Rating: 
Summary: In Need of a Peace Treaty For Your Siblings?
Review: Are you tired of your children fighting over everything big or small? Are your nerves frayed at their ends? Are you spending too much time setteling your childrens' agruments? This excellent book teaches parents all these different techniques to help children help themselves solve their sibling problems without violence and parental intervention.
When investigating the problem of sibling rivalry, the culprit and the root of the problem comes from parents' attitudes toward their children. Are you a parent that has labeled your children? Sometimes parents attach a label to their children without realising it and the consequences are creating excesive pressure on the children to play a certain roll that they have no desire to but continue to act it out in order not to hurt the parent.
Children want to be heard and adults must first learn to listen and acknowledge the childrens' feelings. When children are mad or angry, it is important that we help the describe what they are feeling and let them know that it is alright to be mad, sad, angry or disappointed, however it is not acceptable to hurt the person with whom they are having conflict. The whole idea of this solution sounds like it was concieved in some fairy tale but it works about 90 percent of the time to reduce the tension between the fighting children in our family. After the tensions have subsided between the siblings, the parents suggest the children find a solution to their problem and they actually come up with some creative things.
The authors have integrated numerous real live scenarios they have encountered from parents who have participated in their seminars over several years.
Two years ago I purchased a book from the same authors, "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk" which brought a lot of peace and sanity between parents and children. As our family expanded, the conflicts and bickingering between siblings started to increase and with the help of this book they are now on the decline.
An excellent book that all parents should read.
Rating:
Summary: Amazing!
Review: As the oldest of four siblings, I can say quite honestly that now that I am an adult I am good friends with my brothers and sister. Even so, I truly wish that my parents had found this book when I was a kid. So much damage and hurt feelings could have been prevented! The techniques are presented in an easy-to-understand fashion and the cartoons illustrate examples that parents will recognize from real life. The chapter on dealing with your own wounds from the past was incredible. Perhaps the highest praise I can give this book is to say that before I read it, I was extremely scared to have a second child, but now I can approach that eventuality without fear.
Rating: 
Summary: Siblings - Homegrown rivals!
Review: Authors Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish has published books like Siblings Without Rivalry & How to Talk so kids will Listen & Listen so kids will Talk. However, my in-depth study on the psychology of childrens' minds reveal the facts that their attitudes are solely dependent on their circumstances and their upbringing levels at home & school. It's one thing sure any kid require is 'Love, patience & Self Esteem.' Psychologists caution against casting children in specific roles: the quiet one, athletic one, smart one, clumsy one and even a negative type can provide harmful self image that a child may carry throughout his life. Sibling rivalry is a competition for the affection and attention of their parents. Two best known Bible stories deal with bitter feuds between brothers-The Cain and Abel and the rivalry of Joseph and hisbrothers.Even in fairy tales - in 112 of the Grimm's' fairy tales, it is found that the youngest child came out a winner in battles with everything from evil gnomes to jealous siblings 92 percent of the times. Psychologists authors of 'Siblings without Rivalry' suggest that instead of thinking of equality in everything from parental attention to music lessons, parents should be sensitive to each child's individual needs.Self esteem of a child plays a major role. Comparisons should be avoided as each child is born with a difference. The authors have very valuable tips telling parents to adopt various methods and outcome with cartoons illustrating key points. The book reflects on the inner instincts of kids like jealousy and selfishness. Parents need to be aware of their attitude which become homegrown sibling rivalry. Communication is also important part that a parent miss out and impatiently tackles the sibling rivalry which only worsens things. Demonstrating love is very important and telling the child that he is so special. "I enjoy your friendship' or 'I can always count on your support' or 'You make me feents with + 2 & above kids.
Rating:
Summary: A lifesaver of a book
Review: Contrary to what one reviewer wrote, this is not the *only* book on parenting you should read. I'd recommend Faber and Maslish's other books, How to Talk so Kids will Listen..., and How to Talk so Kids Can Learn... I give this book four stars, simply because I've given the others five stars each, and I wanted to show that you should perhaps read these books first. I found this one in the library, somewhat desperate at a time when my two-year old was regularly trying to pinch and scratch my newborn baby. What to do? It felt awful. I clutched Siblings Without Rivalry to me like a lifebuoy. Did it help? Emphatically, yes! There is tons of helpful material here, especially the stuff about helping children to express their feelings appropriately, and the advice to treat children uniquely rather than equally. I was worried that the authors might just rehash what they said in How to Talk so Kids Will Listen..., but they don't. The format is familiar - case studies, cartoons etc, as is the general approach to life, but the content is a real development. I have to admit that some of the book is less relevant when one of the siblings in question is still a young baby. But I'm glad I read it when I did. I'll be coming back to it in the future.
Rating:
Summary: Even experienced parents can learn alot from this book!
Review: Even though I was pretty aware of the latest parenting techniques, this book gave me new insights into handling sibling relationships such as the subtle ways that parents compare children without realizing it and the effects of children comparing each other. Read it once before the second child is born and again every few years!
Rating:
Summary: This book has made such a positive difference in my life!
Review: I am in love with this book. When my second child was first
born, I read the first chapter or two of this book and found it
very useful for dealing with my older child's jealous behavior.
Now that my second is 1 1/2 and the two children are playing
together and having so many conflicts, I picked the book back
up and read it from cover to cover. There are so many helpful
anecdotes. The book has given me words to handle so many
frustrating situations. It is one of my favorite
books on child-raising!
Rating:
Summary: This book has made such a positive difference in my life!
Review: I am in love with this book. When my second child was first
born, I read the first chapter or two of this book and found it
very useful for dealing with my older child's jealous behavior.
Now that my second is 1 1/2 and the two children are playing
together and having so many conflicts, I picked the book back
up and read it from cover to cover. There are so many helpful
anecdotes. The book has given me words to handle so many
frustrating situations. It is one of my favorite
books on child-raising!
Rating:
Summary: A good book with good material
Review: I bought this book a couple of months after we brought home our newly adopted son from Russia and the rivalry and fighting looked to become a huge problem... a never-ending battle between our only-slightly-older son and his new brother.
Over time both adjusted and now we have just run-of-the-mill rivalry and occasional jealousy, something that is manageable. But those first weeks and months were awful.
This book is nicely written and reasonably well organized. It's a quick read and provides a lot of useful ideas for how to defuse and ultimately avoid situations. Much of it is common sense or "frame shifting" (putting you into the child's situation through their eyes). I found some of the strategies useful and others not applicable, which is what you'd expect.
The downside of this book is that it is a bit on the frothy side, a bit simplistic and stagey. Some of the examples and true-life type stories go from one extreme to a too-good-to-be-true resolution "a week later". Some of the divisions in the book struck me as artificial.
Nonetheless this book is the standard for many parent dealing with this kind of problem for good reason. It is a useful reference, gets you to think about managing the situations better and gives you some tools to work with. Well recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Informed parents raise better siblings
Review: I bought this book because my toddler (2) was being very aggressive toward my newborn. While, I think the theories in this book require at least one child to be emotionally and verbally developed enough to express their emotions and thoughts, it has helped me look at her aggression in a new light. And treat her in a more positive manner even when I don't like her behavior. There are also some very valuable lessons to foster good relations between siblings - that's the best lesson I learned. My children may have personality differences that keep them from being best friends but there are things that I can and MUST to to foster an respectful and caring relationship. EVERYONE with more than one child needs to read this book.
Rating:
Summary: Great Read , Love this Book
Review: I checked this book out when I was pregnant with my second child and am buying it to use and to have as a reference. I forget things so I use it like a dictionary. I like the book for its detailed examples that really helped. I love this book!
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