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The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (3rd edition)

The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (3rd edition)

List Price: $16.95
Your Price: $11.53
Product Info Reviews

<< 1 2 >>

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Informative
Review: "The Hurried Child"by David Elkind gives concrete examples of some of the emotional,intellectual and social consequences of hurrying a child's development by both parent and teachers. Children today are under an enormous amount of pressure to act, dress and assume adult roles and responsibilities. This hurrying causes stress in very young children as well as adolescents. I think the book addresses a lot of issues that have negative impact on all children. I learned a great deal about what constitutes hurrying in young children. The author brings forth the fact that hurrying takes place in both the home and school settings. Children are pushed to read earlier than they are developmentally ready; do math and behave in ways that most theorists like Erikson and Piaget have shown to be in direct conflict with children's cognitive and emotional development. The book was excellent in demonstrating the impact of outside influences such as T.V, movies,records and the media on children's development. The achievements and limitations of the major stages of development were long recognised by Piaget on cognitive development and by Erikson on emotional development. The book emphasized that when children's needs become subordinate to parental needs their emotional as well as cognitive growth is affected. I recommend that anyone who gets a chance to read this book does so, especially parents and educators of young children.

Agnes.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Informative
Review: "The Hurried Child"by David Elkind gives concrete examples of some of the emotional,intellectual and social consequences of hurrying a child's development by both parent and teachers. Children today are under an enormous amount of pressure to act, dress and assume adult roles and responsibilities. This hurrying causes stress in very young children as well as adolescents. I think the book addresses a lot of issues that have negative impact on all children. I learned a great deal about what constitutes hurrying in young children. The author brings forth the fact that hurrying takes place in both the home and school settings. Children are pushed to read earlier than they are developmentally ready; do math and behave in ways that most theorists like Erikson and Piaget have shown to be in direct conflict with children's cognitive and emotional development. The book was excellent in demonstrating the impact of outside influences such as T.V, movies,records and the media on children's development. The achievements and limitations of the major stages of development were long recognised by Piaget on cognitive development and by Erikson on emotional development. The book emphasized that when children's needs become subordinate to parental needs their emotional as well as cognitive growth is affected. I recommend that anyone who gets a chance to read this book does so, especially parents and educators of young children.

Agnes.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Classic Case for Untouched Societal Issue
Review: Always can't wait to be something we aren't now. Remember grade school? Couldn't wait for junior high? Then, once there, couldn't wait for High School? Then College? Then the real world, and all that brings, own house, car, etc.

Those that have been through this now know on the other side how it's not all that it's cut out to be. However, the problem truly is that today this coveting to grow up faster is much accelerated from previous generations.

Our liberal, sensuous, consumer based culture has pushed this down to the grade schools. The picture to me tells it all, the small girl who trys to look like twenty.

Eland helps by giving the data and analyzing it as well as suggesting ways we all can contribute to letting our kids be kids for as long as we can.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Classic Case for Untouched Societal Issue
Review: Always can't wait to be something we aren't now. Remember grade school? Couldn't wait for junior high? Then, once there, couldn't wait for High School? Then College? Then the real world, and all that brings, own house, car, etc.

Those that have been through this now know on the other side how it's not all that it's cut out to be. However, the problem truly is that today this coveting to grow up faster is much accelerated from previous generations.

Our liberal, sensuous, consumer based culture has pushed this down to the grade schools. The picture to me tells it all, the small girl who trys to look like twenty.

Eland helps by giving the data and analyzing it as well as suggesting ways we all can contribute to letting our kids be kids for as long as we can.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: If you thought childhood was only fun and games ...
Review: Dr Elkind has done significant research in the field of child psychology. While some of his research has been the subject of criticism, "The Hurried Child" makes some vary valid points. With his insite, it is difficult to pin-point when childhood is carefree.

In a society the is influenced by the whims of the business world, the working class is easily influenced. Business wants better works that produce at a higher, more profitable rate. Their solution is to put pressure of the educational system. This brings issues of accountability into school. Rather than teacher kids how to think, schools have to focus their curriculum around pass a standardized test to continue to receive funding. In some cases, the standardized tests start before first grade. This is just a sample of te pressure children have to perform. It is no wonder so many kids are seeing terapists who perscribe medicine to keep them from going crazy.

Elkind presents various other forms of stressors on children and discusses why the stress is unnecessary. If something is not done to reverse the trend toward increased stress in our children, it will only get worse. One must realize that generations have turned out ok before the trends toward accountability. Without this movement, we are likely to continue to be ok.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: If you thought childhood was only fun and games ...
Review: Dr Elkind has done significant research in the field of child psychology. While some of his research has been the subject of criticism, "The Hurried Child" makes some vary valid points. With his insite, it is difficult to pin-point when childhood is carefree.

