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Summary: It works!
Review: I bought this book 2 years ago when my child was 2 and saw immediate positive change in my child after only the first two weeks, unfortunately this prompted me to abandon the rest of the book. Two years later, I have found myself stressed and screaming and ready to pull my hair out again! I stumbled across this book again, as if by fate( I had been looking for somthing else). I decided to read this book and follow to the end. I am telling you if you're child is truly strong willed this book will work, but you have to be willing to put in the time and effort. My child was a negative attention hog. He is learning that positive attention is good, and he gets no attention for negative(nondestructive) behavior. I followed a lot of advice from family in the beginning but I had felt it made things worse. I always believed that if I ignored some of his bad behavior it would go away, but family made me feel otherwise. Have faith in yourself and your intuitions about your child. This book has helped quite a bit, now the true test is to continue on indefinitely.
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Summary: Great advice for dealing with MY strong willed 3 year olds
Review: I checked out a few books before deciding on this one. It focuses mainly on using positive reinforcement and time outs to change bad behaviors. Prior to reading this, I didn't really know how to use time outs successfully. (For example, the book discusses how the child should be returned to the original place where the behavior occurred after finishing the time out. So if you were asking the child to pick up her toys, ask her to pick them up again after the time out. If not, the time out can become a way to "get out" of doing something. )The approaches discussed in the book have really helped my family a lot. I feel like I have a set of guidelines to follow so when my daughter starts to act out I don't get frustrated - I know what to do! I guess that just goes with my personality though - I'm more frustrated when I don't know what's happening next. This helps me avoid that - it's like I have a mental checklist in my head of things to do when she acts up. Now that my husband and I both use the techniques discussed - our whole household is much happier! Another reviewer commented that ignoring a child is a poor parenting technique. I disagree. I found it to be very effective when used properly. Common sense tells you not to ignore a child who's crying because she's hurt. However, when a child is screaming purely to get attention (as mine does) and there's nothing wrong with her, ignoring is the only way to curb that behavior. We had a real problem with my 3 y/o daughter screaming in the car, in the store, or at home, just because she didn't get want she wanted. After we'd ignored the behavior enough times, she simply stopped doing it. Instead, we tell her to explain how she feels. So now she just says "I'm mad about something." And we talk about it. SOOO much better! My point is this - I realize this book will not give you all the answers, and nor will it work for every single child, but I found it quite helpful in parenting MY strong-willed child.
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Summary: Parenting the Strong-willed Child
Review: I love this book. I think every parent should read it. The first step of attending really makes you think about how many demands you are putting on your child. Do you ever just listen to your child and pay attention to what s/he is doing? My daughter would thank me when I would pay attention to what she was doing, even if I just said, "That is a really bright blue crayon you are using." Even if your child is not strong-willed, the strategies in here are great. It really makes you think about how often you notice what he or she is doing right. It is so important to focus on the positive.
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Summary: Great book, but where to go after 5 weeks?
Review: I purchased Parenting the Strong-Willed Child reluctantly. I'm more focused on long term relationships and was hesitant to think that a "five week program" would be anything else but a shallow understanding of parenting. But...I really enjoyed Forehand's work. It hasn't been five weeks since I've completed the book, but I think I'm getting it. For those of us who are interested in additional detail, as I am, I would like to suggest that Parenting the Strong-Willed Child be read along with Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture. Systemic Parenting answers many of the how and why questions regarding parenting that seem absent from Parenting the Strong Willed Child. Systemic Parenting does not provide a 5 week plan but rather a larger view of parenting. I think both are valuable resources to parents.
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Summary: Helpful book
Review: I want my kids to view spanking as the worst thing ever - the atomic bomb of punishment. If you have to spank a kid more than once a month, it ain't working.
As I prepared to give my strong-willed, stubborn 2 year old her third spanking in one day (?!) {for hitting her older brother -AGAIN}, her look of bitter resentment gave me pause; for her, I needed a new plan.
More than two years after buying "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" by Forehand and Long, I am the happy father of a still strong-willed and stubborn 4 year old. However, she is mostly well-behaved and obedient, as well as happy, and does not resent or fear me. I whole-heartedly endorse this book's progam.
"Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" also seems to be a clinical, religion-free, nuts and bolts implementation of Dr. Ross Campbell's excellent "How to Really Love Your Child."
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Summary: Clinically proven child rearing?!
