The Mommy Myth : The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined Women

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Summary: The perfect mother is a myth: The human mother is reality
Review: This is a wonderful book BECAUSE it documents how America's parade of celebrity ubermom's intentionally is utilized to make 'plain folk' feel inadequate regardless of how hard they are trying to be a good mother.

Even if they have their own issues to work through, these moms are being held up as the flawless ideal which everybody should aspire to emulate. Even more frustrating is the double standard. If your real life mothering does not live up to this fairytale image, there is something wrong with YOU.

Never mind that Hollywood stars have many more economic and social resources to raise their kids with than the average American. We actually are being expected to follow their lead in order to attempt being classified as a 'good mother'. The hitch is that no matter how hard we try, we will never, ever be able to meet society's standards of what the best mother does.

The so-called women's magazines reinforce the self-doubt. They run an endless stream of articles which are designed to gnaw at the self esteem of the most empowered woman.

Douglas also examines how the US media represents other women. They were attempting to fulfill the cultural mandate of 'mom being at home with her kids' but women on welfare have found themselves castigated for NOT working outside of the home. Because they are poor in a society equating this with being lazy, these mothers are expected to work outside the home. When the mass media carries stories on these women, the tone is a cautionary warning.

We also do not want to be like the mothers who harm their children. Stories of such individuals continue grabbing regional/national headlines because it veers so far off of the culturally prescribed norm of a loving and providing mother.


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Summary: A victory for all mothers
Review: This is without a doubt one of my all time favorite books. This book is a victory for all mothers. I stay at home, but I love this book because it points out how little our government has done to support families. The authors make great arguements against both the media and the government. It is obivious the mommy wars were started by the media. This book did a great job showing that. There is a section that discusses the language used by the media to describe certain groups of mothers. When discussing women who stay home the familiar and warm mom is used as in Soccer Mom and Stay-at-Home Mom. The media then uses the colder mother for Working Mothers and Welfare Mothers. That part of the book was very eye opening for me. One of the biggest disappointments for me becoming a mother was realizing that motherhood is like 7th grade. Women are still being catty and picking on one another rather than using our time and strength to help one another. Every mother should read this book even if you don't agree with every chapter. It might help us respect one another.