What to Expect the Toddler Years

Rating:
Summary: A good, practical guide -- gives all the basics
Review: If you want to...have a handy reference around for when you've got a question about your kids, this book (and the other title, "What to Expect the First Year"), are solid, well-balanced guides. The information is presented in such a way so that it does not preach, and parents can use their common sense as to how to apply the advice to their situation. As a first time parent, I thought it was nice to have around, and is a lot easier than having to call the pediatrician -- or, worse yet, friends or relatives -- every time you've got a question. With this book, you get the basics and can decide for yourself what to do next without wading through all the guilt or nonsense of everyone else's opinions. Cuts down on the conversations that start, "Well, with *my* kids, I always thought it was best if ..."

Rating:
Summary: Very Helpful
Review: I initially didn't buy this book based on the reviews. But, after I read a little bit of it at the bookstore - I had to get it. I found several of its topics VERY helpful. YES, some things in the book seem like common sense, but with a first child and lack of sleep and so much information out there, it's nice to get a quick, concise OPINION based on the information the authors have. We do not use this book as a bible for raising our child, but we do get some great ideas from it. We have really enjoyed having this book on hand, just as a quick second opinion when it's not something important enough to call the pediatrician. Most of our friends have older children or no children so it's handy to have in the house. We enjoyed the previous two books and have found this one just as helpful.

Rating:
Summary: medical errors
Review: The authors are totally irresponsible to state that there are no benefits to breastfeeding past one year. There are a multitude of health benefits. In fact, the older the child, the more concentrated the immunities, antioxidants, etc. The Am. Ac. of Ped. recommends a bare minimum of one year, and after that, as long as the child and mother desire to do so, and the World Helath Org reecommends a bare minimum of 2 years. The human brain is not fully formed until age two, and thus, natural milk developed especially for humans is extremely important during this time.
Also, crying it out is not necessarily safe if it has to be used too often. There are dangers of brain re-wiring for extended periods of crying due to abandonment. Your sleep is not! more valuable than your child's security (unless you are so sleep-deprived that you endanger your child's physical or emotional health or welfare).
Besides these, book is useful.

Rating:
Summary: Very dissappointed
Review: I read What to Expect When Your Expecting Cover to Cover, and found a lot of great information and encouragement throughout my 3 trimesters.
I did not read What to Expect the First Year, but I just received the Toddler Years, and have only read the first 3 months. Already, I am severely dissappointed in the book's content. Most of it is common sense, information that most mother's should already know, or have easy access to. There is no encouragement to continue breastfeeding past 12 months, in fact it makes it sound like extended breastfeeding is a waste of time, causing nothing but independance problems. I have a 14 month old who I plan to nurse for another year, and I found it incredibly discouraging to read mostly negative comments in regards to extended nursing. I also notice that other forms of Attachment Parenting are not encouraged. I realize that this is a mainstream, cover-all-basis book, however, I think that it is incredibly biased and cold hearted. Any mother who believes in Attachment Parenting, but does not have much support will most likely give up on their insticts if they read this book. I am lucky to have other sources of support, and am strong enough to overlook the ignorance of many of the comments, but I feel it is incredibly important to share my thoughts with unsuspecting mamas.


Rating:
Summary: I have to
Review: I got to the part about breastfeeding, and stopped reading. I mean breastfeeding coming between my husband and I. Forestalling development of self comforting skills. Increase of ear infection. if you nurse beyond a year. I did not read any reviews on this book prior to buying and sort of wish I had. So personal I think the book is outdated. Would much rather read something along the lines of the Girlsfriends Guide to Toddlers or the Emotional Life of Toddlers. My daughter is still nursing at 20 months, and has recently moved from the family bed into her own bed. At he rown request. And I will contiune nursing until my daughterdecided otherwise. SO anything with such a negative attitude to nursing is sat on the shelf until it is resold on Ebay.

Rating:
Summary: Ok, but...
Review: I haven't fully digested this book, but have tried a few of the recipies from the "Best Odds Diet" and so far they have all been awful! The sweet potato wedges turn out poorly, and the little pumpkin muffins are almost inedible--health food run amok. I wouldn't recommend this if you're looking for specific advice for feeding your toddler.

Rating:
Summary: A Disappointment
Review: I really liked the other "What to Expect" books, and was 'expecting' to like this one, but I was disappointed. "What to Expect the First Year" is a far better book, with useful info about development and care of a baby. "What to Expect the Toddler Years" is more of a collection of common sense advice that hardly warrants the price tag. For example, one of the "questions" handled is: "is it okay to kiss our daughter on the lips?" The answer given is: "if you are comfortable with that, it's fine. If you're not, don't do it." Most of the book is like this. Another example: the authors advise readers that if they find their toddler sticking something dangerous in his nose or ear, they object should be taken away and the toddler told why they can't do that. Do people really need to be told this stuff? I found myself rolling my eyes at many of the Q & A topics in the book. The monthly guide of milestones of development that your toddler should be reaching each month is useful, but other than that, I found this book a waste of my time and money.

