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Summary: Blows all other parenting methods out of the water!
Review: My husband and I have been introduced to this book through a parenting class offered at our church. It was not something that I sought for but I had prayed for. After seeing how our two year old was slowly taking control of our family, I knew that we had to do something fast. After many long days and lots of praying for help, God led us to this book from Ted Tripp. Noone can argue the principles offered in this book since they are based on scripture and you can't argue with God's word. I have read many parenting books but this one has made me a better child of God as I have also seen my daughter become a better child of God. I highly recommend this book to all who want God involved in child rearing, since it is not something acheivable on our own.
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Summary: Child Abuse for Dummies
Review: I picked this up in a bookstore and almost stood there reading the whole thing with my lower jaw touching the floor. Utilizing a 19th century view of children as innately evil and insubordinate, Mr. Tripp proffers biblical verse to justify corporal punishment as a means to turn them into obedient automatons. Worse yet, this book outlines methods to hide abuse from dissenting family members and community authorities. It serves as nothing more than further evidence of the destructive and dysfunctional nature of the Christian belief system. Period.
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Summary: I found the book to be insulting and dangerous
Review: The author makes himself out as an expert, with *his interpretation* of scripture being THE way to parent. Those who are able to think for themselves and who are able to study scripture for themselves, may find that the "truth" in how to parent is not the same as the script Tripp presents. The author seems to think that one must parent according to *his* recipe... even down to baring a child so that when a parent hits (spanks) their child, it will hurt more. It is disturbing to think that well-meaning and loving parents might buy into his scare tactics - his way is not THE Biblical way, but merely his own thoughts. While we all believe that the heart of a child matters, the way to a child's heart should be through compassion, love, tenderness... not through authoritarianism, egocentric parenting, or violence. There are much better Christian parenting books out there... Dr. Sears, for example, is absolutely wonderful. Sears puts to shame such self-proclaimed experts as Tripp.
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Summary: Also available in Spanish
Review: CÓMO PASTOREAR EL CORAZÓN DE SU HIJO es acerca de cómo hablarle al corazón de su hijo. Las cosas que su hijo dice y hace fluyen del corazón. Lucas 6:45 lo pone así: "... de la abundancia del corazón habla la boca". Escrito para padres con hijos
de cualquier edad, este libro iluminador provee perspectivas y procedimientos para pastorear el corazón de su hijo por las etapas de la vida.
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Summary: This is one star short of being perfect
Review: I truly love this book & I think it's probably the best parenting book I've ever read, HOWEVER there are 2 things Ted Tripp mentions that I wholeheartedly disagree with. First of all, he claims that God COMMANDS us to spank our children (page 153), which he gets from Proverbs. I don't know about you, but nowhere in my Bible does it say that Proverbs are commands. Proverbs is a book of wisdom & "recommended applications" on how to live a godly life. I do believe that there are consequences to misbehavior (including in my own life!), but that does not always mean a spanking is in order. Sometimes time out works. Or taking away privileges.The other thing I disagree with is that he recommends spanking for EVERY act of disobedience. I think grace MUST be applied every once in a while. After all, I know God gives me ABUNDANT GRACE when I misbehave! As I mentioned earlier, I think 95% of this book is right on target. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that my husband & I are going to start leading a small group on it. But after reading the above issues, I spent LOTS of time on my knees in prayer & time researching this before I knew how I felt. Bottom line is....NO ONE has the right answers for your own parenting. God has given YOU your children, not someone else. You have to parent the way God calls you to in your own heart, and I thank Him for doing just that every single day...because I sure need His guidance everyday!
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Summary: One-Stop Resource for Parenting
Review: As a pastor and a father, it's nearly impossible to think of a single book I can recommend wholeheartedly on any topic in Christian living, let alone the tough job of parenting. However, this one book (along with his brother's book for raising teenagers, Age of Opportunity, by Paul Tripp) is a rare exception. I can trust that when I recommend this book to parents, I will not have to return later and correct aspects which are not biblical. Ted Tripp's book is by far the most consistently biblical approach to parenting out there in a single volume. You cannot go wrong reading this book and applying it to your family's life. Many families in our church have been turned around because of this book. Years of pop psychology seeping into the Church are whisked away with a refreshing return to biblical norms for raising children. The price is right and the book is easy to read. You have all the world to gain! Soli Deo Gloria!
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Summary: Outstanding Book!
Review: This is a book that treats the topic of parenting biblically. Instead of focusing on child behavior as many books do, this book promotes the radical notion that God is far more interested in our children's heart responses! The authors' high view of scripture as the basis for parenting and training our children is a breath of fresh air.