In a society the is influenced by the whims of the business world, the working class is easily influenced. Business wants better works that produce at a higher, more profitable rate. Their solution is to put pressure of the educational system. This brings issues of accountability into school. Rather than teacher kids how to think, schools have to focus their curriculum around pass a standardized test to continue to receive funding. In some cases, the standardized tests start before first grade. This is just a sample of te pressure children have to perform. It is no wonder so many kids are seeing terapists who perscribe medicine to keep them from going crazy.

Elkind presents various other forms of stressors on children and discusses why the stress is unnecessary. If something is not done to reverse the trend toward increased stress in our children, it will only get worse. One must realize that generations have turned out ok before the trends toward accountability. Without this movement, we are likely to continue to be ok.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Enough denial
Review: Enough denial

Dr. Elkind is a veteran of decades in child psychology. As such, he’s surely seen the harsh realities modern adults perpetrate on their kids: the explosions in divorce, drug abuse, criminal behavior, imprisonment, and instability among older grownups once thought immune to these problems. Consider these shocking changes: in 1970, a 40 year-old parent was only one-sixth as likely to be arrested for a felony as his/her 14 year-old teen; today, the teen is more likely to be visiting dad or mom in jail. No generation of teens has ever suffered the kind of hard-drug addiction, family chaos, and adult disarray that modern youth routinely face.

Yet, Dr. Elkind has remained steadfastly oblivious. Adults are fine, he insists; just a bit overworked and too trusting. The big problem, he soothes, is that we tragically misjudged how “incompetent” children and teenagers are and “hurried” them into premature adulthood while neglecting the evil influences of pop culture, the media, and peers.

Well, someone should call an end to this charade, which is not Dr. Elkind’s alone, but a general American delusion. I only wish the kids I worked with in their families for 15 years, and the statistics I studied upon returning to graduate school, confirmed that the problem is as simple as Dr. Elkind depicts. But it isn’t.

First, the kids are fine; it’s the adults who have gotten worse. Teens (despite their bad publicity) have proven admirably competent in assuming responsibilities at younger ages, which modern family instability (not pop culture) forced on them. Dr. Elkind (quoting secondhand sources he apparently never checked) claims in his 1998 and 2001 books that teenage suicide and murder have tripled in 20 years, that “more than 5,000 teens adolescents take their own lives every year,” that “substance abuse has become epidemic,” rising numbers of children commit “adult crimes (theft, robbery, murder),” that U.S. teens suffer the highest pregnancy rates of any industrial nation, and that “children in contemporary America, including advantaged children, are less well off than they were a couple of decades ago.”

All of these statements are demonstrably false except the teen pregnancy claim, and that was more true in the 1950s than today. In fact:

- The latest FBI statistics have shown for several years that teenage felony, violence, murder, and other crime have fallen to their lowest levels in 25 to 30 years. In states that keep detailed records, it is clear that the temporary surge in teenage murder in the early 1990s affected only poorer youth, nearly all connected to gang conflict over supplying hard drugs to aging Baby-Boom addicts. Meanwhile, suburban and other “advantaged” youth are safer from violence and murder than at any time in decades.

- Teenage murder is a factor of poverty, not culture (and not race). Black youth suffer murder rates 20 times higher than white youth, and poorer white youth (ie, in Oklahoma) have murder rates seven times higher than more affluent white youth (ie, in Minnesota).

- Teenage property crime (burglary, theft, motor vehicle theft, arson) levels are at their lowest level in 30 years, as are felony rates in general. - Particularly among younger kids (12 and younger), FBI statistics show murder arrests are at their lowest level in 1999 than at any time since data were first collected nearly 40 years ago.

- Never, in nearly 100 years of U.S. mortality reports, have younger teenagers been safer from violent death than they are today.

- The latest National Center for Health Statistics show 1,900 adolescents (under age 20) committed suicide in the most recent year, far below the “more than 5,000” Dr. Elkind quotes. Why on earth would he exaggerate teen suicide 250% and make it appear more normative?

- Teen pregnancy rates are at their lowest level in 30 years (and birth rates at their lowest level since the 1940s). The U.S. rate is not due to teenage incompetence or pop culture, but poverty. U.S. teens who enjoy poverty rates as low as Western Europe’s (i.e., suburban teens) have birth and abortion rates as low as Europe’s; U.S. teens who suffer high rates of poverty have birth and abortion rates five to 20 times higher. How much longer are American authorities going to deny this?

