Rating: 
Summary: An Excellent Book -- That Is Not Really About "Depression"
Review: Terrence Real divides depression into two categories: over and covert. The "overt" category is what folks typically mean by the word "depression": lethargy, feeling-low, feeling suicidal. This book, however, is almost entirely about what Real calls "covert" depression -- which is often characterized by excessive activity (workaholism, rage, and so on). Some folks will quibble with whether to call "covert depression" a kind of depression. Real makes a good set of arguments. Regardless of whether one buys into the nomenclature, however, the scientific and anecdotal evidence is quite compelling -- and amounts to one of the best investigations of what it means to be "a man" in contemporary first-world culture.... and how one can work to find relief from many of the negative roles and situations men often end up in. Recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Novelisitic in its sensibilities. Beautifully written.
Review: I found this book painfully eloquent, huge in perspective and provocative in its social commentary. I think this is a must read for any of us who are struggling with the complications inherent in a violent and paternalistic culture. For those of us who haven't given up on the men in our lives, this is a haven of hope and clarity.
Rating:
Summary: A great book in male denial and depression
Review: I loved this book from cover to cover. It really went in-debth into the hidden depression of men and how serious our denial burries this depression.
Rating: 
Summary: Essential reading - even if you aren't one of 'em
Review: Even though the author writes largely about heterosexual men in this (North American) society, I think his insights are relevant to the upbringing and conditioning of men across cultures and sexual orientations. I particularly liked the way he dealt with the nature/nurture debate and presented compelling evidence of the role of societal construction of gender roles. Very rarely have I seen a man write which such passion and conviction about the need to transcend culturally engrained "masculine" and "feminine" roles. Some minor gripes: I did have a problem with the suggestion - rather, terminology - that male depression is "inherited" from the fathers because it implies some sort of genetic transmission (via the Y chromosome?); while the case for cultural transmission is stronger. Also, while this paternally and societally reinforced adherence to strict gender roles may be traumatic to the male psyche in the long run, I suspect that th! e trauma of *failing* to conform to these roles may be more immediate and crippling to a young boy. I wish he had addressed solutions to this trauma as well.
Rating:
Summary: Reveals how much traditional "manhood" has cost men.
Review: In this book, the author shows the stages in the growth of male depression and how they manifest themselves in his behavior. The cause, he argues, is the many ways society "coerces" and bullies a boy into the traditional and stereotypical version of manhood, with its relentless emphasis on violence and walling himself off from emotions, both his and others. He points out that the stereotype defines how therapists treat male depression--i.e., that it's not really true--whereas the female stereotype (caring, nurturing, relational) dictates the great attention and help provided depressed women. Unfortunately, Real implies that hidden and denied depression is the source of all male problems--violence, alcoholism, drug addition, etc.--which detracts slightly from an otherwise valuable and moving book, but not enough to say 'don't take seriously.' Revealing his own troubled childhood in the hands of his brutal father and how he, despite knowing better, visits passive abuse upon his own son gives what he says great validity. For a woman who grew up with a neglectful and emotionally unavailable father and married a couple of others--what else?--this book was an eye opener. I wish as many men as women would read this book, as well as the recently published Male Menopause. After years of books about how women develop, we're just now seeing a small swell of books about men. I hope the swell grows into a large tide. It's long overdue.
Rating: 
Summary: If I had a hammer...
Review: Reading this book, I'm reminded of the saying that if you are a hammer, the whole world is a nail. I think that's how the author approaches men's problems. Everything wrong with men is depression. I also had a problem with his lack of emotional differences between men and women. We are different. The book does shed some light on depression, and does encourage men to do more than to stuff emotions. But being a man is more than simply opening up emotionally. I don't criticize lightly. I was suicidally depressed at one point.
Rating:
Summary: Led me to an insightful view of myself, my father, and my so
Review: I stumbled onto the book by accident, read it at first casually, and then found myself seeing family shadows in his many illustrations. I believe the insight gained, and the suggestions Mr. Real offers, has led me to a new course of behavior. I have shared the book with each of my children.
Rating:
Summary: Every man and woman should read this book.
Review: "I Just Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence
Real may just save my marriage and give me
back the man I married 33 years ago. As I read
this book, I cried. My husband and I were on
every page. Finally, I understand the hell
we've been living in for so long. A psychotherapist for twenty
years, author Terrence Real exposes the pain
the isolation, the workaholism,the disconnection
that signal covert male depression.
He is conservative in his estimates. I would say
most men suffer from depression at some point in their lives.
And they suffer longer because they have been
taught to repress, to deny. Thank you, Terry.
I'm bringing your book to our next counseling session.
We may live happily ever after, after all.
Rating:
Summary: A book that I all too easily can relate to.
Review: In the first day of having this book I fully read, underlined and highlighted the first hundred pages.
I too am a mental health professional who recently seperated from my spouse because she could no longer tolerate my depression. A depression that I long denied because a therapist just doesn't get depressed or I would have recognized it and done something about it.
The author's report of his own experiences with his father and those of many of his clients are poignent and significant in helping the professional or layperson recognize the type of depression that is there for many people, but evver so slightly below the surface.
This is a book that I would easily recommend to those who may still be in denial or for those who care about another. I can only say that if only the first few chapters had been read by me years ago, that I would have gotten the help then that I have finally recognized as needing and getting now.
Rating:
Summary: Every man and woman should read this book.
Review: "I Just Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence
Real may just save my marriage and give me
back the man I married 33 years ago. As I read
this book, I cried. My husband and I were on
every page. Finally, I understand the hell
we've been living in for so long. A psychotherapist for twenty
years, author Terrence Real exposes the pain
the isolation, the workaholism,the disconnection
that signal covert male depression.
He is conservative in his estimates. I would say
most men suffer from depression at some point in their lives.
And they suffer longer because they have been
taught to repress, to deny. Thank you, Terry.
I'm bringing your book to our next counseling session.
We may live happily ever after, after all.
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