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Summary: Living a nightmare!
Review: I read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" after dating a man for two years who was unpredictable in many of the ways discribed in this book. I never heard of Borderline Personality Disorder until recently, but I am convinced after reading this book that my friend is suffering from this disease. I thought I was going crazy due to my lack of understanding to what was happening, but have since been able to respond and make positive changes to take back my life. I would recommend this book to anyone who is involved with someone who is unpredictable or abusive, which causes those close to them feel as if they are walking on eggshells!
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Summary: Almost too conscientious & compassionate about BP behavior.
Review: Since the very nature of BPD is about cognition and behavior arrested at infantile levels, a labyrinth distorted nightmare in an adult mind and body, to emphasize anything less than the necessity and primacy of a voluntary commitment to professional care is akin to suggesting that families not treat a schizophrenic as someone who has to be "dealt with" and "handled" (page 84). The level of patience and effort required to stay on top of BPD cognition and behavior requires professional training and commitment appropriate to an inpatient ward, not a home. That said, this book of healing for loving non-BPDs deserves every bit of its 5-star rating, an astonishing and rare achievement and a godsend to non-BPDs and to BPs committed first to their own treatment. Thank you, Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger.
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Summary: Required to understand a common undiagnosed mental illness.
Review: I agree with the reviewer below, I don't know how Randi Kreger and Paul Mason achieved such a lucid masterpiece of savvy compassion for both BPs and anyone sadly taking undiagnosed or untreated BPD for sanity. Good companion films while digesting this book and placing tricky BPD in proper perspective include The Cable Guy, Our Mother's Murder, Psycho, The Exorcist, and Fatal Attraction, along with accounts of such real life BPD personalities as Tom Capano, O.J. Simpson, and Brit Hartman. Many blessings to all "non-BPDs" who have found their way to this sobering book while making hard decisions and taking their life back. Buy it, and visit Randi Kreger's site.
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Summary: WHAT A RELIEF
Review: For the last four years I have been trying to understand what is wrong with me. My 3 yr. old son's mother shows very strong signs of BPD and we have been in and out of court as well as counselors for the last 2 1/2 yrs. From her saying im the greatest man in the world to her outlandish claims of me abusing her. I have been feeling crazy because nobody believes the severity of my "claims" about her. She is such the "victim" to everyone and I am horrible. The works of this book are great. to hear others describing my life, when it is actually theirs, took away so much pain. I have had no answers from Therapists on what is wrong with her, and now, with the advice of an outside friend, I looked up what she felt might be the problem,BPD. I cannot imagine how closely this book describes my ex. Now its time to work on me....
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Summary: A work of Genius!
Review: I'm only halfway through but I must say I am amazed at the insights from this book. It deals with extrodinarily complex issues in a way that makes them understandable, and can lead the reader to take real productive action. I can't imagine a better book on this topic!
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Summary: An excellent resource for making sense in borderline madness
Review: This is an excellent resource for individuals affected by the unpredictable behavior of others. It promotes understanding and personal methods to recover your own behavior ranging from disengagement, reestablishing healthy boundaries to safety contingency planning. Constructive and supportive, a must read for individuals struggling in borderline chaos.
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Summary: Thanks to this book, I finally got my life back.
Review: This is an excellent work. I had been in a relationship with someone with BPD traits for 4 years Each time she goes from rage to distancing herself and then showing me extreme love, I always thought may be I misunderstood her. I knew I was doing everything right but I still blamed myself.Thanks to this book, I was able to put a name to the behavior. It taught me that I was not doing anything wrong. It taught me that no matter what I might have done, the result would have been the same. By educating me about BPD, I was able to make an informed decision about the relationship. Thank goodness, now I am free of the emotional pain and abuse I have been through. Now I have taken back my life. Yes, it was a painful decision but I know it will go away with time. The emotional abuse I've been taking would have been for ever. Thank you Paul and Randi.
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Summary: Turns confusion into reason.
Review: This book really helped me understand the behavior of two of my friends whose behavior confused completely. Now the way they act makes sense. I also deal with the public and the book has made my job much easier because the behavior of some of our customers starts to make sense to me too, and I feel that by applying the techniques in the book I deal with people in general better too.
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Summary: A SINGULAR, INDISPENSABLE, LIFE-SAVING CONTRIBUTION ON BPD
Review: I don't know how Randi Kreger and Paul Mason did it, but they have made a singular contribution to the world with their web site and with the publication of this life-saving book. Please allow me to post this from the book for anyone looking for help in or out of a bad situation right now: Predictable Stages: People who love someone with BPD seem to go through similar stages. The longer the relationship has lasted, the longer each stage seems to take. Although these are listed in the general order in which people go through them, most people move back and forth among different stages. Confusion Stage. This generally occurs before a diagnosis of BPD is known. Non-BPs struggle to understand why borderlines sometimes behave in ways that seem to make no sense. They look for solutions that seem elusive, blame themselves, or resign themselves to living in chaos. Even after learning about BPD, it can take non-BPs weeks or months to really comprehend on an intellectual level how the BP is personally affected by this complex disorder. It can take even longer to absorb the information on an emotional level. Outer-Directed Stage. In this stage, non-borderlines turn their attention toward the person with the disorder, urging them to seek professional help, attemping to get them to change, and trying their best not to trigger problematic behavior. People at this stage usually learn all they can about BPD in an effort to understand and empathize with the person they care about. It can take nopn-BPs a long time to acknowledge feelings of anger and grief--especially when the BP is a parent or child. Anger is an extremely common reaction, even though most non-BPs understand on an intellectual level that BPD is not the borderline's fault. Yet because anger seems to be an inappropriate response to a situation that may be beyond the borderline's control, non-BPs often suppress their anger and instead experience depression, hopelessness, and guilt. The chief tasks for non-BPs in this stage include acknowledging and dealing with their own emotions, letting BPs take responsibility for their own actions, and giving up the fantasy that the BP will behave as the non-BP would like them to. Inner-Directed Stage. Eventually, non-BPs look inward and conduct an honest apparaisal of themselves. It takes two people to have a relationship, and the goal for non-BPs in this stage is to better understand their role in making the relationship what it now is. The objective here is not self-recrimination, but insight and self-discovery. Decision-Making Stage. Armed with knowledge and insight, non-BPs struggle to make decisions about the relationship. This stage can often take months or years. Non-BPs in this stage need to clearly understand their own values, beliefs, expectations, and assumptions. For example, one man with a physically violent borderline wife came from a conservative family that strongly disapprove of divorce. His friends counseled him to separate from her, but he felt unable to do so because of his concern about how his family would react. You may find that your beliefs and values have served you well throughout your life. Or you may find that you inherited them from your family without determining whether or not they truly reflect who you are. Either way, it is important to be guided by your OWN values--not someone else's. Resolution Phase. In this final stage, non-BPs implement their decisions and live with them. Depending upon the type of relationship, some non-BPs may, over time, change their minds many times and try different alternatives. And: ....When it comes to chosen relationships, we found that the BP's willingness to admit they had a problem and seek help was by far the determining factor as to whether the couple stayed together or not.... If you are looking at this right now, know that you are not alone. There are countless others who understand all you have been through for nothing. Get on the non-BP mailing list at Randi Kreger's site and buy this book NOW. It can and will save your life, whatever you decide.
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Summary: This book is so on-target it is unbelievable!
Review: If you have ever been involved with a BPD in any way, you NEED to read this! I've read lots of books on this disorder because I have a family member who could be the poster child for BPD, but never has a book so clearly described the traits and characteristics as this one has. If you know a BPD, you will find solace in the knowledge that it is not YOU..
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