Rating: 
Summary: An Illuminating and Important Book
Review: Rachel Simmons has written something really special here. Reading this book, I remembered several experiences that I had buried somewhere deep in my psyche. But more importantly, even as a grown woman, I find myself in situations like these (like I'm back in eighth grade) and this book has really been a huge help in recognizing this sort of behavior immediately. This is a book that every woman who felt 'left out' or like an outsider in school should read, and a book that every parent of a daughter should read. Keep in mind that this book doesn't solve the problem, it only identifies it - but that's half the battle, and it's one that Rachel Simmons has won triumphantly.
Rating: 
Summary: Hard to read
Review: I saw this book on the Oprah show and it looked very interesting. However, the author focuses way too much on her research methods rather than drawing conclusions from the research. She also spends too much time giving unnecessary details of each subject's situation. Another annoying factor is that the author constantly throws in references to the movie 'Heathers', as if we all should have seen & memorized it. The only value in this book is that it will remind you that you are not alone in your past or present feelings of isolation and/or loneliness.
Rating:
Summary: Just started reading it but wanted to make this comment...
Review: This is a well-written, thoughtful piece of research. I just
started reading it and it's very, very paintful in places...but it sparked something different from what most reviewers here have written.I had a MOTHER who was a GIRL BULLY. Although I have struggled with this for years (I'm 58) just reading the introduction and the first chapter of this book made me gasp with the realization that my mother treated me the way these mean girls treat each other - and her personality profile fits perfectly! Interestingly, I only had one or two incidents of girl bullying in school (in one, it was physical, and I vanquished the girl bully who was the leader of the pack in 6th grade - she tried to bait me into a physical fight and I, a much smaller girl, won! I did have to to endure the ignominy of "respect" that year - it's cold and lonely being "respected" - but I moved on to junior high soon enough with the sef-respect that I could take care of myself). HOWEVER - at home I was mercilessly bullied by my "sweet," "kind," "caring" mother - who had everyone fooled - even my father, who was my nurturer, and my loving grandparents, who adored my mother and wanted her good opinion. So no grownups ever rocked the boat - just like the teachers who can't believe such nice, sweet girls are capable of being bullies. My mother was covert. She never reported my "wrongdoings" to my father. She simply put me down, called me hideous names, hit me on the back, ridiculed my sexuality by poking me and calling me a "cow" when I began to sprout breasts, told me people spoke about me behind my back, pulled my hair (terrifying), and once beat me over the head with an iron broom when I borrowed some money from a school friend and needed her to help me pay it back. And yet, as I've mentioned - my mother was Miss Popularity. Always had been. She was voted Most Popular in high school and had a bevy of friends from earlier days who still adored her. They were the "popular girls," too - but luckily for me, they were not bullies. They continued to love my mother and I, in turn, received great nurturing and love from this "Yah Yah Sisterhood." Later in life, when I tried to tell them about my mother's cruelty, it was nearly impossible for them to imagine it... for
anyone to imagine it. She - who loved their children so, who adored babies and kittens and was not at all self-serving...how could such a sweet, popular girl be such a vile abuser? Well, I was her target - her only target, her only daughter, the only "girl" close enough for her to abuse...and she knew, because I, too, wanted her love and approval - that I would never tell. At least, not as a child. It's sad, because for years I was enraged at my mother, my father, my grandparents and the other wonderful people who loved me (more than my mother but who did nothing to stop her sneaky, evil way of treating me). Then I realized that it was her - just her - and I forgave her. And I told all the others something that made them think: "You treated me better than my own mother did." This was long after my mother died, at age 49 - a very young age to die, and a very disappointed woman, though even this the others didn't see. They simply thought her rather saintly and resigned. So - this "girl bully" thing can extend to all areas of behavior.
It can happen in families as well as with pals and schoolmates. I thank the author of "Odd Girl Out" for confirming for me what I knew, deep down, about my mother, but hadn't quite named as of this point. She wasn't just abusive - my mother was a bully...a "girl" bully - covert, sneaky, self-amused, cruel, petty, sadistic. It's happening to you, but nobody believes it - not even you.
Rating: 
Summary: Lowest common denominator
Review: The good news is that Rachel has written a book looking at a phenomenon that does occur in real life and has not been adequately explored. I certainly remember the two individuals in our grade school that were outcast by everyone. In retrospect, these individuals would not have been placed in a regular classroom situation today, to fail over and over, with ever more advancing age relative to their classmates. However, I resent the fact that Rachel represents these incidents as commonplace instead of the abberations that they are. She seems to put every girl on either one side or the other of the bullying equation. It feels like just another way for girls and women to be put down. I don't think the book was well-written, and did not flow well from beginning to end, just restated the premise again and again with more vignettes. I thought the best 2 pages in the book were very near the end when she discussed ways of intervening in a bullying situation, and would have liked more of the book to be devoted to this end.
Rating: 
Summary: Eye Opening
Review: What an intersting book on the subversive nature of female aggression. I don't think growing up female you can escape being touched by this in the slightest bit. This book almost compliments The Ophelia Complex, which would be what would happen in the more extreme cases. While the book does not offer any conclusions of what can be done, like others, I agree just talking about what goes on is of a great help. Validation is often the start of a healing process. The descriptions of some of the experiences are heart wrenching, and sometimes vaguely familiar to my own experiences growing up. I wish I could say that this book offers some suggestions on how to handle certain situations, but I think its purpose is to make you aware of the masterful passive aggression that so often happens in manipulating relationships at a young age. Its interesting that our society brings this out in those that are so young. I would recommend this book if your female, have a daughter, wife, or any woman in your life. I can't imagine being of the female gender and totally missing this almost seemingly a rite of passage.
