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Summary: 1-2-3 Magic : Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
Review: I didn't really believe anything could help with my kids. Then someone told me about this bok, I started to read, and laugh, andr read and laugh some more. When I was done we started using what it says and guess what? IT WORKS!!!!
It is easy to read, easy to understand and easy to put to work in your own home. I am forever grateful that I now don't have to constantly do battle with my kids anymore.
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Summary: Thank You
Review: This was a life saver. I have more control of my 2 and 4 year old. I was going crazy with the terrible twos and the talking back of my four year old. My house is much a much nicer place to live. I have been recommending this to everyone.
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Summary: Best Parenting Book Around
Review: I enjoy reading parenting books. I've lost count of how many I have read over the years; but this book is the one book I tell people "if you can only read one parenting book, read this one." Yes, the methods are simple; but they are effective. They help you to set clear rules and boundaries which a two year old can understand and a twelve year old can respect. There is no ambiguity about what is expected and what the consequeces will be.This book isn't just about timeouts and discipline; it encompasses an entire parenting philosophy. It points out the importance of children behaving in an appropriate manner and the importance of children starting desirable behaviors along with children taking responsibility for their own actions and inactions. It gives concrete advise and examples in an easy to read and informative format. I try to re-read this book once every six months. If you believe in a gentle way of raising children. If you'd like your house to stop being a battlefield. If you would like to raise independent, well-mannered, self-sufficent children, then this books is for you.
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Summary: Outstanding Book!
Review: This book has helped our family tremendously. We are the parents of four children, all under the age of 6. Keeping the chaos to a minimum is a primary value in our household. What I appreciate is that the approach works just as well with our sophisticated, reasonable five year old as it does with our "I dare you to send me to time out" three year old. No child feels singled out because it can be used evenhandedly with all children. It is THEIR choice how often they are "counted" and how far the count goes. I spend hours a day listening to my children and talking about their thoughts and feelings. And I enjoy doing it.. . I respect them as individuals and honor their personhood. I love to hear about their insights and their victories. I want to know when they are angry or sad. But I do not want to hear "Can I have some juice," twenty times after I have already said "no." And I do not want to hear the ensuing tantrum. I do not want someone trying to get under my feet when I am trying to boil a pot of soup and I do not want to explain for the millionth time why that is a dangerous place to stand. . . because they already know that -- and that is WHY they are standing there in the first place: to get my undivided attention. So now all I have to say is: "That's one," and the child makes himself scarce. He will get my undivided attention when I am done, and he knows it. What's more, he feels a sense of self mastery because he has stopped himself from doing something that he knows is wrong. And I feel better because I have not lost my temper or had to drag this child kicking and screaming out of the kitchen while the soup burns on the stove. An easy and enjoyable read. Keep your sense of humor and be consistent and it will work!
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Summary: It Really Is Magic!
Review: The techniques in this book really work. It was recommended to me by my mother who is a marriage and family therapist. When we started using 123 with our two year old, the results were instantaneous. No more frustrating arguments or ridiculous conversations to try to elicit a proper response or stop a tantrum. My toddler is more at comfortable and ease now that she knows her boundaries. It is truely discipline without killing your child's self-esteem. In fact, it builds self-esteem by establishing firm limits. Parents should read the book as well as caretakers, grandparents, etc.. I highly recommend this book. The video is very good too.
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Summary: revolutionary
Review: I can't say how this has changed my family or at least the millions of negative experiences i have avioded by instituteing this program. It is a program! On that works if you work it and i recommend it to EVERYONE that has contact with children.
kristen
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Summary: Better Discipline Books Available
Review: 123 Magic is a one size fits all, quick fix approach that does NOT address the root cause of why children misbehave. It may bring fast results as long as strong temperament is not an issue, or if the ONLY problem is that the parent has been too lenient and pleasing in the past.
There is no help for parents trying to prioritise which behaviours to focus on when a child is truly out of control. Without a clear strategy to initiate change, a partent can easily be overwhelmed by a childs strong and fiercly oppositional reaction to even minor changes. For this I would highly recommend the book "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey or "Setting Limits: How to Raise Rresponsible Independent Children by Providing CLEAR Boundaries" by Robert J MacKenzie.
For an in-depth book that explores both the parent and childs role in power struggles, I would recommend "The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Rresourceful, and Independent Kids" by Swihart and Cotter. I agree with the books suggestion of no emotion or anger during discipline on the part of the parent. But even this is contradicted by the author who suggests that a smack on the butt for a child fighting a time out as being acceptable.
Also I found the books tone sort of negative and demeaning towards children at times, making comparisons to "wild animals" that need training.
There is some good advice on interrupting behaviors but overall too punitive for my liking.
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Summary: Almost Instant Results
Review: Dr. Phelan's book is an easy read, and his techniques are very simplistic. I have gone from a yelling, angry Mom to one who is more quiet. I have eliminated a lot of the talking and persuading to simple counting. My biggest challenge has been my 12 year old who tests everything. This is a big recommendation to anyone who is frustrated with their children's whining, begging and fighting. I also recommend watching the video for a reinforcement of the techniques.
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Summary: Works for ADHD
Review: This book saved me alot of grief with my son who has ADHD. What's magic is twofold:
1. A parent is reinforced in his or her own rightful parental power to make decisions and to discipline their child. Learning that you don't have to argue with your child saves alot of unneccesary stress.
2. It's amazing how such a benign consequence to a child's behavior could be so powerful--the child being sent to their room (full of toys and books) for just 5 minutes. But the magic occurs because of the consistency--that is the key. Strategies for start behaviors (things you want kids to do, like pick up their shoes), and stop behaviors (things you want kids to stop doing) are discussed, all based on the 1-2-3 go to your room. My son was a toughy--still is, but at 13, I'm going to read Phelan's adolescent book. This methods in this book are kind to the child, and kind to the parent--stops the yelling, arguing, hitting. Some of the behavioral methods I tried before required lots of record keeping, charts, etc. (and didn't work nearly as quickly and well), and this is so exquisitely simple. I also recommend the tape, as it demonstrates some common househould scenarios.
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Summary: A Great Book for Teachers, Counselors, and Parents!
Review: As a school guidance counselor I highly recommend this book often to both parents and teachers. I am planning to use this book as an example when teaching a Parenting Class. It is easy for busy parents to read and has helpful suggestions that you can put into use immediately.
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