Rating: 
Summary: don't oversimplify ferber (follow-up)
Review: This is an update from my previous review...Tonight, after 10 days of working the Ferber "method" (meaning, the simplest schedule of Dr. Ferber's basic suggested plan) my daughter chose to go to her crib, on her own. It's obvious she's still working through it, she cries a bit in the transition (which is not in the least odd for ANY moderately emotional transition at the age), but she'd calmed profoundly while saying prayers, and stopped completely before I'd left the room. Always a receptive child, she seemed to be even more 'present' with my statements to her about tomorrow's activities, my love for her, and that she was OK and would sleep well. It's strange, for something I didn't think I'd live through without brain surgery a mere week ago, she SEEMS to view sleeping in her crib as the best solution for her tiredness. She doesn't protest to see her mother if she hears a noise (I'm in charge of this process due to her mother's scheduled morning/evening commitments), and seems truly to be learning how to calm and comfort herself. Her understanding that we are truly here for her if needed seems to have gone very deep, in a short period of time. I really can't believe how this has given her room to work on these issues for herself, and I really can't believe how well she has done. (Note that I still believe this process is NOT for everyone. It has been marvelous for us. Dr. Ferber would say - I believe - that you really must understand your child and yourself first, and go from there.) In any case, thank you Dr. Ferber. I still hold to what I wrote previously (it really is hard at first, but truly rewarding if it's the right thing... my daughter has grown wonderfully in this short time.) I hope this will be an encouragement to anyone in the middle of their own mutual process.
Rating:
Summary: don't oversimplify ferber
Review: First: We are using the Ferber method with our 20 month old daughter. Second: I am her father. I am not an axe murderer. She slept with us, in our bed, all the time, until she was 14 months old. That time was precious to me, and (put your knives away, Sears devotees) I would still rather have her with me ALL the time. But just because I want it, doesn't mean that the universe is letting me in on a big secret, (apart from the fact that I adore my daughter). I would have her sleep in our bed as one big happy family until I'm hauled away. She's not even two, and I fear the day she leaves for college. So. I'd like to think that might be the end of any arguments about me being a sociopath. Third: It's really hard. Ferber knows that. Also, he does NOT NOT NOT think that 'ferberizing' is the one grand method. He states outright that you must first know what the trouble really is. You should NOT NOT NOT use the method blindly, by rote, without considering your childs feelings/needs/wants/issues/etc AND your own. Fourth: It's really hard. My daughter, God bless her, is intelligent to try whatever works. She knows that I'll come in at least twice, at any time, disregarding the schedule, if she says that she has 'pooped,' or is hurt. She is adorable, and clearly tries to put the best face on things, even while crying very hard. It is heartbreaking. To me. BUT I KNOW HER, AND I KNOW WHAT THE MORNING WILL BE LIKE, AND NEITHER HER SPIRIT NOR HER HEART ARE BEING SNAPPED. I see NO indication that she doubts my love for her now, nor that she feels the need to compensate by 'clinging,' or any other action. Fifth: It's really hard. But I am convinced that she (and many children) understand and are capable of working through a great deal more than many of us expect IF THEY ARE LOVED, SUPPORTED, ENCOURAGED AND CARED FOR IN A TRULY DEEP WAY. (Deep is, for you, whatever it is for you. For me, it is what passes between my daughter and me, at this point in history, on any given day.) Hannah is figuring this out, a bit at a time. We're not done yet, and if something goes wrong, if I feel her become distant in any way, I will change things. Hannah is, in the beginning and in the end, the most important presence in all of this. My life and my wife's life are important too, of course, but then... we CHOSE to have this wonderful child (Choice is, fory you, whatever it is for you. For me, it is the affirmation that is my relationship with my daughter.) Sixth: It's really hard. If you can't hold up, if you can't OBVIOUSLY, in your child's eyes be commited to her well-being and self assured and steadfastly loving throughout the process (which is to say, the entire process of raising the child... WHATEVER method you chose for your nights will not in the end be separable from your mornings and afternoons and evenings... life doesen't pull apart in neat pieces like that) DO NOT USE THIS METHOD. In fact, don't do anything you can commit to, including serving broccolli. Equivocation in anything will do nothing but harm your child (and you). Seventh: Get real. A lot of the psychological and physiological arguments about the HORROR of the Ferber method are mis-applied science... especially with a child over nine months of age. Eighth: Before doing anything, commit to loving your child. If this method, or that method, or your job, or your car, or your haircolor interferes with love and guidance and committment, drop it. Just drop it, and go back to working on the love thing. NO-ONE worth hearing (including the evil Dr. Ferber) says anything is more important than this. Ninth (and, mercifully, last): Yeah. I'd rather NEVER see my daughter cry. It tears me up in a way I could NEVER have imagined. But get this... I'm finding that her cries mean a lot of things... they are like my own cries, yes, but sometimes they are like my complaining about my day. Sometimes they are like my sputtering while being mad at nothing in particular. Sometimes they are about being genuinely hurt. Sometimes they like my moaning bout being frustrated and irritable WHILE I AM WORKING THROUGH SOMETHING. My daughter's cries are a larger part of her vocabulary now than they will be in 2 months. So. Please don't think that Dr. Ferber is suggesting things he is not. Please don't assume that because you couldn't handle this method it is evil in all cases. Please don't assume that those of us who are using the method are using it blindly or coldly. Read the book, if you want to. Think about it. It is well written. It makes sense to me. It seems to be working. Once you've read it, ignore it if you like. You can be a wonderful parent with or without Dr. Ferber's help.
