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Summary: A Great Resource for All Parents
Review: I picked up this book, hoping that it would help me with one of my children, who I believed to be "spirited." Kurcinka includes an evaluation to determine whether or not your child is, based on a series of different segments of their personality (i.e. sensitivity, adaptability, etc.) Based on the evaluation, my daughter is not spirited, but spunky (somewhat less challenging, shall we say). That does not mean that this book isn't a great resource for me. Kurcinka discusses a multitude of different behavior problems and gives helpful suggestions for each personality type. Each chapter has a one page summary at the end, which proves to be a useful review after reading the book, when you need a refresher to deal with a particular situation. I know that I will turn to this book again and again for help with my child. Thank you Ms. Kurcinka
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Summary: Practically saved my sanity . . .
Review: When my oldest daughter was just a baby, we knew that she was a force to be reckoned with. She wasn't collicky - she was just overwhelmingly emotional at times. Among other things, we had a horrible time getting her to go to sleep and stay asleep (naptime AND at night). Sometimes (before she was old enough to talk) she would get upset and simply cry for an hour or more before we could help her calm down. I read books about attachment parenting and how to get children to sleep but the techniques simply didn't work for us and the whole thing left me feeling like a terrible mother. I felt horribly guilty (not to mention exhausted). At the point where I thought I couldn't last one more day, a friend recommended this book. At the risk of sounding overly emotional - I have to say that this book saved my sanity. Kurcinka understands that for certain kids, the standard techniques simply don't work. Some kids are so intense and strong-willed that you can't put them in a crib and let them "cry it out." This book helped me accept my daughter for who she is and to work with her instead of against her. This is a great book for parents of intense children but it's also a good book for parents of more mellow kids. Most parents will be able to see their kids in one or more of her categories and will get some good ideas on how to work with their children's temperaments.
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Summary: A WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN.
Review: As a counsellor, I prefer not to see children labeled as difficult, strong-willed, spirited, etc. In my opinion, special seems more appropriate, because each child is special but in his or her own unique way. Most children have at least one challenge to overcome in varying degrees, bedwetting, fear of the dark, hyper-activity, short attention span, etc. In this light, children may have unique "special" needs, but they are not made to feel segrated from others because all children are, indeed, special. If you are having difficulty with the temperment of your child, you will find this book contains some very accurate and helpful solutions in dealing with issues such as sleeping habits and social interaction. The section dealing with problems in the school setting is particular helpful. The book is thorough, clearly understood and will give parents a better understanding of the needs of their "special" child. Any improvement will be beneficial to both the child and the parent and, hopefully, mean fewer sleepless nights.
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Summary: This author knows our children
Review: I loved the way this author was able to describe my challenging child in such a positive reframing. She provided ideas that helped me parent my 7 year old daughter better on a day-to-day basis.
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Summary: Well presented with some good tips
Review: This book is very infomative on the needs and subtle differences you need to be aware of when dealing with spirited children. It mostly focuses on the child and how to adapt to make situations easier. I believe it is important to use positive lables but this alone will not change entrenched automatic behavior. With our spirited child setting clear liimits and enabling him to adapt and grow was what made the biggest difference. It was hard work but our child is now much happier and confident as a result. A good book on disciplin and limit setting is needed as a companion to the spirited child. I highly recomend reading "Ain't Misbehavin" and then read "The Manipulative Child". These books show where the parent needs to make changes and how the child must learn to adapt. Walkin on egg shells and allowing the child to operte in his/her "preferred style" can escalate and reinforce unwanted behaviors. I read "Raising your spirited child" after we had corrected our childs behavior and found it useful and helpful but not a solution on its own.
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Summary: Thank God for Mary Sheedy Kurcinka!
