Rating: 
Summary: Not for my family
Review: Parenting with love and Logic was extremely disappointing to me. I am in the process filling out adoption paperwork for a special needs child. the ideas of (as examples stated in this book) putting my child in the basement when they are having a tantrum and harming themselves, or of denying my child supper because he neglected to feed the cat by 5 PM (on the basis of "Mommy feeds 3 mouths. Since you didn't feed the cat, tonight those 3 mouths are Mommy, Daddy and the cat) are appalling. Many examples involved enlisting friends who would be willing to follow your children home after you put them out of the car, were willing to stay overnight at your home (after your child's waking you up in the middle of the night prompted you and your spouse to go to a hotel) or to hang around the store/mall waiting to see if your child would misbehave, so you could call them and have them take the child home. This book operates on the assumption that children are "Miniature Adults" and if that's your theory as well, perhaps this book will be of value to you.
Rating: 
Summary: Excellent common sense suggestions on positive discipline
Review: This book greatly improved our control struggles with both our 3 and 5 year old. The parenting pearls are step by step advice for specific hurdles we all encounter. I especially liked the idea of "natural consequences" for the CHILD'S choice.Love and discipline are both necessary to raise a happy, productive child.I loved the book however, I admit a few of the solutions seemed too manipulative for me although friends have tried them and they say they do work. Great commom sense for those of us parents who love our kids wholeheartedly but believe in parents being in control through allowing the world to enforce natural consequences.
Rating: 
Summary: The amazing power of choices, and other parenting tips
Review: Basically, this book is about how to create a positive learning environment for our children, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to be the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose. It also provides some great insight into how to create a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.My wife read this book first and I noticed an immediate change in how she reacted to our rather headstrong two-year old. Staying calm, and giving choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? This instead of the battle on whether or not she was going to bed. We find ourselves laughing at some of the absurd choices we come up with, and it's harder than it appears to consistently think this way. What is easy to see is that it works, and works well. Some of our biggest battles over dressing, or going to bed, or eating dinner have become much easier and the "uh-oh" said calmly has stopped some poor behavior in its tracks! While we both embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, this book gave some great insights on how to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behaviors. I was not thrilled with the overall editing and layout of the book, as it jumped around a bit, and half-way through would say things like: This may not work for children under three! OK, this is information we could have used four chapters ago when the authors were making a point we were attempting to follow. That minor complaint notwithstanding, this is an excellent book and is highly recommended for all parents with young children.
Rating:
Summary: Love and Logic approach works for discerning parents
Review: This approach to parenting children is very effective for the parent who has the experiences and/or intelligence to gain control over their own emotions. The principles found in the Love and Logic series are excellent for raising responsible children in an irresponsible society. The promotion of spanking as a technique has been reversed by the Love and Logic Institute since this book was written - and that is good. The pearls offer practical interventions to common parenting challenges. However, if you are a parent who does not have the time or ability to think and fit the discipline to the personality of your child - this book could frustrate you. Many parents are looking for a script to follow throughout the life of their child. This text gives examples of principles to use. I am a marriage and family psychologist and recommend this book often. It is a great resource for most parents.
Rating:
Summary: Humane and realistic parenting with lots of love!
Review: I have been reading parenting books for years. I read this book completely. As the adult child of an alcohol and drug councilor with 3 young children, I have taken great interest in therapy and communication techniques. I don't generally offer my opinion in reviews but I felt that this book should receive the credit that it is due. The focus of this book is to help your child to eventually become an unusually functional and mentally healthy adult. It makes a humorous, but truthful analogy of the learning patterns of very young (2 and under) children to that of dogs. It explains why, unlike a dog, children must begin to think for themselves and how to help them do that. It recognizes that some parents use corporal punishment, explains why this is sometimes effective and how to use it to the least detriment of the child, but over all discourages it and offers alternative methods of discipline. The book teaches how parents can assist instead of disrupting the child's natural process of learning. Permit a child the consequences of their own mistakes when they are young and they will learn not to make big, life changing mistakes when they are adults. Become a friend and respected confidant to your child whose opinion he respects. There are excellent, real life accounts of how to apply the techniques. Most teachers will recognize the authors names. The authors are well known and highly acclaimed in the educational field and have raised responsible, successful children themselves.
Rating:
Summary: POWER STRUGGLES FROM ONE GENERATION TO THE NEXT
Review: I strongly recommend this parenting approach and book for anyone seeking to find help with one or more children with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling growing up relationship issues. Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender. And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Addicted to Unhappiness: Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work and the life you want by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper
Rating:
Summary: One star short of perfection....
