Rating: 
Summary: What price fatherhood?
Review: Haven't read the book but will say this: What price is fatherhood?If you add up the costs associated with being a dad, they are extraordinarily high. And if the mother splits and files for C/S, a man will be paying for kids that he no longer sees. Consider that half of all marriages in the western world end in divorce; 70% of them are filed by the wife; 90% of the time, the kids go to the now-ex-wife, with the child support $$ going to her as well, with no means of checking on how she spends it. This gives the avg. father/husband a 1 in 3 chance of having his wife leave him with the kids and stick him with the bill (.5 x .7 x .9 = .33). And if the old lady does stick around, the costs of having kids stay high-- they don't go down, just up, to include college tuition (unless you want them working at McDonald's for the next 10 years). They often include that too even if she has split with the kids! So while it's great the cost of having kids for women is being measured, why not also discuss the other side of the coin-- the cost to men of having kids? Basically, it is too expensive. Wives and children are an expensive luxury the average man not only can't afford but shouldn't get anyway even if he can. The risk is simply too great. And if this book's author ir right, it's a bad idea for women, too. Well, thank goodness for immigrants or America would be doomed to utter depopulation in 200 years!
Rating: 
Summary: She's wrong.
Review: Here's Ms. Crittenden's argument in an nutshell: "Women pay a high financial price for becoming mothers, largely because they, and not fathers, take most of the responsibility for raising their children. Since parenting benefits society, that society should contribute to a solution for mothers' financial woes." The first sentence is undoubtedly true (although WHY women continue to monopolize childrearing will have to be another question for another time). However, the logic in the second sentence is unconvincing. Ms. Crittenden claims that nonparents are "free riders" on the financial sacrifices of mothers, but this cannot be true. You cannot expect society to reimburse you for a situation resulting from a choice that you made. Ms. Crittenden addresses the "choice" issue twice. One rebuttal comes towards the end of the book, where she points out that women don't have a real choice when it comes to children, because in America, the system requires mothers to choose between work and child; but since women had no part in creating this system, it's meaningless to talk of a mother's choice. I don't buy this. The solution to this problem is NOT to let the mothers choose "child" and then throw money at them. The solution is (as Ms. Crittenden herself argues during her discussion of Swedish families) to encourage fathers to do their fair share of the childrearing. And this is within women's control. A second rebuttal is Ms. Crittenden's citation of an economist who says of nonparents that "their Lab isn't going to pay for their Social Security." It does seem impossible that Ms. Crittenden actually hasn't heard that Social Security is in the toilet. However, let's give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that the economy is made stronger by the production of children. Even if this is true, and maybe it is, so what? Is it incumbent upon a person to perform every act that has ever been proven to benefit society? Such a claim would be ludicrous. Therefore, even if having children is a social good, it does not follow that every member of our society is obligated to have a child. Motherhood, we conclude, is a CHOICE. And if you choose to be a mother, you must accept the costs. Ms. Crittenden tries to make an global case, but all she can really say is that she can't imagine life without her child. Indeed, one hopes that anyone who became a parent would feel this way. Nonparents, on the other hand, are happy without children. So parents, while they might be happy as well, must spend money on their children, whereas nonparents get to be happy and keep their money. Sure, this might be infuriating to parents, but that's the way it is.
Rating: 
Summary: Anne is spot on
Review: I am a career woman who is about to become a mother for the first time. This book is supremely relevant to me for a couple of reasons: 1- All of a sudden, I now face what countless other working women have, rich, middle or poor alike: You barely get to know your baby and get your body somewhat over the delivery shock when your 'paid maternity leave/allowed short term disability' (you can't get the full STD unless some huge medical reason that has to be proven and approved goes through) from work is up (if you want to extend that, it's out of your pocket...unpaid "leave of absence" and burning up your entire vacation bank). For someone who has been at the same organization for 6+ years, doing at least 50% of travel for the last 4 years, it's pretty paltry. Yes I understand there is a business to run, but expecting women and babies to bounce back and resume 'normal lives' in a month and a half is a stretch. I don't need a full year off, but a 6 month total would give me enough time to prepare mentally and physically to resume my work and for my baby to be more of an individual, ready to assume some independence. 2- The lack of quality, qualified services to assist in raising children. It does take a village, and America's society, which is usually dispersed from close familial ties, could certainly benefit. Only those of us who make enough can afford a nanny, but what about the rest of mothers? Their options are very limited. 3 - Stay at home moms do get the short end of the stick if society does not value raising children. Couple that with deadbeat husbands who divorce them and don't do their share...why are they left to fall through the cracks? Lip service is paid left and right by government and a lot of churches to "Family Values"...but when it comes down to it, are they really there to help when things go wrong? I am blessed in that I have a supportive, loving husband who helps with the running of the household. As a business owner, he also has more flexibility in his day that I would have. But what about fellow mothers who have spouses that don't do their part (or worse, expect her to be a June Cleaver) or whose workday is just as inflexible as hers? People who accuse Ann of being a WASP whiner have got it dead wrong. Look around at the rise of mental illness, child abuse, effects of poverty and emotional problems that find an outlet in violence in America. I don't need to cite examples, because unfortunately, there have been a lot in the last two years that have made national news. We are paying a very high price for undervaluing mothers work and not creating a system that values the raising of happy, healthy children.