But false claims that today’s kids are uniquely messed up apparently are what modern adults want to hear. The unpalatable facts are that among adults ages 30-60 (the ones parenting teenagers) in the past 30 years, divorce rates doubled, drug abuse rose 400%, felony arrests doubled, imprisonments rose 300%, and an unquantifiable selfishness relegated childraising and children’s welfare far below adult needs. Anyone who doubts these trends is encouraged to consult your state crime, drug abuse, and prison agency reports.

Instead of facing these troubling adult trends, a massive denial prevails, one insisting our kids and their “acting out” is what plagues the nation. In reality, we don’t know why kids got better as adults got worse, but surely that’s an intriguing question for psychologists and other experts to put aside their popular cliches and ponder. Dr. Elkind could do a tremendous favor by abandoning his specious claims that teenagers are incompetent and rushed into precocity by cultural influences. Youths

themselves don’t have the luxury to evade adult-imposed poverty, domestic violence, and parental addiction and disarray, so why should we let Ph.D.s get away with denial?

...

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Enough denial
Review: Enough denial

Dr. Elkind is a veteran of decades in child psychology. As such, he’s surely seen the harsh realities modern adults perpetrate on their kids: the explosions in divorce, drug abuse, criminal behavior, imprisonment, and instability among older grownups once thought immune to these problems. Consider these shocking changes: in 1970, a 40 year-old parent was only one-sixth as likely to be arrested for a felony as his/her 14 year-old teen; today, the teen is more likely to be visiting dad or mom in jail. No generation of teens has ever suffered the kind of hard-drug addiction, family chaos, and adult disarray that modern youth routinely face.

Yet, Dr. Elkind has remained steadfastly oblivious. Adults are fine, he insists; just a bit overworked and too trusting. The big problem, he soothes, is that we tragically misjudged how “incompetent” children and teenagers are and “hurried” them into premature adulthood while neglecting the evil influences of pop culture, the media, and peers.

Well, someone should call an end to this charade, which is not Dr. Elkind’s alone, but a general American delusion. I only wish the kids I worked with in their families for 15 years, and the statistics I studied upon returning to graduate school, confirmed that the problem is as simple as Dr. Elkind depicts. But it isn’t.

First, the kids are fine; it’s the adults who have gotten worse. Teens (despite their bad publicity) have proven admirably competent in assuming responsibilities at younger ages, which modern family instability (not pop culture) forced on them. Dr. Elkind (quoting secondhand sources he apparently never checked) claims in his 1998 and 2001 books that teenage suicide and murder have tripled in 20 years, that “more than 5,000 teens adolescents take their own lives every year,” that “substance abuse has become epidemic,” rising numbers of children commit “adult crimes (theft, robbery, murder),” that U.S. teens suffer the highest pregnancy rates of any industrial nation, and that “children in contemporary America, including advantaged children, are less well off than they were a couple of decades ago.”

All of these statements are demonstrably false except the teen pregnancy claim, and that was more true in the 1950s than today. In fact:

- The latest FBI statistics have shown for several years that teenage felony, violence, murder, and other crime have fallen to their lowest levels in 25 to 30 years. In states that keep detailed records, it is clear that the temporary surge in teenage murder in the early 1990s affected only poorer youth, nearly all connected to gang conflict over supplying hard drugs to aging Baby-Boom addicts. Meanwhile, suburban and other “advantaged” youth are safer from violence and murder than at any time in decades.

- Teenage murder is a factor of poverty, not culture (and not race). Black youth suffer murder rates 20 times higher than white youth, and poorer white youth (ie, in Oklahoma) have murder rates seven times higher than more affluent white youth (ie, in Minnesota).

- Teenage property crime (burglary, theft, motor vehicle theft, arson) levels are at their lowest level in 30 years, as are felony rates in general. - Particularly among younger kids (12 and younger), FBI statistics show murder arrests are at their lowest level in 1999 than at any time since data were first collected nearly 40 years ago.

- Never, in nearly 100 years of U.S. mortality reports, have younger teenagers been safer from violent death than they are today.

- The latest National Center for Health Statistics show 1,900 adolescents (under age 20) committed suicide in the most recent year, far below the “more than 5,000” Dr. Elkind quotes. Why on earth would he exaggerate teen suicide 250% and make it appear more normative?

- Teen pregnancy rates are at their lowest level in 30 years (and birth rates at their lowest level since the 1940s). The U.S. rate is not due to teenage incompetence or pop culture, but poverty. U.S. teens who enjoy poverty rates as low as Western Europe’s (i.e., suburban teens) have birth and abortion rates as low as Europe’s; U.S. teens who suffer high rates of poverty have birth and abortion rates five to 20 times higher. How much longer are American authorities going to deny this?

