Rating: 
Summary: The real nature of this behaivor is poorly explained
Review: Odd Girl Out, while providing useful anecdotes of female aggression, falls short of offering a cohesive convincing explanation for the sex-differences in aggression seen among males and females. Females are not forced into unnatural aggressive behavior by an over-policing society of people who only want 'nice' little girls. The idea that women or girls have no choice is absurd. Women choose social aggression as an alternative strategy to physical aggression, because they are unwilling to pay the higher costs of physical aggression. Simmons seems to forget that males also engage in social aggression when the opportunity arises that the payoff is greater than the cost compared to physical aggression, which is less often the case for women. And likewise, females utilize the strategy of physical aggression when the payoff is greater than the cost. For instance, in a resource poor environment we see that women and girls more willingly resort to physical conflict over resources (a fact that she uncovered in the book but failed to understand or explain to the audience - see Anne Campell's work for hard scientific evidence and explanations on this topic - who is incidentally a renowned evolutionary psychologist, not a sociologist as Simmons misquotes).Female aggression is not about the social abnormality of some girls to be bullies to others because they have been denied a physical or verbal outlet for anger. Females of all ages aggress because they are competing over resources. In some situations the resource is a bigger social network, or a better boyfriend, and in others it may be the favor of a powerful adult. In a social strategy, the best manipulators are the ones who gain the resources but don't pay the cost either because their attack is buffered by a large social network or because their deeds went unrealized by their competitor. If all you want to do is read some instances of extreme cases where girls are not playing the social manipulation game well (evidenced by the fact that they are getting caught), then you will get plenty of great descriptive information here. But keep in mind that the explanations are weak and lack scientific support. And as a final comment, I would add that Simmons blames society for not allowing girls to aggress "normally," which in her mind is physically or verbally, and yet she spends a few hundred pages painting a bleak picture of social aggression where she is bent on a political agenda of breaking the cycle of relational aggression....the point being, she berates society for beating girls down and causing this social dilemma, but she is just as guilty of pushing girls into the "play nice" sex category by denying them rights to social aggression and attempting to manipulate others into acting out against relational aggression and "girl bullies." And when all is said and done we as women realize that we have all at one time or another been both the victims as well as the bullies in the social status games that women play. Besides, who wants their girls to reach adulthood without those important younger years of learning all the social complexities of human relations? But if we do what Simmons suggests then we deny our girls verbal, physical, and social outlets for competition. And lets face it, competition is universal in the animal kingdom. Humans are no exception, and the only way to stop girls from competiting is to take away the resource, and this my friends, simply cannot be done.
Rating: 
Summary: A must for parents and educators
Review: Rachel Simmons has given a tremendous gift to the field of child development. So many books on interpersonal relationships among children now center on the topic of teenage sexuality but many behavior patterns of power and control begin much earlier in the pre-teen years. "Odd Girl Out" concentrates on the power dynamics of young girls (pre-puberty) and how a lack of vigilance among educators and parents can amplify or worsen girl bullying. Since I work among teenagers, I immediately realized the importance of reading this book - the types of behavior Simmons describes in young girls continues to be played out among teen girls (i.e., making outsiders "pariahs" or spreading rumors continue to be ways of asserting power and controlling behavior). If schools and parents could begin talking about this behavior when girls are young, children could learn to change their behavior and make responsible decisions about peer relationships later in life. "Odd Girl Out" is well-written, filled with examples (and be warned that many will give you flashbacks to your own childhood), and offers excellent suggestions for managing this behavior among bullies and their victims. Several valuable resources are referred to for thos interested. Highly recommended.
Rating:
Summary: WOW!!
Review: Rachel Simmons shows the truth behind the doors of any average girl. She also shows the trials and tribulations that girls go through in school. I loved the book because I felt some of the pain come back when I read about other people's life. Rachel really knows what she is doing and I plan on reading her other books. I never loved reading Nonfiction but now, I LOVE IT!!
Rating: 
Summary: It's about time!!!