Rating:
Summary: Huge and Helpful---but Lacks an Easy Access Topic Format
Review:
My husband and I agree that the "What to Expect Toddler Years" belongs in every new parent's library along with the other 2 books in the series. They have truly been our "parenting bibles." There is a great deal of useful information in this comprehensive reference guide regarding 1's, 2's and 3's, and we especially like the detailed medical information that informs without alarming us. However, we are disappointed when we attempt to quickly look up insight and strategies to solve specific behavioral problems (like biting, whining and tantrums) that continue to pop up with our 2 and 3 year-old daughters. Since the chapter format is organized by months of age rather than by topics, we sometimes become frustrated searching for the suggestions we need at the moment because the subject is addressed in a number of places under multiple months of age. Additionally, when we do find all the information (often quite repetitive from month to month), we often want more depth and a greater variety tips to try for each misbehavior. However, we do realize that no one book can have it all-even one with over 900 pages. We also wish to recommend a pocket-sized toddler behavior guide by the same publisher called--"The Pocket Parent". It has hundreds of practical quick-read bulleted suggestions to every behavior concerns you can imagine organized in an A-Z format. "Pocket Parent" is exclusively written for parents of 2's, 3's, 4's, and 5's. This totally up-beat little book is a great companion for the more encyclopedic classic "What to Expect Toddlers". "The Pocket Parent" addresses alphabetically such common concerns as Bad Words, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, Biting, Gimmes, Lying, Morning Crazies, Separation Anxiety, Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums, and Whining. . Consider adding both books to your home library for quick reference when you're feeling worried or totally frazzled regarding the often challenging moments of the toddler years. Keep in mind that you as parents are the true experts of your children and filter through your personality and parenting style the information in these books and use what makes good sense for your particular family.

Rating:
Summary: Very Good, But Buyer Should Still Beware
Review: Set up in a Q & A format, the What to Expect parenting books are full of interesting questions, practical information and worthy advice. No first-time parent can afford to be without one.

Which is not to say these tomes are gospel. No, rather than divine inspiration, the ultimate wellspring of facts, ideas and opinions is purely human. And while the humans involved (Dr. Murkoff, et al) are qualified professionals and certainly very well-intentioned, they do not come to the readership without their prejudices and cultural agenda. And while we certainly cannot fault them for this, for we all have professional and personal biases, it is important to recognize that the biases are there and when these biases are engaged. Not always an easy task

One of these biases is the consistent (and probably unconscious) favoring of consumer culture. For example, the authors take the stance that toddlers and preschoolers should learn as early as possible to go to sleep on their own -- a perfectly valid philosophical stance. They go on to discourage parents from rocking, singing or otherwise cajoling little ones to sleep. So far, so good. If, however, you find yourself parent to a child who simply cannot get the hang of lulling himself to sleep, Murkoff encourages tapes, light displays and, in extreme cases, a product that attaches to the crib and simulates the sensations of a car ride.

Well, which is it? Should a child have to get herself to sleep or not? And if we allow that some kids develop this capacity later than others, why is it okay to use plastic gadgets from the store but not mom or dad's loving arms? In the long run, isn't the latter healthier? If not, an author should give scientific data supporting her position OR admit that the position is not scientific, but philosophical. Murkoff does neither.

(In at least one case, this pro-marketplace bias even defies reason and works against the health of children. In Toddler Years, Murkoff denounces the apple boycott of the late `80s, early `90s -- an indefensible position. What should the public do? Buy and feed their children apples they know to be tainted???)

And speaking of science, don't look for much in Murkoff's arguments concerning the vaccine controversy. Murkoff understandably takes the orthodox position on vaccines. Her disdain for those who raise concerns is a little harder to understand, but these days there are enough people with enough concerns that the issue can't be readily ignored and so Murkoff feels a need to address them.

However, instead of mustering data to defend the orthodox position, Murkoff stoops to ad hominem attacks against the dissenting minority. Considering last year's revelations that when combined, the mercury level in childhood vaccines did indeed exceed safety standards (safety standards for adults, to boot), it behooves every professional to be professional in her thinking and method when arguing for one side or the other.

(NOTE: parents should check with their pediatricians to see whether thimerisol and other mercury additives are present in the vaccines used in his/her practice, and to what level.)

These are not petty criticisms. They are important tools for understanding Murkoff and the non-scientific aspects of her advice. Readers need to be aware of any expert's bias so as to separate fact from opinion. There is so much in What to Expect that is wonderful and useful, but parents still need to make philosophical decisions based on what's best for their families. Knowing where Murkoff is coming from helps us to sift out those ideas which will not work for everybody and judge them against our own individual needs and beliefs.