The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

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Summary: Patterns is the key word
Review: This book is wonderful. It would be helpful to anyone - men and women alike when have just about any type of relationship problem. She is great about explaining that our relationships - when they are not at an optimal level get stuck in a pattern. Like an overfunctioning parent results in an underfunctioning child...hit home on that one. It isn't an anger management book, really - more that when you feel some anxiety in a relationship - it can be due to anger but more importantly a bad pattern of behavior. Even better, she gives examples of how to begin to "break" the pattern - or how she says "Dance" - you move differently and the dance changes! Great book - helpful for work issues, marital issues, and child rearing. Notes that unresolved issues with first family replay themselves in the family we make for ourself. You will not regret reading this book - written in such a way that is easy to read.

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Summary: The Dance of Anger
Review: The Dance of Anger literally changed my life. I was in a heath crisis & self-evaluation when I was given this book & it was like God & my friend had meant for me to be saved by this book. I was feeling so angry & out of control with my parents, my spouse, & feeling distant from my children. This book made me see that many things that I was angry & frustrated about were of my making & not someone else creating the situation. I was literally transformed by Dr Lerner's insightful writings. It truly was an life changing read. I saw myself in so many situations that she wrote about. This book truly changed my life. I read her other books too & was helped so much by all of them...but this book was the key to me being a happier, emotionally healthy & loving person. It is a true gift to women who want a better relationship with the important people of their lives. I can't recommend this book highly enough to all! It is a true gift from Dr Lerner to women everywhere!!

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Summary: sitting out the dance
Review: This book was recommended to me by my therapist, who claimed it was an excellent book for helping women learn to deal with some of life's difficult situations. And it delivers! Learning the "dance" steps was so enlightening. Dr. Lerner helps the reader to understand complex interpersonal behaviors using language we can all relate to. Her section near the end of the book on "triangles" (an example is when your mother complains to you about your brother/sister, rather than talking to him/her directly) was equally helpful to me. I knew what the problem was in my family, but now I have an understanding of the underlying issues as well as how to avoid this very upsetting trap that some of us find ourselves caught in. This was my first Harriet Lerner book, and it's underlined throughout. I highly recommend it to anyone who is serious about wanting to improve her relationships. If you are not serious, however, if you only want some handholding, you may as well call a sympathetic friend instead. This book will greatly help those who are ready to work at their relationships, but the fainthearted will probably not benefit much from all it has to offer.

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Summary: A great book whether you're angry or not
Review: I've bought this book so many times for my friends. It's the first book I've read that actually gives simple techniques for changing complicated behavior. And it addresses those that say they are okay with everything but don't realize how it builds inside. It also addresses those of us who let everyone have it, but never resolve anything -- now maybe people will really listen. Whether you're angry or not and whether you're male or female -- this book has techniques that anyone can put to use.

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Summary: One of most insightful books I've ever read
Review: My son's teacher used to have a saying - "you're mad, too bad". I thought it was mean. Now it's one of my mantras.

This book helped me figure out when people in my life where using their anger to manipulate me. It helped me figure out why I was mad and how to figure out what to do with it.

The best part was learning about triangles and how to remove myself from them.

All my relationships have improved immensely.

I've since bought Harriet Lerner's other books and they are just as excellent.

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Summary: Illuminating, Challenging, and Powerful!
Review: The Dance of Anger manages to show harmful patterns, how we participate in them, and how we can change them in easily understood user-friendly format. By tapping into our own resevoirs, learning new 'dance steps,' and daring to allow ourselves to change, our lives can be greatly changed for the better.

This book really hit home for me. It's almost as if this book was written just for me. I read the book straight through - I couldn't put it down. There are 2 things I couldn't put down. This book and my cup of S o y f e e. It's made from organic soyabeans which you brew just like coffee. No caffeine and I don't miss it either. Look for on the web at www. S oycoffee.com.

Ms. Lerner has a real gift for empowering people, especially women, to help themselves. I have learned so much about myself and how I deal with anger. This is a must-read book for every woman!

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Summary: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns
Review: Dance of anger is a real eye opener. It points out many of the distructive loops that we are unawarely caught in, and also gives some of the tools for communicating out of them. I found it both helpful and reassuring, and I'm ready to learn more. Thank you for a wonderful book.

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Summary: Excellent Reading...
Review: This is an excellent book whether you have anger issues or not. This book can truly help you with all of your relationships if you let it. This book was highly recommended by my therapist.

It helps you identify feelings and helps you figure out what makes you feel that way. Most importantly, it explains how to deal with those feelings and talk about those feelings. It teaches you "fair fighting" and how to effectively talk things out. This book doesn't point fingers and say there is "something wrong" with you. It is written in "we, us" form - letting you know that there are so many people out there who haven't figured out how to identify our feelings and in turn get angry or bottle anger.

Of course everyone gets defensive and says "I'm not an angry person", but that's the thing about this book; you don't have to be an angry person to benefit from what it has to say. For instance, my sister, who is just as sweet as sugar was very reluctant to read this book. She finally did and used all of it's bits of advice to improve communication in her marriage. This book talks about dealing with your spouse or significant other, your parents and siblings, in laws, even your children.

I very highly recommend this book to all women.


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Summary: Best book I ever read on anger!
Review: The Dance of Anger has been the most helpful book I have ever read on the subject. It details the dynamics of anger with very practical techniques for management that worked better for me than other books. It also has a section on anger between mothers and daughters that proved indespensible to me.

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Summary: A Must Read For Anyone Experiencing Anxiety
Review: This book was recommended to me after I complained of experiencing great amount of anxiety. I balked at the title... *I* didn't have a problem with anger! But I picked up the book and read it anyway just to see what it had to say.

All I can say is "WOW!" This book described EXACTLY what I was experiencing and feeling. I hadn't even realized that I had so much repressed anger and resentment inside of me! I now am working on changing how I react to others... and that is creating a change in how others react toward me (and so far it has been a change for the better).