Review: I was never targeted in school, but both my sisters were. They've grown up to be covert bullies as a result. I guess they decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I've worked in offices with GROWN WOMEN who are displaying this emotional adolescent social dynamic. It's very disturbing because as much as I'd like to enjoy the company of women, I feel deeply distrustful of them. I think this book did a fine job of presenting this subject, except the author could have gone more into the fact that some girls never grow up and persist with this cliquish nightmare well into their 30's and 40's. I think, since the woman's movement is still relatively young, this is a transitional stage and soon, like artists, even traditional conservative women will bravely face the challenge to grow up and behave like evolved human adults instead of mean little schoolyard bullies. I wish I'd had this book to read long ago-it explained so much that no one talks about because of how invisible and insidious this behavior is. It's the victim that gets called bitter, oversensitive, and crazy. I hope every woman reads this so they won't role model this method of venting their aggressions to another generation of girls.
Rating:
Summary: It's about time.
Review: I got this book at my mom's suggestion, because I was going through my own situation a couple of years ago with 2 other girls. (I'm now 15) This book could not have been truer. It's true that girl's aggression is hidden, because it's not as easy to see as a guy beating up another kid. Rachel Simmons has come up with a book that truly explains what goes on, and uses plenty of examples. It is true that both physical and relational aggression is something that needs to be dealt with, even though we can't stamp it out completely. But it's also very true about society telling girls that we can't get into physical fighting, that we must be nurturing and caring, and perfect. And every single aspect of that is a contradiction unto itself. One of the things society tells us girls, is that we must not be afraid to speak our minds, be ourselves, and express opinions. But yet if we speak too strongly of what we think, we are rejected and sometimes tortured. This is a reality of girls' aggression. I'm a freshman in high school, and I've been seeing it since I was 10...atleast. At the very least. Guys beat each other up, and girls destroy other girls in secret. It's done carefully so that no adult can pick up on it. I am very much against what people say, when they believe that this is just something that girls need to go through, or that these are life lessons that just have to be learned. Any person wouldn't say that about guy's aggression, so don't say it about girls'. The rumor spreading, alliance building, silent treatment, whatever you want to call it, truly is something that girls do, and it's next to impossible to find a guy doing the same. I had no trouble whatsoever understanding this book, and if you have or are going through an experience like this, you shouldn't have trouble either. Everyone woman and girl can find a part of a story, or something Miss Simmons simply talks about, to relate to. I think this book is wonderful, and it certainly helped me with my own experience. I also love the fact that Miss Simmons included women's and girls' stories, because it really helps to show that no one is alone in this. I'm aware that she has come out with a second book about girls' aggression, but hope she comes out with more, going about it in the same way as Odd Girl Out, in other parts of the country. This is truly the book we've been waiting for on the aggression of girls.
Rating: 
Summary: Like holding a conversation with a grad student.
Review: Simmons has a great topic, and I am very interested in learning more about female aggression in youth - however, she usually seems to be just offering up the thoughts that come to her without assembling them into an outline. The book has sections, yet she is constantly putting stories and anecdotes outside of the sections set aside for them. It makes for jilted reading. She doesn't offer any *numbers.* There is no math in this book, no scicentific basis for what she calls "research." What I'll say ultimately is that it is worth reading and there are some great take-home points, but the book seems to be co-written by her wounded school-girl side and is lacking in maturity a lot of times.
Rating:
Summary: Odd Girl Out
Review: If you've ever been left out or hurt by a close friend, then this is the book to read. Many girls believe they are the only ones who have been put through torture from their close friends, or girls at school; after reading this book, they will realize they are not alone.
This book is one of few that girls will say, "That happened to me!" The way the author Rachel Simmons incorporates interviews, stories, facts, and opinions on how society effects girls' behaviors, keeps the reader interested all through out the book.
This book is not only for women who can relate to the hardships, but also for everyone who wants to learn a little about the way women work.