Review: That's what I said when I sat down in the bookstore and read the intro to this wonderful book that is now my parenting Bible. I couldn't believe my intense RELIEF at being understood--after just a few pages! It's like this woman had been listening in on our baby monitor. The patterns, the reactions, the frustration, and the intense desire to learn how to raise my daughter lovingly in a harmonious (nonreactive) household were all there, along with the reassurance that we could achieve that goal and no, we weren't bad or crazy parents. My daughter's pediatrician, the mother of another spirited kid, recommended this book when I asked her what was wrong with me as a mother. "Is it the Terrible Twos or just me?" I asked in anguish. My doctor and the author both assured me it was my wonderful, spirited daughter! I am so grateful to understand her better and to have so many effective tools to raise her lovingly, guiding her gently but consistently so she can find ways to understand, avoid and, if needed, temper her own strong reactions to the triggers that set her off. Most importantly, this book does a great job teaching you to see your child's traits as precious assets to be celebrated. Of course you want to feel that way about someone you love so much! This book is slowly but surely making our family life more peaceful (and less loud!). Most of all, I have much more energy for raising her (evidently I will need it) and MUCH more patience now that I understand where she is coming from. Raising a spirited kid is tough work, the author assures us, and just reading that from someone who knows is comforting. That's the best part of the book for me: I no longer feel like a failure as a parent because she is MORE intense, sensitive, persistent, and perceptive. I'm also no longer bothered by other people who don't understand that what works for other kids won't work for my daughter. I now have the confidence to manage and help her the way she needs to be helped, and to teach her how to get her needs met once she's out there in the big wide world. Lastly, let me mention that IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WITH SLEEPING PROBLEMS, READ THIS ONE FIRST! We have an entire shelf of books about how to get your toddler to sleep alone--NONE OF THAT STUFF WORKED AND MADE THE PROBLEM WORSE. I am slowly getting over the guilt of all those failed attempts to get her to bed that left her hysterical. Now I know why they didn't work and can do what works for her without having to justify it. Talk about relief! I highly recommend this book for any loving parent who just isn't getting anywhere with the "conventional wisdom" approach to (and literature on) parenting. Maybe your kid isn't conventional. Read this book now and you won't waste precious time that could be spent enjoying and parenting your child with love!!!
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Summary: Read this! You¿ll understand and like your child better!
Review: This book became my first parenting bible when I wasn't sure if I could make it through another day (let alone 16 more years!) with my child. What's different about it (besides the fact that this author knows your child isn't like most children!) are the explanations of how temperament affects children's reactions to situations and how changing what you say, or your reaction, expectations or schedule can have a dramatic effect on the child's behavior. She understands it's hard to like a child who seems mean and nasty and embarrasses you on a daily basis - and she doesn't make you feel guilty or inadequate because of it. I thought of my child's "difficulties" in a more positive way and could relate to him better after reading and applying the ideas in this book. The author's new book, "Kids, Parents, & Power Struggles" reviews a few highlights of this book and is loaded with ideas for improving communication and relationships based on a child's temperament and how to help the child communicate his thoughts, feelings and needs in a socially-acceptable way. One thing missing from her first book, which she covers in her 2nd one is a section on ADD/ADHD and other medical issues which could be contributing to the "spiritedness" of the child. Still missing, though, is the mention that food intolerances may negatively contribute to the behavior of the extremely spirited child (which was the case with our child). I strongly recommend both books to save your sanity and to improve the relationship with your child.
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Summary: best parenting book on market
Review: I have read tons of books for parenting difficult children. This is the first one I am rating even before finishing reading! I have a child who can be difficult, this book is the first that gives her a positive name, and teaches to value and work with her strong personality traits. I am begging my friends to buy this book, because I know a lots of kids with problems whose parents are clueless what to do. If you are a frustrated parent, especially of a younger child, I urge you to try this book. Don't give up on your child, learn to enjoy them in all their differences and help them enjoy being themselves!
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Summary: This book saved my relationship with my son!
Review: This book was a lifesaver for my husband and I. We have three sons, but our middle son was "different" than the rest. I was afraid there might be something wrong with him until I got this book. It showed me that I am not alone and that he is more wonderful and that is all! It has incredible tips for parents and can be used as a resource book as well!
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Summary: A wonderful book for EVERY parent!
Review: I just finished reading Mary Kurcinka's book and I found it an enormous relief. Her approach is so different from many other parenting books and yet she does address all the issues and difficulties directly and clearly. In contrast to the others, her approach is loving and understanding, which for me makes all the difference when dealing with children. Don't be fooled though, she will give you concrete tips and advice as how to handle EVERY possible situation and she went far beyond the point where those clinically, matter-of-fact books stop and leave you in the dark. This author did a wonderful job. When reading her book, you will not only learn about your child, her temperament and her struggles, but you will also learn a great deal about yourself! Highly recommended!!
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