Rating:
Summary: No news but in the telling
Review: I've read a number of reviews of this book that say, in effect, "So what else is new? Anybody who finished high school knows girls are mean to each other." My response is, "Well, yes and no." That is, while the fact of girl-bullying (Simmons's term) is admittedly not news to many women, the discussion of it IS news, which is one of Simmons's most important points: even those of us who know about relational aggression among girls haven't been talking about it. And we must. If there is any solution to the problem of girl bullying that engenders self-doubt and mistrust of other girls that often extends into womanhood, that solution can only be found by talking about the problem and seeking other outlets for girls' anger and aggression. While social scientists complain that Simmons offers no new science, and SOME feminist thinkers argue that she offers no news at all, they miss the truth she tells: that it's time to start talking about this problem that everyone already apparently knows about but hasn't been willing to discuss.
Rating:
Summary: A Treasure With Priceless Worth
Review: I finished reading the book Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons a few months ago. I would read it for long periods of time, then leave it sitting on my nightstand again, until I got up my courage to read some more of it. I relate so much to the stories in it, it was painful to read it at times, yet I had to. It was too intriguing to leave alone. The girls Rachel spoke to really told her about how girls get along with each other. How there are underground ways we express our feelings and expect others to catch on to what we mean. How some girls try so hard to get into the "popular" circle. Or how some girls use their friends to gang up on a girl that they don't like. I myself have been ganged up on by other girls. I did not convert to their behavior, and I did not let myself give them many opportunities to mess with me, but it still happened in ways I could not help. Eventually, I got to the place where I could ignore them. But it still hurt. After a while I found that one of my previous thoughts was not true; I was not the only one. I noticed this in school, but reading Odd Girl Out made me realize it and put the situation into perspective. Before I read the book, I had learned to live with being harassed and still get though the school day all right, but what I really wanted was to understand why... why did the others did this, why to me, why to anyone? When I was reading Odd Girl Out, I saw all my feelings about being harassed by other girls on the paper in stories similar to mine. I noticed patterns in behavior in the stories, and patterns in responses from different girls, and other things. This book made it make sense to me, the that way girls treat other girls sometimes. Odd Girl Out is kinda like that birthday present that seems like it isn't much, but then you open it and see it's much more, a real gift. It also changed my harsh feelings for the other girls...since I got to see what might be their point of view, in my own way I forgave them for all the things they did and said. It felt like a huge burden was lifted off me, because I hate feeling badly towards other people. Though I do not tease people, I want to feel good about people in my thoughts. This book made that possible for me; it gave me the answers, and some ways I can prevent things from happening. Now, if anyone ever gangs up on me again, I'll feel better about myself though the experience, and I'll be able to figure out part of the reason, (which is always part of the solution) so I'll be able to do what I come to school for; to learn and to focus on learning...not "Hmmm, how I should avoid getting harassed today?". Odd Girl Out is like getting a small education in protecting yourself from a hive of bees that will sneak up on you to sting you, and make you understand why they want to sting you. I thank Rachel Simmons for that. She really put together a wonderful book, 5 out of 5 stars. This is one of my favorite books, and I think any girl who has ever been socially abused, teased, betrayed or abandoned by a friend should read it. The stories in it are like valuable treasures that show you your worth in the face of bullies, and the bully's worth as well. And I believe that in most cases seeing every person's worth (despite a less than perfect friendship with them) is one of the most important things in life.
Rating:
Summary: An absolute must read for parents
Review: I'm often asked for book recommendations by parents of teens, and this book is tops on my list. I've bought it as a gift, I've sent it to my daughter's school, I've been spreading the word: It simply is a must read. Julia, author of GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool and In Control
Rating:
Summary: Wish there were more like this out there
Review: This was a much-needed book, focusing on the hidden aggression of girls. Every woman has experienced this in her past and can relate to many of the stories inside, mothers of daughters especially. The only thing negative I can say about the book would be that there aren't enough proactive suggestions at the end of the book to counter this troubling problem. While it is touched on, I think more solutions or suggestions would have been helpful. It is worth reading, however, and gave me some ideas on ways to talk to my daughter when these sorts of issues come up with other girls at school.
Rating:
Summary: Maybe She's Just, Well, Um.....
Review: I bought this book recently to try and understand why my ex-girlfriend Shirley was often called "Squirrely Shirley", mostly by other females and sometimes by myself. OK, she's "big-boned", at least as bright as a 10 watt generic light bulb, goes to Lilleth Fair events ALOT, and watches the WE Women's Entertainment Channel constantly referring to it as the "WE Hate Men" Channel. "Somethings up", Dipper, the amateur psychologist thought. I then thumbed through Rachel Simmons's tome to hoydens and hellcats finding my eyebrows constantly trying to jump over my scalp! Girls can be MEAN!!! Sugar and spice? Yikes! I've never been so happy to be full of testosterone and Y chromosomes! Her central theme seems to be that society (particularly Western society, it's always our fault anyway) often teaches girls not to tell the truth about how they feel. If this is true, then I encourage that based upon the mean things she sometimes said to me! I can only imagine what the termagant was thinking! You will find plenty of thoughts like that about viragos you know running through your noodle as you read this book. It's insightful then, I suppose, but I'm more convinced now than ever that Shirley, unless she makes a conscious effort herself to change, is well on her way to being known as "The Beldam Harridan From Hell". Highly recommended for guys looking to avoid being nattered numb their whole life!
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