The author recognizes that every girl has been on each side of passive aggressive disputes. She tells stories about her troubles has a girl growing up and then stories of older women who have grown to learn from their experiences. Not all of the women pick up the same things from their childhood, but most don't realize or regret the way they treated other girls because they think the other one deserved it.
Simmons goes around different schools all over the country to see how people's way of life effect the way they that deal with their problems. Over all most of the girls deal with the problems the same because the same pressures are all over in the United States.
Towards the middle of the book, Simmons decides to write more stories from different girls at different times. Some of the girls are women now and they have sent an e-mail of their story and others are interviewed in person. It was easier for the women to tell their stories because they have learned from them and have gotten over them. But the girls that are in their teens and have recent stories seem to have to tell their stories in secret. Simmons makes it clear that a lot of the girls are uncomfortable at the beginning of the interview because they're not sure if they should be telling the stories. It seems like they're telling on their friends and making them seem like bad people.
It is a strange thing to see these girls wanting to still be friends with the ones that have hurt them, so they try and put it behind them. This issue is brought up in the recent movie "Mean Girls" when one of the girls is being mistreated and neglected by her "best friend", she tries even harder to become friends with the girl who is mistreating her.
One other case of stories and opinions is when Simmons goes to elementary and middle schools and has classes with groups of girls. In her first few sessions, she didn't know how to have the girls open up about the subject because a lot of them were cautious about what they said in front of other girls at their school. But once Simmons broke into their clique world, the girls started to open up and more conversations stared to happen about how girls felt when they were being mistreated and how they feel they are supposed to act.
I myself have had experiences that I wish I could have shared amongst a group of girls, but I never had the chance to have an open discussion at school about it. The only time the subject arose was in my Women's Issues Workshop class. Not only did the class talk about cliques, but also we talked about the pressures outside of girls that make us feel we have to act a certain way. This is also what a big section of the book was about. Once Simmons brings the reader into the inner working of cliques and the way girls handle their situations, she gets into the pressures of society and the two images that women are supposed to live up to.
There is the one image that women are supposed to be passive, delicate, and pure. But then there is the image that we are supposed to be stronger and able to survive in the world of men, opinionated, independent, and aggressive all at the same time. The first image is an older model of a woman, and the second is a modern version, and girls don't know which one to follow. So they try not to show any aggressiveness in public because it isn't acceptable for women to be physically aggressive, so they have to find other ways to let out their aggression.
Over all I really enjoyed reading this book because it helped me understand more about what girls were going through and how I could help other friends if they were going through the same problems.
Rating:
Summary: Girls in Love Don't Do Malicious Things
Review: Girls getting sex aren't doing mean things.
Girls in love don't think of malicious things; instead they are dreaming.........
These simple rules are rarely recognized, and not often followed in the annals of space history, on earth or otherwise, however. From the history of early England we know that women deprived are among the most ruthless of women, and independence only serves to encourage those ruthless tendencies. Women are made to be "attached" not always and not necessarily at the hip, but still attached. Those that aren't often end up like Carrie in the horror film of that name, much to the delight of those who contrive to place her there. For women, romance and sex generally go hand in hand. If they don't, it is not by choice but always a compromise, and most turn the guilt and anger in on themselves, and those around them, to assuage their passion. The complexity of women is astonishing to most men who, understandably, avoid the attempt to try because they are so different. Many middle aged women turn to political dynamics because they are not receiving the attention of earlier years where romance serves to keep alive the passions of sexuality. Men have long observed that phenomenon in women but they tend to forget. History is dotted with women, not who used their sexual interest to alter the dynamics of history, but who used their sexual deprivation and resulting hostility to alter it. Intelligent men don't play with the emotions of women unless they are certain the nature of their sexuality or social constraints are sufficient not to intervene to complicate their public affairs, and turn what could be good experiences into bad ones, no matter the intent. Sexual deprivation, chosen by women or not, may be one of the most dangerous psychological components