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Summary: Every little bit of discipline information helps!
Review: My husband and I were frustrated with our two-year-old son's tantrums and misbehavior and didn't know where to turn. I found this book and thought, "What the heck." It was so helpful in demonstrating how consistency is the key to disciplining even the most willful toddler. Our son has matured a little in the past several months, and his behavior has improved dramatically. Some of Phelan's tips even make discipline fun, like using a timer to encourage your child to complete tasks (like picking up toys) quickly. We are big fans of this book!!!
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Summary: Helpful advice for good and bad behavior
Review: I have bought 3 copies of this book already for friends having difficulties with their children, and recommended it to many more. I like the calm, reasoned approach, as well as the humorous anticdotes!I now rarely get into conflict with my headstrong 4 year old daughter, I have been using this technique since she was 2 and she knows when she has to stop, and has forewarning that a punishment (go to her room, no TV, no dessert) is coming if she doesn't.
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Summary: If it can work for me, it can work for anyone!
Review: This book was recommended by a friend who knew that I was struggling with my daughter. I'm a single father of a (as of 10.10.02) five-year-old daughter. I have her everyday from after school, 3:30 to 6:30, and all day Sunday, and she still lives with her mom. I was raised with a smack first mentality and her mother believes in spanking, too. I decided early on that I wouldn't do that as it did nothing to improve my unruly behavior. Having said that, I was very skeptical of this book but with the great reviews here at Amazon, I gave it a shot. After reading about half of the book, I told my daughter I was reading a book about how we could better handle behavior issues. She abhors me yelling, despite causing the need for it. The book says that at that age, initially they might not understand the 1-2-3 explanation, but THE VERY SAME DAY, she understood. It worked for everything from leaving the park earlier than she wanted, to not listening at the house, in other words, everything. In fact, if I immediately got mad (this is addressed also at the end of the book under the backtracking chapter), she would say, "Hey, you didn't even count." Now, I have only had to use this a couple of times with my "old school" parents around, whom I know would prefer the spanking method, but the book does recommend strategies for dealing with skeptical loved ones, other parents, or friends. Finally, the second portion of the book addresses the "start behavior" such as cleaning rooms, homework, etc. While my daughter doesn't have as much to do as an older child, it has been very effective in dealing with these issues, too. In a nutshell, I was a divorced, clueless, single parent who grew up virtually isolated from other kids, so I was very eager for advice, and quite simply this book provided it. I can't imagine anyone not enjoying this book and it's recommended age range of 2-12 seems quite reasonable. I hope you find it as useful as I did.
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Summary: How to train your child to sit, roll-over and stay
Review: The ONE GOOD THING this book does is teach parents to not yell, scream, shame, argue, lecture, etc. The bad thing is that it also teaches you to be an inflexible parent whose needs and feelings are the only ones that matter. I wouldn't train my animals this way, much less children whom -- supposedly -- parents love and WANT in their lives. Parenting is tough and stressful. Because parents are vulnerable and desperate for a "magic" solution to their problems they'll buy just about anything that comes along which claims to alleviate the pain, thus these kinds of books propagate. Does 123 Magic work? I'm sure it does for many parents. This program only has one goal -- and it makes no attempt to conceal it: Making your children do what you want them to do (or stop doing). It completely disregards children's needs, feelings, reasonable expectations while at their developmental stage, etc. The goal of this program isn't raising responsible, self-disciplined, emotionally healthy children. It is just about training them to jump through hoops without any regard as to whether these hoops are reasonable or not. I liken this book to a huge box of band-aids. If you have a cut that doesn't stop bleeding, would you continue to put band-aids on it over and over without ever looking into what's making that cut not heal in the first place? There are more enlightened parenting experts out (check out Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon) there who teach parents to think of conflicts as ways to teach children proper behavior so that when you fix a problem it STAYS fixed. With 123 children never learn WHY they shouldn't do something, all they learn is that if they don't stop up comes the fingers and the threatening count, "1..... 2...." I say count to 3 and send this book to its room.
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Summary: Excellent! Pediatrician Recommended It!
Review: I found this book to be a positive, simple plan of action for diciplining children. My pediatrician recommended it, despite we were just experiencing normal dicipline issues. I realized quickly that 123 Magic can be a magnificent preventative measure that any parent can take to avoid raising a child later on down the line that needs excessive dicipline or grows to be out of control as a lack of effective dicipline in their younger years. 123 Magic was a quick, easy read and had loads of suggestions and advice that I've been using since my son was 3(and he is now 8.) I was amused that some found this book to be unfriendly for children but umm....I'm not here to be my son's friend. He has friends..I'm here to be his loving mother. The book advises the parent to remove some emotional element from diciplining the child so that they can see that we can control our own emotions..instead of ranting and raving . By setting an example in this manner I've found that it alleviated the stress of diciplining my son and made dicpline in public/stores/school incredibly effective. My son's teacher used the same methods as described in this book and my husband and his grandparents did as well. If the grandparents cooperate with this simple counting method/time outs it makes such a strong impression that you may find yourself only having to count to 2. I rarely need to get to 3 anymore and I have taught my son to respect himself, and us, by using the techniques in this book. I have given this book as a gift to many friends and every one of them has had success diciplining their children after reading the book. No child enjoys dicipline and no parent enjoys diciplining their child....This book is a fair and practical way to teach your child self-control while learning a thing or two yourself about self-dicipline. I highly recommend 123 Magic. Excellent resource for frustrated parents or parents that are just facing the 'terrible twos'.
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Summary: Not kid friendly
Review: Although I have found the techniques used in this book to be helpful, I found the attitude towards children to be somewhat disconcerting. As a counsllor and educator in the area of child abuse and neglect, I would have preferred that more of an explanation of where kids are coming from when they push limits be presented in a more friendly way (towards children). I understand the frustration that parents feel when their kids push limits and argue... but it doesn't make them the enemy or wild animals to be tamed. That is the attitude I picked up in this book. I would recommend "Assertive Discipline For Parents:A Proven, Step-by-Step Approach to Solving Everyday Behavior Problems" by Lee and Marlene Canter... a much more friendly attitude towards kids but with the same outcomes as 1,2,3....
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Summary: Worked with my 20 month -old
Review: I wasn't sure what to expect but this book was easy to read and the principles easy to use. My son and I are just entering the world of discipline and sticking to rules and this was extremely helpful in getting us to the place we needed to be. This, along with a couple of other choice books, are a good starting point for parents. Anything more than that the books begin to repeat themselves and things get jumbled. I was so surprised that my son got the counting idea so quickly. In many instances I only needed to count to 1. But it does require reinforcement. So slacking off on being consistent sets you back. Consistency is the key and this book keeps me there.
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Summary: 123 Magic
Review: Excellent and easy to read. Easy to implement for parents and teachers. Great system!
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Summary: I think it's working!
Review: My husband and I started this program a few weeks ago to help control our 4-year-old son. Oh, he put up some (okay, a lot!) of resistance at first. Luckily, Phelan deals with this in his book so I knew what to expect. As the days go by I notice that my son is less physically aggressive and more agreeable. I think he's realizing that he is not the boss in this house but we, his parents, are. The truth is hard to take, even as a preschooler! Phelan's strategies are common sense and easy to initiate. The book is written in a very easy-to-read style that makes reading (and re-reading) quick.
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Summary: Wonderful
Review: This is the best discipline book! I've started it with my 2 year old and it works so well. We're both happier and she finally listens to her Dad now. The book is so quick to read and you can put it to work at once.
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