Rating: 
Summary: If you must understand codependency this is the book.
Review: I started having terrible problems with my wife, she practically shut me out of her life. She went to a therapist and was diagnosed to be codependent. Reading this book, although it's mostly intended for the codependent, helped me understand what she was going through and what she needed to recover. It has been the most painfull and heartbreaking experience in my life, but this book made me see that there is recovery for the codependent. Terribly painfull for her and for me. A long, long, long road ahead, but it whorth every step. Very informative, detailed and well written. A must if you or your spouse are going through this.
Rating:
Summary: It makes sense, it is easy to read, and it helps.
Review: If a therapist says "Maybe your Codependent", then you need to read this book. It explains codependecy in simple terms and gives lots of examples of codependency behavoir and feelings. If nothing else, it is a great book to read if you are a parent trying to raise children in a healthy , functional home. This book has done wonders for me!
Rating:
Summary: It makes sense, it is easy to read, and it helps.
Review: If a therapist says "Maybe your Codependent", then you need to read this book. It explains codependecy in simple terms and gives lots of examples of codependency behavoir and feelings. If nothing else, it is a great book to read if you are a parent trying to raise children in a healthy , functional home. This book has done wonders for me!
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Summary: I heartily endorse this book!!
Review: It helped me undersatand the origins of my dysfunction and it wasn't my alcoholic spouse!
Rating: 
Summary: Thank you
Review: One could be extravagant about the grandior of this book. But it is simply a well written book that could change your life. It is simple and Truthful. I will open your eyes and hopefully your life to how much better it could be.
Rating:
Summary: Really excellent book!
Review: One of the most moving parts of this book is her discussion of the "natural characteristics [of a child] that make them authentic human beings... valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent and immature." Not perfect, independent, mature, self-contained, and impervious to hurt. Imagine my surprise! Anyone from a dysfunctional family where meeting Mom & Dad's needs was more important than the parents meeting your needs can benefit from this book. It brought up a lot of sadness for me, but it also encouraged me to begin to parent myself in healthy ways.
Rating:
Summary: I relate to the author
Review: Pia Mellody writes a wonderful book. She uses her own experiences and daily trials to help you realize that you may or may not be co-dependent. She helps you view everyday life from a different perspective that can help you grow. Very helpful once my counselor suggested that I may be co-dependent, I am, and I can learn a new life for myself.
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Summary: Read At Your Own Risk!
Review: Read this book/listen to this tape at your own risk~Pia Mellody has written a book that WILL NOT allow you to continue to live in the comfortable wallow of your own misery. Easy listening/reading? No. Ms. Mellody asks hard questions, demands honesty, and shows you the true face of the person who looks back at you from the mirror-your own self. You cannot read this book or listen to the tape and then ignore the message. Mellody's words stick with you like sidewalk gum on the heel of your shoe. You gotta sit down, shut up, and pay attention to what she has to say, or suffer the uncomfortable consequences of knowing that you have chosen to turn away from the truth. If you put Ms. Mellody's philosophies into action in your own life, you WILL find the freedom to live with joy. You WILL find the path to real maturity. You WILL learn to take responsibility for yourself and your actions...and you will learn to let others take responsibility for themselves. There are hundreds of self-help books available...save your money to buy this one, and do what Pia Mellody tells you to do. It works.