But false claims that today’s kids are uniquely messed up apparently are what modern adults want to hear. The unpalatable facts are that among adults ages 30-60 (the ones parenting teenagers) in the past 30 years, divorce rates doubled, drug abuse rose 400%, felony arrests doubled, imprisonments rose 300%, and an unquantifiable selfishness relegated childraising and children’s welfare far below adult needs. Anyone who doubts these trends is encouraged to consult your state crime, drug abuse, and prison agency reports.

Instead of facing these troubling adult trends, a massive denial prevails, one insisting our kids and their “acting out” is what plagues the nation. In reality, we don’t know why kids got better as adults got worse, but surely that’s an intriguing question for psychologists and other experts to put aside their popular cliches and ponder. Dr. Elkind could do a tremendous favor by abandoning his specious claims that teenagers are incompetent and rushed into precocity by cultural influences. Youths

themselves don’t have the luxury to evade adult-imposed poverty, domestic violence, and parental addiction and disarray, so why should we let Ph.D.s get away with denial?

...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good book; a little too easy on us parents!
Review: In The Hurried Child, Dr. Elkind does a competent job of describing a seriously problematic trend- the increasing inability and even unwillingness to appropriately "cushion" children from the modern world. The message is simple and eloquent: millions of children are simply not experiencing a proper childhood for a multitude of reasons. For some, it may be overcompetitive sports; for others, early sexuality or economic exploitation (children wielding more money and being strongly pursued as a consumer group). But regardless of form, hurrying leaves children trying to deal with adult concerns. While such kids may seem sophisticated, the deeper reality is that they are still children. This false maturation interferes with real maturation, and leads to problems in adolescence and adulthood.

Dr. Elkind gives this book more popular appeal by making his case gently- there are no "Dr. Laura" type challenges here. But if the reader will think through the implications of this book, it is clear that children are being "hurried" because parents aren't making the kinds of choices necessary for a fulfilling and protective family life. Instead, they pursue personal, material and status-oriented goods, very often to the detriment of the family. This is not because they don't care for their kids, but because our culture is so steeped in radical individualism and materialism that the very idea of what a family is supposed to be is lost. It is no surprise that the children suffer as a result, in terms of both emotional and character development.

I would propose a more profound solution than the "moderation" one to be found in this book. The cult of the individual needs to be overthrown. Parents should never make family-altering choices based solely on personal desires; the good of the children and the family unit as a whole should strongly influence what each member does. In addition, the excessive emphasis on "achieving independence" in childhood should be balanced with a recognition that all children need to be nurtured according to their stage of development. Children are not ready to be "individuals" in the adult sense of the term, which is why they are so easily influenced by peers, advertisers and celebrities. A strong, loving and non-hurrying family is a far more healthy source of influence than such factors. The more parents recognize and act upon these realities, the less kids will be "hurried", and the more they will be "trained up in the way they should go."

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good book; a little too easy on us parents!
Review: In The Hurried Child, Dr. Elkind does a competent job of describing a seriously problematic trend- the increasing inability and even unwillingness to appropriately "cushion" children from the modern world. The message is simple and eloquent: millions of children are simply not experiencing a proper childhood for a multitude of reasons. For some, it may be overcompetitive sports; for others, early sexuality or economic exploitation (children wielding more money and being strongly pursued as a consumer group). But regardless of form, hurrying leaves children trying to deal with adult concerns. While such kids may seem sophisticated, the deeper reality is that they are still children. This false maturation interferes with real maturation, and leads to problems in adolescence and adulthood.

Dr. Elkind gives this book more popular appeal by making his case gently- there are no "Dr. Laura" type challenges here. But if the reader will think through the implications of this book, it is clear that children are being "hurried" because parents aren't making the kinds of choices necessary for a fulfilling and protective family life. Instead, they pursue personal, material and status-oriented goods, very often to the detriment of the family. This is not because they don't care for their kids, but because our culture is so steeped in radical individualism and materialism that the very idea of what a family is supposed to be is lost. It is no surprise that the children suffer as a result, in terms of both emotional and character development.

I would propose a more profound solution than the "moderation" one to be found in this book. The cult of the individual needs to be overthrown. Parents should never make family-altering choices based solely on personal desires; the good of the children and the family unit as a whole should strongly influence what each member does. In addition, the excessive emphasis on "achieving independence" in childhood should be balanced with a recognition that all children need to be nurtured according to their stage of development. Children are not ready to be "individuals" in the adult sense of the term, which is why they are so easily influenced by peers, advertisers and celebrities. A strong, loving and non-hurrying family is a far more healthy source of influence than such factors. The more parents recognize and act upon these realities, the less kids will be "hurried", and the more they will be "trained up in the way they should go."


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