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Summary: Reviewer In New York
Review: Unfortunatley, although Ferber does have many helpful chapters in his book, this book was not able to solve my toddler's problem of consistently waking up in the night and crying himself sick. It is good for reference, though.
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Summary: We are getting sleep!
Review: My husband and I read this book after 2 1/2 months of sleepless nights! We read all techniques in the book and put to use all that we felt applied. Within 2 weeks our son was sleeping through the night! The book gives clear guide lines for types of sleep problems, the possible problem and solution. The solutions are not always easy, but they are effective. This approach has given us peace and our son a refreshing attitude!
Rating: 
Summary: YIKES, WE DIDN'T KNOW!!
Review: After reading Ferber's book, Mindel's book and a couple other sleep training programs, I decided to approach international sleep labs and pediatricians from various esteemed practices. It is here that my personal and professional lives converged because I, as a sleep-deprived parent began my in-depth research on a documentary exploring the frusturating subject of infant sleep. There is alot involved, but the resounding findings from the top sleep labs, scientists and interestingly enough, mother's intuition is quite simple. Baby's do not cognitively have the ability to know the difference between a want and a need, they cry because it is their sole power. Consistently, the idea that a baby is manipulative (just typing it is ridiculous) is projected onto an infant by groggy, desperate parents, or second rate steely scientists, trying to grasp newness, a wholly different being. Simply, your baby needs you. Unfortuanately, it is not common knowledge when we conceive or are pregnant that we are about to enter THE boot camp of our lives, ultimate, unadultrated altruism. In the "fourth, fifth, etc. trimesters" of a human's new life there are all sorts of dynamic things going on during sleep - such as baby's chemoreceptors in which carbon dioxide exhalations of the parent are sensed and help regulate infants irreregular breathing patterns quite effectively. What they don't tell you from studies whose results are thrown around casually, is that co-sleeping REDUCES S.I.D.S. and it is only if the parents smoke (interferes with chemoreceptors), drink or take any drug that makes them sleepy that makes it unadvisable.Even if you feel pressured you have to sleep seperatly i.e. crib, immediate reassurance is critical. Ferberizing, the method here in this book works, the reason "ferberization" works is because the infant psyche gives up hope that it's needs will be met, an incredible price to pay for a sleeping pattern that will be outgrown. {The reason I care so much about this is that my child kicked me awake while silently choking and I reported a near-miss SIDS incident instead of a SIDS mortality, and here I sit, tired but with an alive, happy child.] Ferberization goes against nature and science.
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Summary: Oh, how I love this book.
Review: My son had been sleeping in with us for most of his five months. And while that helped with bonding and night-time feeding, it had created problems of its own. He wouldn't go to sleep unless I nursed him for a few minutes--which I was doing 6 or 8 times a night. And he never napped. Ever. Here's why. Dr Ferber explains that we all pass through several light sleep stages during the night, and kids need to learn how to comfort themselves so they can go through these stages without waking. And that means letting them cry. Like most moms, I felt that this idea seemed wrong. But having spoken to friends with kids of 18 months and 3 years who were STILL having sleep issues, I figured enough was enough. So we "ferberized". Let me tell you something about the crying. It wasn't the kind of cry that indicates fear, pain, or real grief that means you just have to pick your baby up. With my son at least, he was just plain mad--he was shouting at us. So it was much easier to deal with than I had expected. And with Ferber's approach, you don't just shut the door and let them get on with it. You keep checking on them--after 5 minutes, then 10, then 15 and so on. You can talk to your baby, touch him, comfort him, so he knows you're still there. That first night, he cried for 2 hours, then woke every 90 minutes or so, fussed for a couple of minutes, then went back to sleep by himself. The second night, he woke just 3 times. Since then--you won't believe this--he has been sleeping right through from 8pm to 6:30am. And he naps for 30 minutes or so 3 times a day. Of course, I worried that "ferberizing" would somehow affect my son's personality, make him unable to trust us or rely on us. Nonsense. He's just the same, as loving, fun and outgoing as he ever was. And we're all more rested. My husband and I can spend time together in the evenings. And I feel that I did right by my baby, in helping him learn how to sleep.