Rating:
Summary: I relate to the author
Review: Some things said simply are more powerful thanks to their simplicity. This book provides a forceful, unflinching description of how people who are raised in a dysfunctional or abusive environment often sabotage and cripple their lives. The structure of the book is straightforward. The situations Mellody discusses are often sound sadly ordinary rather than extraordinary. But the resulting emotional resonance of this book is undeniable.Mellody methodically dissects the disorder she calls codependency. She first explains how when working with addicted individuals as a nurse in a recovery center in Arizona she saw a repeated pattern of dysfunctional behavior in individuals and their families that went beyond the addictions for which the individuals were being treated. Her work there and her own personal development led to the conclusions in this book. (One of the wonderful aspects of the book is that when Mellody talks about codependents and their behavior) she does not speak condescendingly about "those codependents", but rather uses examples that begin with "I" or "us." This creates a powerful intimacy. There are four main sections to the book. The first section details what she sees as the core symptoms of codependency: difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, difficulty setting functional boundaries, difficulty owning and expressing one's own reality, difficulty taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and difficulty behaving moderately. The second section details how dysfunctional family can push a child (whom Mellody describes as inherently valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent, and immature) into codependency. The third section describes the many kinds of abuse (most of which are not obviously traumatizing on first review) that can push an individual, particularly a child toward codependency. And the last section provides a very preliminary road map to healing codependency: the first step she argues is an awareness of one's codependent state, and second step is a desire to change. The book addresses well struggles that are an issue for many/most people. It touches on feelings that make books like "The Prince of Tides" and Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" resonant for so many. Here the presentation of more clinical, but not necessarily any less moving. I have two main complaints with the book. First, I don't think the term "codependent" does justice to the broad variety of symptoms that Mellody covers. In fact, I think the title of book alone might dissuade people who otherwise benefit from reading the book. I don't have a wonderful alternative, but I think a title like "Facing Dysfunctional Behavior" or "Facing Self-sabotaging Behavior" would be more accurate. Second, as in many of the twelve-step programs, Mellody consider a "Higher Power" an element in addressing codependent behavior. In reading the book I saw no reason to bring in this concept, and doing so might limit the applicability of these insight to those who are so predisposed. A good, and surprisingly powerful, little powerful book.
Rating:
Summary: A simple, unflinching introduction to a challenge for many
Review: Some things said simply are more powerful thanks to their simplicity. This book provides a forceful, unflinching description of how people who are raised in a dysfunctional or abusive environment often sabotage and cripple their lives. The structure of the book is straightforward. The situations Mellody discusses are often sound sadly ordinary rather than extraordinary. But the resulting emotional resonance of this book is undeniable. Mellody methodically dissects the disorder she calls codependency. She first explains how when working with addicted individuals as a nurse in a recovery center in Arizona she saw a repeated pattern of dysfunctional behavior in individuals and their families that went beyond the addictions for which the individuals were being treated. Her work there and her own personal development led to the conclusions in this book. (One of the wonderful aspects of the book is that when Mellody talks about codependents and their behavior) she does not speak condescendingly about "those codependents", but rather uses examples that begin with "I" or "us." This creates a powerful intimacy. There are four main sections to the book. The first section details what she sees as the core symptoms of codependency: difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, difficulty setting functional boundaries, difficulty owning and expressing one's own reality, difficulty taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and difficulty behaving moderately. The second section details how dysfunctional family can push a child (whom Mellody describes as inherently valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent, and immature) into codependency. The third section describes the many kinds of abuse (most of which are not obviously traumatizing on first review) that can push an individual, particularly a child toward codependency. And the last section provides a very preliminary road map to healing codependency: the first step she argues is an awareness of one's codependent state, and second step is a desire to change. The book addresses well struggles that are an issue for many/most people. It touches on feelings that make books like "The Prince of Tides" and Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" resonant for so many. Here the presentation of more clinical, but not necessarily any less moving. I have two main complaints with the book. First, I don't think the term "codependent" does justice to the broad variety of symptoms that Mellody covers. In fact, I think the title of book alone might dissuade people who otherwise benefit from reading the book. I don't have a wonderful alternative, but I think a title like "Facing Dysfunctional Behavior" or "Facing Self-sabotaging Behavior" would be more accurate. Second, as in many of the twelve-step programs, Mellody consider a "Higher Power" an element in addressing codependent behavior. In reading the book I saw no reason to bring in this concept, and doing so might limit the applicability of these insight to those who are so predisposed. A good, and surprisingly powerful, little powerful book.
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