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Summary: 1, 2, 3, it really IS magic...
Review: I first learned about Thomas W. Phelan PhD and his book 1, 2, 3, Magic when my oldest son, Nicholas was 3. I was volunteering for a program called Parenting Partners and needed to know this discipline philosophy so that I could teach it to other parents. Frankly, at first I was sure that it was so simple, it couldn't possibly work. As if you can say, "one, two, three," and your kids are just going to do what you want! Sounds like a fairy tale to the typical parent, right? Well after really using his simple method for the past 7+ years with all three of my children, teaching it to many parents and recommending the book to many more I can honestly say that it does work just like magic!! Dr. Phelan explains the right way of counting (without getting angry or over-explaining), to stop undesired behavior, and stresses positive reinforcement to get desired behaviors to start. Everyone I've known who has used this method properly has had great success and you can too! What's next for me? Well, Nicholas will be 11 in a couple of months...I think I'll get Dr. Phelan's Surviving Your Adolescents!!!
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Summary: 1-2-3 Magic
Review: I bought this book after struggling with my 2 yr. old daughter WAY too often for my liking. I followed it to the letter. My 4 yr. old son shaped up almost instantly. His behaviour has never been better. My 2 yr. old daughter (now 2 1/2) couldn't care less. I "count" her 4 and 5 times a day, STILL, and I have been doing the 1-2-3 Magic method for almost five months. And she has the most explosive tantrums. Soooo frustrating.The 1-2-3 Magic method is good for some kids, and not others, like so many things in life. I am currently looking around for another book to help me deal with my spirited, strong-will, etc. little girl.
Rating: 
Summary: 1-2-3 Magic
Review: I am the director of a Christian child care center. One of our children began to use at his other school. The school district asked us to begin using it also to promote consistancy in his discipline program. This way he will have the same discipline program at home, school AND child care. His discipline problems have begun to diminish. The other children are coming along and realize that we are holding firm to their discipline program, too. It has raised our standards and the children's. We have viewed this video but now need to own it so we can continue to use it in the future.
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Summary: NOT for all temperaments!
Review: The author's ideas didn't foster good communication skills and worsened the power struggles in one of my two spirited children. Adults certainly wouldn't say to eachother "that's 1...2...3 - take 5 minutes". You're in the checkout line and your child wants a lollipop, you say "no" and they have a tantrum.... so counting makes it better?! It may get them to stop, but do you think the child feels like you heard or understood him? Although the methods worked with one of my children, I much prefer the methods suggested in other books where you plan ahead for potential problems in order to avoid them - but if they come up, you empathize with the child so that they know you heard them. "Oh, you would really enjoy a lollipop today. Perhaps we'll get one another time." And then keep the child busy helping you load groceries onto the conveyor belt or give them a snack you brought along...Control or Coach? You decide what works best for you and your family.
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Summary: 1-2-3 MAGIC HAD ALL THE ANSWERS!
Review: 1-2-3 Magic had all the answers! As a single parent of a 3-1/2 year old boy, I found the days getting harder and harder for both of us. I had "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome" and all of my words of reason were falling on the angry ears of a Child, not a "little adult" with the same virtues and morals I believe myself to possess. Every time I tried to explain the many reasons why he should stop misbehaving or start behaving, he inevitably got cheeky or angry, fuelling my exhausted temper and ending up in tears. There would be good days, or good mornings or afternoons, so I knew that he knew how to be good, which made it much harder to understand why he would not respond to the reasons I inevitably ALWAYS gave. 1-2-3 MAGIC has taught me step-by-step how to effectively discipline my son without losing control and falling into the "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome". I've read many books in the hope of improving my skills as a parent, and have had many small successes, but none have been as easy to read, or as easy to follow as 1-2-3 MAGIC. Learning the No-Talking and No-Emotion rules have been my greatest life-lessons to date, and have improved our lives considerably already. A friend loaned me her copy one week ago, and I have been using the methods described for just 3 days! Learning to remain calm and in control has made it easy to be consistent and my son is quickly learning my boundaries. He's a smart and beautiful boy with all the stubborness of his father and myself combined, and he loves to assert his authority by making me crazy. It's a game to see how far he can push me before I lose control. In 3 days I have learned not to play along, not to accept bad behaviour and to be absolutely consistent every time. And by using the methods exactly as described it has taken all the guess work out of discipline in our house. 1-2-3 MAGIC has also made it simple for my boyfriend to learn to parent effectively without any experience. He had always refrained from disciplining my son, preferring to leave it up to me, but has quickly followed my lead and become my ally, showing my son that we are a team and we care. I am truly amazed by the quick results! Thank-you to Dr. Phelan and his collaborators for sharing the results of their extensive research and experimentation with the rest of the world, and ME! Very highly recommended!