Rating: 
Summary: Why Did It Take So Long for This Sort of Book to Appear?
Review: I am not a mother. I knew from a young age that motherhood was not my calling. It didn't help that, in early adulthood, I worked for a prominent divorce attorney and saw firsthand how disposable women with children are in this culture. These divorce clients, often upper-middle class wives of GM executives, were stunned to find themselves thrown away not only by their spouses, but also by our judicial system and culture as a whole. These hurting women become the new poor - literally overnight. Their married women friends skirted away from them, lest their disease was catchy. So, yes, Anne is telling the truth. As the old joke goes, Republican women are only one divorce away from becoming Democrats. The author does a great job demonstrating the inequity between men and women when it comes to childrearing. This is the sort of book every bride-to-be should receive at her bridal shower -- and I'm not joking. Most women don't tell the truth. Anne tells it like it is. My question is: why did it take so long for such an obvious book to be launched to the public? This book could have just as easily been written 15 years ago. But it wasn't. I guess I'll leave it to Susan Maushart's book, "The Mask of Motherhood," to explain THAT. I believe that women must support each other. However, it's clear that having children is a choice. And, sorry, Virginia, but there isn't a Santa Claus: You cannot have it all. At least not in this generation, despite glossy magazine covers to the contrary. Look around you. Being a mother is a tough gig, and that alone deserves great respect. It's much, much tougher to be a mother and career woman at the same time. With every choice, there is a loss of some kind ..... Don't believe me? Ask some of the female attorneys at my AV-rated law firm. Either they continue to work long hours and rely on outsiders to raise their family, or they cut their hours to accomodate their children's needs -- and are immediately forced to take a menial assignments and a back office near the law clerks. It's unbelieveable the disrespect career mothers get for choosing their children over billables. Mothers surely need more support, but that support should be coming from their husbands, not those who have chosen NOT to have children. We already pay enough in terms of tax dollars and overtime heaped upon us after our sisters have left work to pick up their children. Please don't push it. There's a growing movement of childfree who truly want mothers to win but who are equally sick of being told that their lives aren't as compelling as their maternal sisters and thus their time and money is more dispensable. That's a bad move. The childfree are not the identified patient, here. Patriarchy is. Choose your battles wisely.
Rating: 
Summary: Parenting is NOT a job, It's raising kids to become citizens
Review: I didn't find this book worthwhile to read at all. While I did agree with some of the things she had to say such as the need for better daycare for our children. Another thing I agreed with her about is the fact that most "women" jobs such as teachers and child care providers are underpaid. But it sounded like she was complaining a lot about how mothers do a lot of the work when it comes to childrearing and housework. She also discusses how much it's worth for a mom to do all the tasks she needs to do which includes caring for her own children. I was laughing as I was reading that section because for one, why do think it called household chores? And caring for your own children should not be seen as a task to accomplish but a gift in seeing them grow and become responsible citizens. Another thing she doesn't mention is how about the people who live on their own or couples who are childless? How much is their "jobs" worth such as doing laundry and cleaning dishes etc. worth yearly? She doesn't mention too much about the role of Fathers in children's lives. While I do agree they don't do as much as the mothers, they are getting better about it. My final note on this book, while I do believe we need to do more for moms, dads, and children, I didn't find this book interesting to read because everyone has do household chores including yardwork etc. wheather they hire someone or not to get it done.
Rating:
Summary: Profoundly depressing, but such an important read!