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Summary: A landmark book
Review: Book Review: Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1995 Review by Phyllis Wheeler Train up a child in the way he should go, says the Bible. But exactly how do you do that? This book helps answer that question. It is a landmark book I wish I had read when my triplet boys were three or four years old. (Now they are nearly nine.) It's also a book I need to re-read every few years. Now that our kids are not toddlers, I expect them to be developing beyond a small child's self-centered view of the world. I expect them to help others in big and small ways. But just asking for these behaviors doesn't produce them. Even offering rewards for these behaviors bears little fruit. Worst of all, one of the boys thinks I am being arbitrary. He doesn't see any need at all to move from self-centeredness. In this book, Tedd Tripp says I first need to evaluate the nature of the struggle going on inside him. I need to listen to him talk about what he is feeling. Then I can help him to understand what God's standard is and teach him to measure his behavior against that standard. A parent's most important task, says Tripp, is teaching their children to assess themselves as sinners. Then they can see their need for grace and for the cross of Christ. Typically, we Christian parents are more interested in shaping a child's behavior, figuring the heart will fall in line somehow. Usually we mete out a punishment and then move on. But here's a thought: In doing this, we may actually be pointing them toward a set of keepable standards that leads to self-reliance. Oops! Tripp encourages parents to actively shepherd the child's heart, pointing it toward God. If the parent doesn't pay specific care and attention to this task as outlined in the Bible, the child may well end up worshipping the creation instead of the Creator. "Either he grows to love and trust the living God, or he turns more fully to various forms of idolatry and self-reliance," says Tripp. This book makes this very useful point: when disciplining a child, the parent isn't finished until the child repents. Godly discipline turns the child's heart toward God. If little Johnny is pouting in his chair in the corner, his heart is in danger. Now, that's something to think about. Does he have the heart of a fool or of a wise man, in the words of Proverbs? And Proverbs warns us that the fool is in grave danger. So, how exactly does a parent address this? Specifically, Tripp says we must tie our corrections to principles in the Word of God. We must ask questions and listen to answers until we know what is going on in his heart. We must remind the child that his sinful behavior offends God, quoting chapter and verse if necessary. Then he must remain under discipline until we are satisfied that his heart is turned toward God. (For the parent, getting angry isn't part of this. We should not allow unholy anger to cloud the situation, and when that happens we must ask the child to forgive us. Showing that we too can't keep the standards, and that we repent, is a vital part of shepherding.) I can shepherd the heart not only during times of discipline, but through daily study. Tripp suggests reading together the Book of Proverbs. Biblical illiterate that I am, I was amazed to see that this is apparently what the Book of Proverbs was written for. It's full of all kinds of godly advice addressed to "my son." It lays out rules for living. It tells children to obey their parents in order to be safe. It offers us a choice between behaving like a moral fool and behaving with wisdom. It warns of terrible consequences. Using a children's translation, Proverbs is easy for our children to understand. They can see that I am not arbitrarily pulling requirements out of my hat, but that it's from the Word of God. We can discuss instances when each of us, including me, did not measure up. In short, this book has shown me how to use the tools I have. It also contains a lot that I haven't summarized. I should mention his emphasis on spanking as the way to teach small children to obey. Even if you disagree with this, you will still get a LOT out of this book.
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Summary: Terrific parenting book
Review: This is one of the best books on parenting I've ever read. It goes beyond simple pop-pyschology and behavior modification to deal with character--both the child's and the parent's!
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Summary: Good theoretical content, but too much emphasis on spanking
Review: Tripp makes the very important point that we should focus on changing our children's hearts rather than just modifying their behavior, and he makes some very insightful arguments about how traditional methods of discipline fail today because they were never biblically based in the first place. Their purpose was force children to comply with their parents' wishes rather than to produce grace-filled children who freely serve God. I expected Tripp to focus a great deal on prayer, because only God can truly change hearts. No matter how well we discipline, children can still choose to rebel inwardly. Instead, he seems to imply that spanking can change hearts in some mystical way that other forms of discipline cannot. He cites numerous Bible passages that refer to "the rod" in childrearing, and concludes that this means that spanking is an act of obedience and faith. If we are to take the passages on "the rod" so literally, then it would seem that it would also be disobedient to use the hand to spank rather than a rod. Although biblical precepts are true and transcend cultural changes, I believe that the Bible is simply telling us to discipline our children effectively. In primitive societies this inevitably meant physical punishment. But in biblical times conflicts between nations also inevitably meant war. Does this mean that God wants nations to fight rather than to attempt other forms of conflict resolution? Physical force in childrearing and in foreign affairs was commonplace in biblical times. Now, on the other hand, our culture has changed, and spanking may no longer be the necessary evil that it once was. We can still obey God by praying for our children, loving them, and disciplining them by letting the punishment fit the crime, just as God (and the world) disciplines us.
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