No Secrets No Lies : How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse

Rating:
Summary: Groundbreaking book for AA families
Review: As an AA female survivor of childhood sexual abuse, one of the struggles has always been expressing the damage from within the confines of being AA and female. The damage inflicted as a result of sexual abuse is far reaching; almost always across an individual's lifespan of human development. I remember and responded to Robin's initial Essence article and am extremely pleased with her fortitude and commitment to a topic that is so often disregarded in the African-American community. Robin, thank you for giving a voice to numerous survivors and for providing more than adequate tools for them and their families.

Carol

Rating:
Summary: Just ask for help
Review: Several years ago and still today, the term sexual abuse was not talked about in the African-American community. NO SECRETS, NO LIES: HOW BLACK FAMILIES CAN HEAL FROM SEXUAL ABUSE by Robin D. Stone, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, is a book that discloses the actual stories as told by the victims. In each chapter, Stone provides us with self-help instructions in overcoming such a devastating act of violence.

In most cases of sexual abuse, the victim is ignored or made to believe that what happened was just their imagination. Children are easy prey because the perpetrator can easily entice them with money, candy or toys, etc. The perpetrator can be anyone - a family member, the next-door neighbor, a school employee or the well-respected member of the church. Threats of bodily harm to the victim or members of his/her family, aids the perpetrator in committing this violation.

We are all under the assumption that only women are sexually abused, but there are a vast number of men who are abused by men and in some cases women. Most males do not report that they have been abused because of the label placed on them by society as growing up and becoming gay. They also deal with issues concerning their masculinity and have feelings of being inadequate and vulnerable.

Once a victim has revealed that they have been sexually abused, some are shunned by family members or made to feel that what happened was their fault. Victims with understanding family members, such in the case of Ms. Stone, sometimes years later, still suffer from being abused. Through Stone's self-help guides at the end of each chapter, and each survivor that shares their story, victims of sexual abuse will understand that what happened was not their fault.

This book was an eye opener for me because it brings to the forefront the effects that being sexually abused can have on the victims. Even after the abuse has stopped, victims continue to suffer. NO SECRETS NO LIES: HOW BLACK FAMILIES CAN HEAL FROM SEXUAL ABUSE was very informative and lists many resources for use by victims of sexual abuse.(...)