of female chemistry since their nature is attuned to it as a natural device for making the connections they form. It is not a byproduct of the process as it may be for men. As an essential, blocking sexual pathways is much like uncaging a wild animal likely to go on rampage with the "traditional madness" females have long had the reputation of having recognized by this provocation. Their anger is always deep seated and unpredictable since it is the rage within that is being contained without the benefit of an outlet. Many such women turn to artificial means of control in this instance - most of which appear to be addictions characteristic of men who throw themselves into work to ward off the effects of grief. The circumstances of grief in women that accompanies her loss of sexual access depends upon her understanding of the necessity of its consequence, the loss of a spouse, inability to locate a partner, divorce, separation, or her own perception of the need for denial. All of these have consequences for her, and for those around her, possibly varying with age and her ability for self control. A women is often the living history of her sexual equilibrium, and uses the outlets available to express her emotional state. If she is aggressive, the existence of hostility is likely; if not, she may be in pre- or post-aggressive mode, or she may have successfully reconciled the dissonance. Although women may express their hostilities differently than men, and often more subdued than men, they are equally expressive in how those emotions register and play out in their lives which can often be more deceptive in women than in men. Neither can be said to be reliably successful or predictable in their management of these complex effects on their sexual natures. This may be why society is much more comfortable with what appear to be committed, productive, and sexually compatible relationships to reduce the possibility of conflict-ridden incidents that can disrupt society.
Rating: 
Summary: She's got the wrong idea
Review: I am sick and tired of hearing how typical male behaviors, such as overt aggression, are 'normal' and 'healthy' and typical female behaviors, such as the subtler aggression of girls, are somehow 'pathological'. How about this - both are normal, and both are wrong? Female bullies don't need an outlet for aggression - they need to learn some compassion and moral values.
Rating:
Summary: Brought back memories and made me face myself
Review: This book is easy to read, but emotionally, it's a roller coaster. Over all, I'm glad I read it. It deals with the often sugar-coated agression of girls against each other. It deals with the use of friendship as a weapon, silent treatment and rejection as nonviolent torture devices. The author deals with girls, but does make a point of saying that (a) boys sometimes do it and (b) not all girls behave this way. I identified with a great deal of it. I was ridiculed by the "in crowd" in junior high school and was too clueless and innocent to realize it. After a while I found out, to my humiliation. And although it took a while for the embarassment to go away I eventually got on with my life and even joined a club in high school that eventually helped me get into the college I went to and the pain was over -- or so I thought. Wrong. The memory lingered on. And although I considered my life to be productive and useful I still cringed every time I remembered those days. In fact, at times I still do. Reading this book did me a lot of good, and I think it can benefit almost any woman (or man) who reads it. These are just some of the reasons I liked the book: 1. It showed me that I was not alone and that others have gone through this, too. And while I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone, it was a comfort to know that others have felt the same way I have and that I am not the "only one." 2. It showed me that it wasn't always "my fault" when these things happened. True, a lot of times girls make it plain through body language and nonverbal clues that they "want" to be friends, and this makes them a target for nasty behavior. However, that is still no excuse to mistreat someone. 3. It showed me that it is ALL RIGHT to be hurt by a nasty remark covered over with the "goo" of "I was just kidding." This is especially nasty to do to sensitive people; it makes the victim feel like it was "her fault" that she feels the way she does. 4. It also shows how easy it is for the "oppressed to become the oppressor" and later on inflict this on other girls. 5. The author does show steps that can be taken to cope with the "alternative aggression" among girls, appealing to parents and teachers alike. She also shows girls how they can take proactive control of their lives and see relationships as an option and not a mandate. One of the greatest personal discoveries I made was that my best relationships are often a result of getting involved in something I enjoy doing rather than pursuing them for their own sake. I think this book is worthwhile reading for both women and men alike. I would not be surprised if men might identify with it more than they might think. I have a private conviction that boys' and men's relationships with each other is "just like it only different." Reading A SEPARATE PEACE and THE LORDS OF DISCIPLINE show that their relationships are not easy, either -- but then, that would entail doing separate reviews.
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