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Summary: My baby now sleeps through the night
Review: This book has proved to be a lifesaver for myself and my husband. At 7 months, my baby was still getting up 3 times a night to nurse. This book helped me understand that he was hungry in the middle of the night because he had become accustomed to eating at those times. It also helped us form and carry out a plan to eliminate the nighttime feedings. Now, at 8 months, my baby has been sleeping through the night for over 2 weeks! It may not be for everyone, but for us it's been wonderful!
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Summary: I have my sanity back!!!
Review: I was skeptical about doing Dr. Ferber's method, but I was on the brink of a breakdown if I didn't. It really worked for me. My one-year old sleeps through the night after just three nights and the pacifier is gone! Her daytime naps have improved and she is in much better spirits... If I only knew this before... We spent months rocking her to sleep, or letting her fall asleep in front of the TV when she was just too tired to stay awake any longer... I tell you, it's a new life and I love it!
Rating: 
Summary: It worked for us
Review: We resisted letting our son cry at all for his first 9 months. We had gotten the book out of the library when he was younger, but I didn't have the heart to let him cry. His problem was feedings-he continued to wake up hungry every 3-4 hours all night long. We tried everything - cereal before bedtime, family bed, etc., but nothing worked. When, at his 9 month checkup, we told his doctor about the feedings, the doctor said it was absolutely unnecessary, and recommended the Ferber method. We followed Ferber's advice for weaning him off the middle of the night feedings, and it worked quite well. It took a little less than a week, and he only cried for about 2 hours TOTAL during that whole week. He now sleeps 8-10 hours straight. He still doesn't nap well (we haven't tried to "Ferberize" his naps), but at least he is getting some good sleep at night. It was hard to listen to him cry, but I realized this is just the first of many times as a parent that I will have be firm in the interest of his well being. It's my responsibility as a parent to keep him healthy and safe, and sleep is part of being healthy. We give him lots of extra hugs and kisses when he's awake, to make up for it! One word of advice-everyone in the house has to agree to the plan of action BEFORE night starts. Although we committed to trying the plan for a week, we did start to have doubts during some of the nights (even 5 minutes of crying at 2AM can seem like an eternity). There were some tense moments between my husband and myself when one of us wanted to call the whole thing off, but we got through. All three of us are much happier now that we are getting a good night's sleep.
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Summary: Unfairly reviewed, but has some good advice
Review: After reading some of the reviews featured on this web page, anyone thinking of buying this book might think it was nothing more than one long essay justifying the emotional neglect of children. That is an unfair picture of this book. The information here is the result of years of research by a respected sleep specialist, who seems to have a real liking and affection for children, and a sincere concern for their well-being. I certainly understand why some parents disagree with Dr. Ferber regarding sleeping through the night in young infants. It's much like toilet training- the question as to when an individual child "should" be sleeping through the night is very difficult to answer with any precision at all, and the wise parent will be fairly open minded in this area, and will definitely want to do what is best for their child, as well as for themselves. If that means getting up in the night when the child is six months or more, then so be it. Parents should also consider their options carefully regarding the family bed and night time feeding. Dr. Ferber's opinions on these matters are not the only valid ones; many families feed during the night and sleep with their babies with no problems. Another disagreement with Dr. Ferber which I tend to support concerns the length of time that children are sometimes permitted to cry using his plan (up to 45 minutes). While I don't think his recommendations constitute child neglect, I do think the times involved may be too much, especially for young children who do not understand that they are being taught anything. I personally would use caution in applying these methods, taking my child's individual temper into account and considering gentler alternatives first. Also, I don't think I would use any of these controversial methods on my child under one year of age without significant modification. On the other hand, there is also some great advice in this book regarding the sleep problems of children of all ages, including adolescents. Dr. Ferber covers problems with sleep scheduling in toddlers and older children, nightmares, sleep terrors and sleepwalking. This book also features important information on disorders like narcolepsy and sleep apnea. Even the most devoted "attachment" parent could find some useful information and advice in this book. So don't close your mind! Read this book if you are having problems, and apply its advice with great caution and love. It could just be helpful.
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