Rating: 
Summary: Very Disappointing
Review: My mother has narcisstistic-histrionic personality disorder, an intensely pathological condition far more destructive than the type of narcissists this book addresses. I already knew much of what was in the book, in terms of identifying a narcissist (no doubt in her case, as she had been diagnosed by multiple therpists). The impacts of having a parent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are similar to what is described in the book (again, no news for me) but the suggestions for recovery are too basic and simplistic for someone with a parent with NPD. I did not find at all the relief I hoped for in reading about others who had experienced what I had gone through.
Rating: 
Summary: Flying Upon Leashes
Review: So sad that the forlorn must rely upon their children to provide the solace and stroking that many parents are not receiving from either their parents or their spouses, that causes them to look to their children to fill the loss. If teaching the world to sing might be considered ideal, helping adults avoid having to burden their children would be even better. Not actually guilt, but the restraint that prevents them from flying free, as if eagles tied by a tether upon a foot, the eagles quickly learn that freedom comes with limits. Spouses sometimes do the same for fear of being left behind, or from sheer jealousy, irrespective of how well they themselves are doing in their own lives. Although often seen as a need for control, it is, in fact, a desire for control more than a need, the need expressed only in the panic, anxiety, and loss after the object of their safety is out of sight, perhaps to prevent being out of mind. To insure their security, a pattern of capture and release - the greatest roller coaster of all of life - falls upon the victim, entrapped by attached emotions, and too fearful to let go. When both spouses feel thus, co-dependency is the result, addicted to the security even without safety. In parent-child relationships, it becomes impossible for the child to "mature" because he or she feels tethered forever clouding the breakthrough of individual vision, allowed the security of parental nurturing but not free to fly alone or with a favored companion/spouse. Mistrust of the bonds of love become rooted to creep throughout the human organism to prevent the development of full love measured by mutual sharing; a Linus syndrome where the blanket becomes the "comfort anchor" required to shadow the individual to feel normal, or the little guy with cloud that follows him around. Trust requires the natural severance between parent and child (like the bird from the nest learns to fly) so the child may develop the independence to test his or her own knowledge and confidence, hopefully to be folded into relationship with a chosen, and well selected spouse who offers similar confidence in well developed abilities with only a minimum amount of support because of that trust, that confidence, and the faith that the relationship may stand on its own without being coddled, pandered to, or reversion to old patterns of pre-development independence where the new spouse becomes the new tether that provides security shed for self actualization and exploration. Much like an airplane remotely controlled, or a kite on a string, flying within boundaries is usually all that can happen unless someone who recognizes the invisible thread encourages its cutting, allowing Willie to go free like the whale held captive by habit. Transitions are always painful and difficult terrain to traverse since they are always fraught with uncertainties built too often on mistrust requiring the fledgling to return to the nest for security and safety absent the anxiety that comes far too naturally. Normally absent, the tethers of the narcissistic stroke and reward to an extent that it undermines self confidence and self esteem inducing paranormal reliance on the source. Children of the narcissistic may become devoted to a fault, almost too attentive from the guilt and expectations they have been conditioned to honor and respect in repetitive minor losses of independence that are nearly unnoticeable. Sensitive parents and spouses aware of this weakness offer support by strengthening self reliance without abandonment to wean the young for his or her own strength of character to aid self reliance without any loss of love required for trusting relationships to encourage natural maturity.
Rating: 
Summary: Don't let your perfectionism keep you from reading it!
Review: Some of the other reviewers have pointed out that this book has grammatical errors. While this is true, please don't let the perfectionism that is an inherant part of growing up with a narcissistic parent prevent you from reading and benfitting from this book.This book goes through a relatively quick but thorough diagnostic process to help you determine whether your parent was a narcissist, and then makes its single most important point: THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. Nothing you can do, or could have done, would make a difference. The remaining 2/3rds of the book is about coping, protecting yourself, and recovering from narcissistic abuse. This is what you CAN DO to make the rest of your life happier and healthier. Get the book, silence the critic inside your head, and get going on getting better!
Rating:
Summary: Concise and to the point.....
Review: Some readers seem concerned with the gramatical errors in this book. Frankly, if you need to hear the words it has to say, you probably won't notice a typo or two and it is far from unreadable! As to the author's Narcissism, I have read several books, "Trapped in the Mirror" is one, written by authors who were obviously too close to the subject to do more than talk endlessly about THEIR issues. This isn't that kind of book. I just sent my copy to my sister who called saying how ashamed she felt to be relieved that my elderly parent's visit to her home had come to an end. When they walked out the door she was suddenly able to feel "real" again. What she felt was the overwhelming sense of fatigue, anger and hurt that had been bottled up for days during their visit. She wanted to know why they had to be so horrible and felt that there must be a way to "change" their behavior. This book doesn't help you to change your parent's behavior. It does help you to understand the complex mechanisms that make them to do what they do. More importantly it addresses their affect on you and how you can work to change the feelings and dysfunctional life strategies their have caused you to adopt. Please excuse the typos. I don't have an editor either!
Rating:
Summary: A must for everyone
Review: This book from Ms Brown describes the different aspects and forms of narcissistic/toxic parenthood. You learn to analyze your particular situation and how to counteract. Quite practical! If your feelings about your parents are somehow strange,guild loaden, fearful etc, the author helps you to clarify the situation and offers practical adivse. Interaction and communication get improved adhoc. Highly recommendable!
Rating:
Summary: Hit every nerve and is so helpful
Review: This book is amazing. I did not know what was wrong and thought it was me. I did a checklist and checked every box except one. This has helped me understand and I am on my way to feeling good about myself and not always thinking of others first. I am finally taking care of me.
Rating:
Summary: Well-written with a lot of good information
Review: This book is very well-written and does a very good job of addressing the special needs and concerns of adult children of narcissists. I recognized my family and myself in this book, and feel confident that by applying the strategies in this book, I can break the chain of narcissism before damaging my own child. This is NOT a blame-the-parents book. It helps the reader to understand why the parents behaved the way that they did, and that they will not understand that they did anything wrong. The Destructive Narcissist Parent did the best he or she could, and now it is time for the adult child to break free of the destructive pattern.
Rating:
Summary: Not just about self-absorbed parents
Review: This is a wonderful book for those of us that have had significant people in our lives who could not be "reasoned" with because the person was so self-interested. Try as we may to please these people, we ended frustrated, angry, depressed, and perhaps most of all, confused. It felt like a different Reality from the rest of the world, a Reality which we did not understand, and from which we didn't seem to be able to escape. Not unlike the mythical Sisyphus, we cyclically rolled the rock of parental or spousal approval up the hill only to have it return endlessly..and like Sisyphus, with nothing whatever to show for our efforts. Ms. Brown is the first person in my 50-some years of life who was able to grab me by the collar and firmly convince me emotionally (I had long been convinced intellectually) that it was time to let go and not exhaust myself further. I saw the personality she describes in my parents, an ex-wife, and a troubling boss. Things became very clear that were once murky, at best. The author is also very explicit as how to handle situations with these discomforting people in order not to be injured further. The best recommendation that I can give this book is that it is NOT just for understanding your self-absorbed parents, it is for understanding all the character disordered folks in your life; I plan to buy several copies for friends try to understand their divorces, their parents, and their sometimes dysfunctional friendships.
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