Rating: 
Summary: Divorce Busting
Review: , I wish the writer of this book would address the fact that this book is NOT for everyone. It seemes to have greatly helped some people, but in some instances, could make a bad situation much worse. I have been in counseling for about 5 years and have worked very hard to address my problems and change some of my distructive behaviors by confronting my own issues, and was hoping that my husbands behavior in turn would change by my "setting a good example". Unfortunately, as in my situation, one spouse may be trying to change and grow while the other spouse may be unwilling or in denial of their own problems (do to fear of change, which is common for alot of people, but especially people with controlling personalities). And using the "one person can change a marriage on their own" theory in a marriage situation such as mine can make a bad situation worse. My spouse has a very controling personality and so, over time, my boundries became all but non existent. With alot of therapy I finally got to a point where my self esteem became strong enough to rebuild my lost boundries. For me "acting as if" as recomended in this book (I have pretty much done this my whole life due to controlling parents) is what got me into a mess in the first place. I don't know any other way to put it. What bothers me most is that therapists are sometimes using this type of marriage therapy without fully understanding a couples marriage background. This is what happened to me. My husband and I went to a marriage counselor and he started with the "focus on what works and not what dosen't" concept and told me to buy this book. Fortunatly, I was working with my personal counselor on the issue of SETTING my boundries at the same time we started seing the "Divorce Busting" counselor, and I could clearly see the serious problems (in some cases) with the advise in this book, for my marriage. I'm sure that this book has helped alot of people judging by some of the other reviews. Unfortunately, I believe it could be VERY bad for others. I don't usually comment on books and realize this one is lengthy, but I do want to warn people who may be in a situation similar to mine. God bless anyone trying to save their marriage and greatest good luck to you :) Elayne wife and mother of 2 from California
Rating: 
Summary: A book filled with hope... and methods to back it up.
Review: ... This book, if nothing else, has given me some hope towards reconcilliation with my wife. Whether or not that happens, I can rest assured that many of the programmed and habitual (but tremendously destructive) responses I have made in the past will remain in the past. Furthermore, I found my own experiences described here repeatedly, and I am no longer wallowing in guilt of my "distinct" failures. I will be trying, constructively, to earn back my wife's affection. ...
Rating: 
Summary: A must read if your situation is in crisis
Review: ....I believe this is an excellent book but it should not be the only source of reference. Wiener-Davis approach is perhaps the best approach when the situation has reached such a crisis level. In my opinion once the situation is out of crisis then a long term approach should be used to follow-up. Which is why I rate this book an 8 rather than 10. While I am currently going through a divorce, my wife used as her explanation of wanting a divorce, "YOU DID NOT MEET MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS". I was comsumed with guilt until I read the SAME QUOATION in Wiener-Davis' book and the reason people use this as an excuse of wanting out of their marriage. DIVORCE BUSTING help me realize that this was not MY problem but my wife's own failure to interject other external activities into her life. With that I was able to arm myself emotionally and was able to confront my wife with the truth about herself and her situation. My wife's inability to turn the mirror to herself and her unwillingness to change and lack of comittment has led her to take the "easy" way out via blame. DIVORCE BUSTING also help save my friend's marriage. But in his case both him and his wife read the book and both decided to make changes. In fact I'd venture to say that their situation was worst. However they both are committed to each other. Another thing I'd like to point out is Wiener-Davis' assessment of counselors. I can attest to this first hand. During the crisis my counselor labeled me as "passive aggressive". This labelling help "validate" my wife's position. Such labelling only inflames the situation and such labelling is ineffective. For example, is my 9y/o engaged in "passive aggressive" behavior if I have to call his name three time to get his attention. This is the type of ineffective counselling that occurs during a crisis that often assist the other party toward divorce rather than reconciliation. ....I highly recommend this book. There is much too much divorce and often times, I believe, marriages can be salvaged.
Rating:
Summary: This book saves badly troubled marriages
Review: A revolutionary book. Definitely pro-marriage. One person can save marriage, even when partner isn't working on it. Principles upon which book is based are rock-solid. If you, a family member or a frend is having serious marital problems - GET THIS BOOK NOW!
Rating: 
Summary: Immediate help to retreat from the brink - not long term
Review: Although this book is great to help the couples that need help to retreat from the brink of disaster, it has little or no effect on the deep rooted problems that may be plaguing a relationship. Best if used with both committed to change the problems in a relationship. The one person techniques were only minimally effective and dependent upon that one individuals determination to remain married.
Rating:
Summary: Clear, Concise, Helpful
Review: As a single person who had to read this book for a counseling class, I was very impressed by Weiner-Davis' clear, concise writing. As a daughter of divorced parents who fears repeating that painful mistake, this book gave me hope that my own marriage someday can be "divorce proof". In the end it reaffirms what ALL counselors should be saying to couples: I BELIEVE in your marriage, here is how YOU can too!
Rating:
Summary: What have you got to lose?
Review: Currently separated, I am reading several marriage and self help books. This book truly stands out with it's common sense approach. Half way through I sent a copy to my husband (who would never pick up a self help book).I think he'll appreciate the author's goal oriented action approach. We've tried traditional therapy and analyzing our issues, and it has gotten us nowhere but more resentful of each other. We communicate less after a therapy session than we did prior.I think we are both ready for something different. I finished this book in less than a week and I feel so much more hopeful and positive about working on my marriage. Read this book if you have gone the traditional route of therapists and self help books.
Rating:
Summary: Seperated with hope of reconciliation
Review: Divorce Busting was very helpful and I found answers to alot of the problems I have in my marriage. The only problem I have with this book and some of the other ones is that it assumes your spouse and you are either still together or communicate regularly. If you think you or your spouse wants to seperate I would suggest you read this book before it is to late.
Rating:
Summary: Divorce Busting changed my life!
Review: I couldn't disagree more with the woman from California. Although this book isn't everything for everybody- no book ever is- it completely changed my life. My husband was in the midst of a mid-life crisis, big time. He had an affair, lost weight, the whole bit. Everyone was telling me to leave. But I didn't want to give up seventeen years of marriage when we have 3 kids together. Call me crazy, but through the whole thing, I still knew our marriage could work. But I didn't know how to make that happen. I was so depressed. My friends were tired of talking to me. I went to a therapist who told me to leave. Nothing helped.Then I saw Divorce Busting in the bookstore. When I read it, it felt like the author had been watching my marriage from my living room. I learned so much from it, not only about getting my husband back, but about all kinds of relationships. The methods WORK! My husband and I have never been happier. I don't usually write reviews, but I just couldn't keep quiet when I read the review from that unhappy woman. I realize that some people can't save their marriages because it's too late. But even if I had not been able to turn things around in my marriage, I feel I am a better, stronger person because of this book. I have the author to thank for saving my marriage!
Rating:
Summary: Offers assertive techniques to repair a marriage.
Review: I felt this book had much to offer. I appreciated the authors belief that marriages are worth saving. She puts forth helpful, assertive techniques that can be used together or alone. But most importantly she reminds you that you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness in a relationship.
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