Review: I found this book very depressing and gripping at the same time -- not just from the vantage point of a woman who hopes to have children someday, but as an American citizen. The American work ethic, which has on the one hand been the engine for so much growth and prosperity, has done so without proper acknowledgment of its mothers. In many ways, it has done so at the expense of its mothers. As a professional woman in a high-paying demanding career, I did not expect to feel this way after reading this book, but here I am. As Ms. Crittenden points out, those of us who work long hours in the "public" world fail to appreciate the important work that must be done at home -- and at the same time resent the few policies and perks that make that job easier. Why should we support these "freeloaders"? Because in the long run, our society will come to regret that we didn't support -- and yes, subsidize -- the unpaid and largely invisible work of childrearing. (We pay generous subsidies to the brave men and women who serve our country in peacetime and in war -- don't mothers perform an important service as well?) In my opinion, this book did a good job of identifying and explaining the most important issues relating to parenting and proposing solutions to those problems. The policies that Ms. Crittenden advocates are indeed hard to swallow, especially after our collective repudiation of the "welfare queen" -- how can we then embrace radical solutions like giving all new mothers a paid year off to raise their children? It's a good question -- but isn't it worth thinking about? In Scandinavia, mothers (and fathers) are given the option to take a year off with something like 80% pay to care for very young children. (If you never worked, your pay during that time is much less, so the incentive is there to first pay your dues.) As a professional woman, I do see the incompatibilities of a professional career and motherhood (not surprising, now that Americans work longer hours than anyone in the world). I've watched as many bright female friends leave their jobs -- with no likely prospect of returning to anything nearly as lucrative or intellectually challenging. It's really a huge loss to us all that all this human capital is allowed to leave the workforce. If more generous leave policies could enable these women to be mothers AND rejoin the workforce, isn't that a good thing? It behooves us to find a way to keep these highly talented people plugged in -- corporations and schools have invested too much in them to just let them disappear. Not that we should consider motherhood a "black hole" into which women disappear and never return. To the contrary, Ms. Crittenden explains how countries' wealth and well-being depend greatly on good mothering. We read about the depressing results of poor parenting every night on the news, and the news doesn't seem to be getting better. After years and years of taking this work for granted, it will take a revolutionary change in our thinking to be open to policy changes that will support, encourage, and make possible good parenting. Maybe it's time to rethink our priorities, not just as women, but as citizens -- raising children is not just another chore like mowing the lawn. I am not sure how -- or if -- we will ever enact the revolutionary ideas presented in this book. But this book should be required reading for all of our legislators and CEOs -- these issues are just too important to ignore.
Rating:
Summary: Sometimes the truth hurts!
Review: I have not stopped telling everyone I know to read Anne's book. It's had me crying more than once and I'm only on page seventy. This book captures everything I have been thinking and feeling for the last six years but was afraid to voice. I love my children but why do I have to give up everything important to me as an ambitious woman, to be a good mother - My husband didn't! Why does society look at women who might want more out of life as selfish and whining? Are women really not entitled to equality?? To all those who bashed Anne's book as whining, ask yourself if you'd say the same thing if this book was written by a man. A good father penalized at every turn for trying to be there for his children. I say to those of you who point fingers and name call - the truth hurts! Don't stone the messenger she's just telling the truth. Finally someone in America IS TELLING THE TRUTH !
Rating:
Summary: How can anybody argue with the facts presented in this book?
Review: I object very strongly to the reviewers that stated Ms. Crittenden is a whining rich woman. I didn't read one valid response to the arguments she presents so compellingly in this amazing book. I can't think of one valid response, because there isn't one. Women of all classes and races are affected by the economic facts presented and backed up with enormous research. The fact is in this day and age women thought they'd be beyond having to choose between a career and a child. Ms. Crittenden states that women CAN make it very high in most professions if the DO NOT have a child. That is not the case with men. In most professions it does not matter if a man has a child or not. That is a fact few can argue with. One reviewer states that only when everybody works will everybody be equal. What then happens to the children? Daycare? Isn't it evident how little America values the profession of raising children that our daycare workers are no longer highly trained "Mary Poppins" but rather twenty-somethings I wouldn't feel comfortable entrusting my car to? One hundred years ago a "woman's work" was more valued than it is today. What has happened? This book will tell you. An absolute must read.
Rating:
Summary: The Price of Motherhood
Review: I picked this book up purely by chance at our local library while checking out the new titles and have now decided to buy one and give as a gift to every "Mommy" I know. Ann Crittenden has written a thoroughly researched and thought out book on what the price of motherhood does to women of all economic brackets who have children. I was left after reading the book with a drive to do something to help all of the "mothers" out there who pay that price. My one complaint is that I wish she would have included a chapter on what the readers could do to help change the price that mothers pay. Addresses of organizations, non-profit groups and political leaders that I could support as a mother that are working to help mothers would have been nice.
Rating:
Summary: Passionately argued
Review: I see that there are a number of folks who found this book not worthwhile at all. I'm sorry to see that so many of them are women. Crittenden, a former NEW YORK TIMES reporter and one-time Pulitzer Prize-nominee, knows whereof she speaks and writes. While the book is scholarly in tone and comes complete with copious footnotes, a vast bibliography, and so on, the passion in Crittenden's voice comes through loud and clear. Fact: Women who stay home with their kids are at a disadvantage financially and in terms of power. Fact: Women who stay home with their kids are punished (or simply not given the same breaks) by a tax system which apparently assents to the existence only of paid workers. Fact: This is a worldwide problem, with worldwide implications. I could go on and on about this book, but the best recommendation I can give you is to READ IT IMMEDIATELY. I have bought half a dozen copies of the book, in hard cover, because I felt so strongly about the value of what Crittenden has to say. Every woman I've given it to has thanked me and pronounced it fascinating, eye-opening and important reading. Even if you are not a woman--or not even a parent--you will learn a great deal from this extremely fine book on a neglected topic. Don't wait to read it yourself--get to it today!
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