Review: I was looking for a book that could give me some guidance as to how to deal with my 2 1/2 year old's tantrums and her incredible energy. While reading 'Parenting the strong-willed child' I felt that the authors refered to mean robots rather than to a child that is most likely struggling herself. There are plenty of tips and advices in the book, but unfortunatly the authors will only tell you with very few for wich age group they are appropriate. I felt that most of what is written does not apply either to my daughter's age or her temperament. As the title mentions already, it is a very clinical book. I did not like this approach, where you have lists to check off and flow charts to look at for your child's behaviour. Yet, when I was looking for more feedback or an answer to my many 'what if ...' questions I was left in the dark again. For somebody who is looking at a more humane and understanding approach to this subject I would highly recommend 'Raising your spirited child' by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This author did a wonderful job and I will definitely read her book over and over again as my daughter gets older. So far, it has truly helped me to greatly improve everyday life for me and my daughter (which was nice and loving before, but sometimes I was just at a loss and did not know how to handle special situations) and shown me to see many things (in her and in myself) from a much more loving and understanding point of view.
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Summary: Exactly what I was looking for!
Review: If you wished your child came with a set of instructions, this book is it! The foundation of this book is what many of us feel in our hearts but don't know how to achieve: discipline from a positive perspective and rule out the shouting and spanking. This book should be mandatory reading for every parent leaving the maternity ward. It is not just for strong-willed children. The 5-step program is easily attainable for anyone committed to a better relationship with their child/children. Having read a half-dozen books related to boys and difficult behaviors in a search for answers, I guarantee this book is the best.
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Summary: Great for any kid, not just strong-willed ones
Review: Just had to write in, although I actually have an older edition. This book saved my family this year! My 5 year old (then 4) was acting out horribly and we were spanking and he was just getting worse & worse. This was when we brought home our baby (our 3rd child) of course. We just all felt terrible & spanking was clearly making it all worse. Our first child has never been spanked, having always been very compliant, so we had no experience with how to deal with our very defiant, intense, and obstinate (but also very loving) boy. I found this book on Amazon, looking for ANYTHING out of desperation, and I'm glad to say that it worked like nothing else has. Be warned, as the book says, that if your child is a born "tester" as mine is, you will never be out of the woods & this book will not "cure" him. He still tests us (& now his kindergarten teacher) on a regular basis, especially when his regularly structured day changes. He just will always have to check where his limits are to feel comfortable. And boy, does he test! I have to say that this book also worked for my nanny, whom he was testing quite a bit when she first started caring for him. And on rare occasions, I hate to say that he does behave outrageously enough that we will wind up spanking him. But most of the time, he does OK, he knows where his limits are, & these techniques WORK. A word of warning, though. They take TIME and a committment to be willing to STOP whatever you're doing and enforce the limits immediately. Which often means you HAVE to interrupt a meal, or groceries, or class, or any other activity for which interruptions are unwelcome. This isn't magic and it is all pretty common sense. But parenting children like my boy is unequivocally high-intensity and they will be high-need for as long as we are raising them. It just requires accepting that fact & that it isn't your fault. I highly & frequently recommend this book to ALL parents, especially those who have been spanking. It will change your outlook, you will understand how spanking deeply undermines your parenting and your child, and you will truly appreciate your child AND being a parent. To those desperately seeking a solution, here's the best I've found. Best wishes on your parenting adventure!
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Summary: I got immediate results!
Review: My son started the terrible two's at about 18 mos. When I brought home our second child when he's was 26 mos. The terrible two's escalated exponentially. He was would bite, hit, scream, etc. to get more attention. I gave him more attention and the temper got worse. I was at my wits end. A friend told me about 1-2-3 Magic, another book on the subject. I read the reviews and was rather distressed by the mixed reviews. I was looking for a technique that would make my entire family happier. I felt I didn't get enough information from the internet (sorry Amazon) for such an important subject. Also, I don't have time to read several books, I needed my family's relationship with my son to change now. At a local book store, I read the forwards of several books on child discipline. This book made me feel most comfortable. I have only completed week 1 and I am actually extending week one into a week two. The first thing they point out is that parents tend to make demands and ask specific questions when communicating with their child. I didn't realize this, but it's true. Week 1 is attending...generally you are playing with your child and letting him direct the play, while you are running commentary. It sounds corny, but by just narrating what he is doing, he feels that what he is doing is important. You comment on everything that he does except on misbehavior. Doing this I found just how much I usually tend to instruct and direct him and reprimand him. The goal is to incorporate this into your daily routine. He has quieted down with the obnoxious behavior already and I look forward the incorporating the weeks to come.
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Summary: Great for ALL children!
Review: Practial steps to build a foundation for good discipline. Gives realistic ideas that are easy to impliment. It's no wonder so many professionals recommend this book. I'd also suggest: Perfect Parenting - The Dictionary of 1000 Parent Tips by Elizabeth Pantley.
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