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Summary: Good for most situations...
Review: I am a remarried parent and I have my five year old daughter only about 20% of the time. My daughter gets very little and inconsistent discipline at her mother's house. After reading this book and being diligent with the techniques and practices, I've noticed that my daughter is minding more often and behaving better. We still have far to go, but this establishes a good foundation. As far as more serious offenses, the book does address those with recommendations for swifter and more serious punishments. Another thing this book covers is a proactive approach where your child is rewarded for good behavior. This is where dealing with the strong-willed child becomes much easier in my experience. By setting up a reward system, my daughter actually looks for ways to earn priveleges! I recommend this book to anyone who does not have a consistent discipline plan in place or those whose disciplinary methods do not seem to be working. Of course, this technique may not work with all children, I would classify my daughter as "strong-willed" and it has proven effective for many problem areas - even though she only gets effective discipline while at my home.
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Summary: So simple it works!
Review: Its just amazing! At your wits end buy this book!
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Summary: THIS WILL MAKE MATTERS WORSE FOR SOME FAMILIES
Review: Time-outs simply don't work for all children. Trying to restrain an explosive child in a time-out chair or room sometimes causes him to become more frustrated, agitated and incoherent. The meltdown only intensifies, and everyone becomes exhausted. This is not the answer. My 7-year-old son has ADHD and used to scream and lash out if I put him in his room and held the door shut, as the author suggests. My son is just not capable of becoming calm when confined to a time-out. The author says we have to train our children as "wild animals" are trained. His method just shuts down any communication between parent and child, and I feel the child just becomes more resentful and more of a problem child. I agree with a couple of the other readers who recommended "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" by Mazlish and Faber, which helped our family enormously and is easy to read, easy to use, and results are seem immediately.
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Summary: You have to get this book!!
Review: This book is very easy to understand and to follow. I bought the book and my husband and I read it in less than one day. By that night, we had a family meeting to discuss. The one thing that makes this book different from any other discipline books is that it is a very easy process and gives you examples of EVERY possible senario you could encounter (in the car, in the store, what if they say no, what if they talk back, etc..) It's got all the answers. It made me a believer when my 7 and 9 year olds boys were fighting in the car and all I had to do was say "That's 1 for both of you" and for the first time EVER - there wasn't another word out of either of them. My husband and I couldn't stop giggling we were so excited!! We kept looking at them to make sure they weren't fighting in quiet because we couldn't believe it - but they weren't! The fight had actually stopped. You HAVE to get this book!
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Summary: Simple, sane, effective!
Review: This book really helped me. When my son misbehaves, I tended to get frustrated and angry and yell too much. I used time-outs, but I would use them angrily, like "That's it! Now you're getting a time-out!" and lecture too much. This book offers a simple way of giving time-outs that's MUCH more effective AND keeps me from yelling. First you explain the system to the kid so he knows what to expect. Then, when he misbehaves, you just say "That's one" and NOTHING ELSE. If he continues misbehaving, you go on to "That's two" and, if necessary, "That's three, take five." At that point, you put the kid in time-out WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING ELSE! That way, you don't get dragged into an argument, you don't get frustrated and yell, AND the kid knows you mean business and it's fruitless to argue. After the time-out, you let the kid out without mentioning it further. There's no hurt feelings, it's just simple, calm discipline where you're in control. It's a wonderful system. My son responded to it immediately. Now if he does something wrong, I say, "That's one," and he immedately stops what he's doing and says, "I didn't get to two or three!" And I say, "That's right, you didn't. Good for you."
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