights offered in this jewel of a book." PAULA PICKLE, LCSW, Executive Director of The Attachment Center at Everygreen, Inc.;adoptive parent "This is a landmark publication in the adoption field. Sherrie Eldridge has given us a sensitive, down to earth, guide to the core issues adoptive parents want and need to understand as they respond to the genuine needs of their adopted sons and daughters. It provides a rare opportunity for the reader to share the inner feelings of adoptees and will be read by all members of the adoption triad and helping professionals." DIRCK W. BROWN, Ed.D., Founder, Post Adoption Center for Education and Research (PACER); co-author of Clinical Practice in Adoption; family therapist "So many questions about adoption remain unspoken, leaving children and parents paralyzed by confusion. Sherrie Eldridge gives voice to these questions as well as answers, offering help and hope. A must-read for all parties touched by adoption." ELISA MORGAN, President, MOPS International; adoptive parent "Knowledge of what lies inside the adoption experience for many adopted persons equips adoptive families and children to enjoy healthy, effective lives. In her book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge not only creates an awareness of issues such as loss, grief, guilt and shame as they emerge in the lives of adopted children, but she also gives families the skills to deal with these complex issues in the developmental years. Gleaning from her own experience and the expertise of many other mental health and adoption professionals, Eldridge makes a significant and meaningful contribution to the literature in the field of adoption." JAYNE E. SCHOOLER, author of The Whole-Life Adoption Book Searching for a Past, and Mystery History; trainer for the Ohio Child Welfare Training Program; adoptive parent "Here at last is a book adoptive parents have been waiting for. Author Sherrie Eldridge has reached into her own experience as an adoptee and come forth with twenty important issues that adoptive parents need to know in order to effectively parent their adopted children. Focusing on the loss experience, Ms. Eldridge emphasizes the need for children to be able to grieve their losses, to know the truth about their lost heritage, and to have help in finding the lost Self. With sensitivity toward the adoptive parents, Eldridge gently educates parents about the fears that adoptees harbor, both about their heritage (which is often a secret) and about their security in their adoptive families. She offers parents insightful and practical advice about helping their children cope with these issues. But most of all, she offers HOPE. Allowing us into her own perceptions and beliefs about her life as an adopted child, Ms. Eldridge brings a ring of truth and immediacy to this complex and often painful subject. A book all adoptive parents should Understanding the Adopted Child; adoptive parent "Sherrie Eldridge's book us a lucid guide to the many issues caused by the bonding disruption inherent in adoption. The possibility of complete healing through bonding between adoptive parent and child is enhanced when parents understand the phenomenon Sherrie so sensitively describes." MARTHA G. WELCH, M.D., Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons; author of Holding Time "I love this book! It fills a gap in what is available for adoptive parents and discusses the adoptee's experience with truth and candor. Adoptive relationships have for too long been encumbered by secrets and pretense. By helping parents open an intimate door to closer connections with the ones they adopted, this book reveals the importance of dealing with what is true and offers wonderful ideas for strengthening interpersonal bridges." CONNIE Parenting Our Children "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is a book written with passion and insight from the personal perspective of Sherrie Eldridge. Throughout the book, the author deals with the issues of adoption with amazing frankness and honesty. Twenty Things does not pull any punches." SUSAN SOON-KEUM COX, Vice-President Public Policy and External Affairs, Holt International Children's Services
|