Review: Every chapter in the book starts with a scripture in Proverbs. The author's insight into parenting issues is likely inspired by God and yet they turn away from one of the main training tools for rebellious behavior supported by Scripture. This tool is chastisement or spanking. (Please note that I am not talking about spanking for all disruptive or maladaptive behavior but behavior that manifests itself as rebellion). The author's allege that "empathy and logical consequences are more powerful than spanking, because they teach problem solving skills." I disagree with this quote. I would say that chastisement with empathy and logical consequences results in repentance and problem solving skills. My point is chastisement (spanking) done in love and in a logical way aligns with the Word of God. This change in position reflects a postmodern view of parenting that is contrary to scripture and probably accounts for the relatively inexplicable growth of these excellent techniques in today's society. The author's state that one of the reasons they changed their position on spanking (chastisement) is because spanking fails to teach the behaviors we want. This position implies that spanking is a teaching tool. Spanking is not a teaching tool. Spanking is a punishment. Teaching is done through the use of empathy and logical consequences. This position is disingenuous. The third point the author's make is that "most kids would rather receive a spanking than have to think about their poor choice." This statement is so sad. As was noted previously, spanking should not be used as a teaching tool as spanking is a punishment. Teaching occurs through the use of empathy and consequences as is masterfully explained in the book. Nevertheless, a spanking does not inhibit a child from thinking about poor choices. In fact, once repentance is demonstrated a child will logically begin to think, "how will this next decision affect me?" The fourth point regarding the efficacy of spanking is double sad. They note "that more recent research tells us that spanking has many negative side effects, such as anger, resentment, revenge, etc." Of course, not even a single research article is cited to support this claim. In fact, a recent article by, June 2002, entitled "A Comparison of Two Recent Reviews of Scientific Studies of Physical Punishment by Parents" contradicts the aforementioned claim and shows that "detrimental child outcomes are associated with the frequency of any disciplinary tactic, not just physical punishment. Therefore, it is the excessive misbehavior that is the actual cause of detrimental outcomes in children." In summary, current research suggests that any technique used to correct children has negative side effects and that misbehavior is the cause of a child's negative responses to discipline. The tenet of this article is children negatively perceive any form of consequence for misbehavior. Wow, what a surprise!
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Summary: BUY THIS BOOK!!!
Review: I was introduced to "Love & Logic" at a professional development seminar for teachers. I started using the principles in my classroom and eliminated so many of the struggles. I decided to buy the parenting book (this book) for my sister when she gave birth to my nephew. I ended up reading the whole thing, too, and have implemented many suggestions when I babysit for her. My nephew, who is only 2-1/2, is now a master at making choices and understanding that he doesn't get to make all the choices. He recently wanted to buy lemonade and chocolate milk at the store. I told him he had to choose...no muss, no fuss, he chose and put the lemonade back in the cooler. He has been making choices for himself since before he could walk, and I fully believe that the empowerment this book, this system, brings to kids helps them make the really big, important choices later in life. I've used the principles in the classroom and with all my nieces and nephews. They feel like they have control and options while understanding that there are consequences for bad decisions. My husband and I are the favorite aunt and uncle...and we have fewer problems when watching the kids than anyone else. They're happy, we're happy. What more could you want? Do yourself and your child's future teachers a favor and BUY THIS BOOK! I've got my copy ready for my daughter on the way.
Rating:
Summary: It's like having a friend with advice at your fingertips!
Review: This book was a gift given to me by a professional in the field of child behavior. This book really does help me keep an open mind about my children and offers tools that help a parent cope with a problem instead of just blowing up. As parents we all have to decide how to handle each and every situation as each is different, but this book gives guidelines how to respond in alternate ways to a variety of problems encountered with children. My favorite is the "defiant" child chapter and let me tell you...the advice given there really does work with my kids! It's amazing.
Rating:
Summary: Many Workable Solutions for Raising Good Kids
Review: Jim Fay believes that we must teach our children HOW to think, not just WHAT to think. I am a very "over-protective mom" and reading his book has encouraged me to stop making so many choices for my children. I am now better able to allow my child to fail and take ownership of the consequence that follows his actions without feeling so much guilt myself. Kids can definitely learn from their mistakes without losing their self-esteem. Although I do not agree nor use every strategy in this book (like "The German Shepard Technique"), I feel the Love and Logic philosophy has contributed positive change in the way we communicate with our children as well as to the degree of compliance we get from them. We like this book because there are many specific suggestions in the real life annecdotes demonstrating the exact words to try. We also recommend another book with quick-read suggestions for parents of 2, 3, 4, and 5-year-olds called 'The Pocket Parent.' This book is not written in paragraphs, but rather hundreds of short bullets of practical information. The philosophies of both authors are very similar--offering many sanity saving alternatives to yelling, bribing, threatening, critizing, and nagging that we often resort to at our wits' end.. Both books are helpful, humorous and worth keeping handy for when you need some quick advice or just some empathy on one of those really bad days when you think you are about to lose your mind!
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