Parenting With Love and Logic : Teaching Children Responsibility

Rating:
Summary: Neither love nor logic
Review: The general approach of using natural consequences to teach children responsibility is a good one, but must be tempered by common sense. As others here have noted, I found some of the applications of natural consequences taken to extremes that were both abusive and dangerous. Also the tone of this entire book is that of using manipulative and often mean-spirited tricks to control children without working to develop a deep understanding of the real "why" for doing things a particular way. The comparisons to dog training (Basic German Shepherd) are particularly appalling. Likewise, spanking has been shown to be ineffective as a disciplinary method, since the main thing that it teaches kids is that overpowering and hitting people is an acceptable way to solve conflicts. Although discipline must initially be about controlling children's behavior (so that they are safe), it should ultimately be much more about teaching them to internalize the "why" of societal rules, so that they can develop into empathetic, kind, thoughtful adults.

For a much more balanced view, try instead: "The Preschool Years" by Ellen Galinsky and Judy David


Rating:
Summary: My husband is actually reading a book!
Review: We have both been reading & has really helped us talk about how we can get on the same page as far as parenting. Less bickering between us about how to discipline kids.

Rating:
Summary: Overwhelmed with too much parenting information?
Review: Parenting doesn't have to be an ongoing and overwhelming struggle. You can raise remarkable children who are capable, confident, responsible, and compassionate. You can have a family that is connected and resilient. Parents are often overwhelmed with too little and then too much information. Parents worry that they are losing control over the influences on their children. They struggle to balance the demands of raising children in today's fast paced, high pressured times. Parents experience conflict over differences in parenting styles and pressure from the advice and expectations of others.

This book offers some great information. When you've found that information is often not enough, parent coaching can help.

Rating:
Summary: Choices!
Review: I haven't finished reading this book yet, but have already started implementing choices for my 10 year old daughter (it was recommended to me by her therapist). This morning, we again reminded our daughter that Christmas is soon, she has to allow time for mailing, and she really needs to get her Christmas projects/presents done. So today, I told her, you don't have to do them if you don't want to. I know it's stressing you out, you're not into it, it's taking away from your free time, you don't have to do it. I will just call everyone you're making presents for, tell them you're not exchanging gifts this year, and they don't have to get you a present, either. It's really your choice. It's okay with me whatever you decide.
Another example is her room. I asked her to clean it. I told her, if this is really upsetting you and you don't want to clean it, that's okay. I will take all the stuff you don't want to pick up and remove it from your room. You won't ever have to worry about it again. You won't have to clean it up. And this desk with all the stuff piled up on it? If you don't want to keep it cleaned off, I can remove it, too. You don't have to pick up your room if you don't want to. It's your choice.
I LOVE this choices thing!


Rating:
Summary: Turns a difficult kid into an easy kid
Review: Love and Logic makes it possible to stay calm and loving with a difficult child. I'm almost 50 yrs old and had no experience with children. I started doing foster care and I can't imagine what trouble I'd have been in without all the Love and Logic techniques. They work with defiance, and with tantrums, and with controlling manipulative behavior. They make it possible to enjoy being a mom, and the major benefit is the children can relax, be respectful, accept love, and have fun instead of miring themselves in adversarial control battles with me.

It does require a large amount of self-control, not taking offense at things, and being able to be loving when a kid is being very annoying, and being able to be sadly firm when the kid has gotten themselves in trouble and you would really love to rescue them instead of letting them learn.

The book by itself is good, but if complimented with listening to the many audio-tapes, is much better.

Rating:
Summary: Not for my family
Review: Parenting with love and Logic was extremely disappointing to me. I am in the process filling out adoption paperwork for a special needs child. the ideas of (as examples stated in this book) putting my child in the basement when they are having a tantrum and harming themselves, or of denying my child supper because he neglected to feed the cat by 5 PM (on the basis of "Mommy feeds 3 mouths. Since you didn't feed the cat, tonight those 3 mouths are Mommy, Daddy and the cat) are appalling. Many examples involved enlisting friends who would be willing to follow your children home after you put them out of the car, were willing to stay overnight at your home (after your child's waking you up in the middle of the night prompted you and your spouse to go to a hotel) or to hang around the store/mall waiting to see if your child would misbehave, so you could call them and have them take the child home. This book operates on the assumption that children are "Miniature Adults" and if that's your theory as well, perhaps this book will be of value to you.

Rating:
Summary: BUY THIS BOOK!!!
Review: I was introduced to "Love & Logic" at a professional development seminar for teachers. I started using the principles in my classroom and eliminated so many of the struggles. I decided to buy the parenting book (this book) for my sister when she gave birth to my nephew. I ended up reading the whole thing, too, and have implemented many suggestions when I babysit for her. My nephew, who is only 2-1/2, is now a master at making choices and understanding that he doesn't get to make all the choices. He recently wanted to buy lemonade and chocolate milk at the store. I told him he had to choose...no muss, no fuss, he chose and put the lemonade back in the cooler. He has been making choices for himself since before he could walk, and I fully believe that the empowerment this book, this system, brings to kids helps them make the really big, important choices later in life. I've used the principles in the classroom and with all my nieces and nephews. They feel like they have control and options while understanding that there are consequences for bad decisions. My husband and I are the favorite aunt and uncle...and we have fewer problems when watching the kids than anyone else. They're happy, we're happy. What more could you want? Do yourself and your child's future teachers a favor and BUY THIS BOOK! I've got my copy ready for my daughter on the way.

Rating:
Summary: It's like having a friend with advice at your fingertips!
Review: This book was a gift given to me by a professional in the field of child behavior. This book really does help me keep an open mind about my children and offers tools that help a parent cope with a problem instead of just blowing up. As parents we all have to decide how to handle each and every situation as each is different, but this book gives guidelines how to respond in alternate ways to a variety of problems encountered with children. My favorite is the "defiant" child chapter and let me tell you...the advice given there really does work with my kids! It's amazing.