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Summary: A woman trying to deal with midlife
Review: As a person dealing with menopause and my husband's midlife crisis, I wanted to learn more about myself. How am I contributing to the disintegration of my marriage was an important question for me since I didn't want another relationship until I understood what was happening in this one. I discovered patterns of my own overfunctioning, blaming and pursuing which I am breaking to change my behavior. This book has helped me to let go of my guilt feelings about wanting change, and to appreciate the needs of my children and husband. I have learned that pain and suffering translate to growth. Anger is a part of the process and a healthy one. I don't know if I will be able to save my present relationship, but having read this book, I know that I won't repeat unhealthy behaviors in another relationship.
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Summary: If you are ready for change, read this book.
Review: My therapist recommended this book and it has helped me immensely. As someone who was reluctant to engage in therapy or read self-help books, I was very surprised by what Harriet Lerner's book had to offer. Lerner explains that relationships are often stuck in patterns or "dances" and that these patterns repeat themselves again and again in times of anger. Lerner shows you how you can recognize and change your own patterns. Such changes lead to a greater understanding of self and healthier relationships. This book can really help you to see things in a new light.
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Summary: This book is changing my life
Review: I had already read "The Anger Habit," and I thought that book changed my life completely. I might have stopped there, having learned so much and been so much more at peace. I'm glad I didn't. "The Dance of Anger" is along completely different lines, but it still has taught me invaluable lessons. Mostly, I am learning what is my responsibility and what is not. I think I had things completely backward, as so many of us do. My whole attitude and perspective have changed. My husband is impressed with the changes in me and says he will read this book after he finishes "The Anger Habit." I consider this book a gift in my life, and I highly recommend it to anyone.
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Summary: Use anger to make your life better
Review: I found this book as impossible to put down as any thriller -- it was fascinating even when it didn't directly apply to me. But most of it did.All my life I have had a problem expressing anger. It usually comes out as tears, which does not impress anyone or improve the situation, or else I swallow it and tell myself it's not important. This book has helped me to understand that when I'm angry, it means something is wrong, and I attempt to calmly identify what that is, and take steps to make it better. I'm not expert at this yet, but the book has given me hope that small changes can lead to big improvement over time. All in all, this is a great book for anyone whose anger has ever made them feel ashamed or powerless. Read and reread until your anger works for you, not against you.
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Summary: Wow !
Review: Many years ago someone recommended that I read this book but I didn't bother. I thought "Yeah right, another self-help book. I don't think so!" I was so wrong. This book dares to take on that ugly, taboo emotion: ANGER! If you never learned good solutions for understanding and dealing with your anger, this is a book you need to read. It is filled with insight about anger. It also offers constructive solutions for getting rid of anger, and improving relationships with people who make us angry. It deals with generational patterns of anger! This book is not just for women. Men, too, could learn a lot from reading this book and putting it's suggestions into practice. Very highly recommended.
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Summary: Changed my life
Review: This book had a significant impact on who I am today: a more self confident person who understands that the only person truly in control of my life is: ME! I love the examples of how to handle conflict situations, as for those of us who grew up without a good example, knowing that we don't deal with situations appropriately is not so helpful if we don't get clues on how to improve. A friend recommended the book and I have given it to friends since. Read this book if you are not afraid of change, as change is required. Change to be a happier person. I have read a lot of psychology books, this one is right to the point and spoke my language. It gave me hope and the tools to make my life better.
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Summary: This book is changing my life
Review: I had already read "The Anger Habit," and I thought that book changed my life completely. I might have stopped there, having learned so much and been so much more at peace. I'm glad I didn't. "The Dance of Anger" is along completely different lines, but it still has taught me invaluable lessons. Mostly, I am learning what is my responsibility and what is not. I think I had things completely backward, as so many of us do. My whole attitude and perspective have changed. My husband is impressed with the changes in me and says he will read this book after he finishes "The Anger Habit." I consider this book a gift in my life, and I highly recommend it to anyone.
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Summary: A Classic!
Review: The Dance of Anger is a classic in the field. It will help you understand your anger and change your behavior. I first read it over ten years ago and it was a great first step to transforming unhealthy anger patterns and improving my relationships. A great place to start. - Lisa Tener, co-author of Good and Mad: Transform Anger Using Mind, Body, Soul and Humor (Middelton-Moz, Tener, Todd, Health Communications, 2003)
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Summary: sitting out the dance
Review: This book was recommended to me by my therapist, who claimed it was an excellent book for helping women learn to deal with some of life's difficult situations. And it delivers! Learning the "dance" steps was so enlightening. Dr. Lerner helps the reader to understand complex interpersonal behaviors using language we can all relate to. Her section near the end of the book on "triangles" (an example is when your mother complains to you about your brother/sister, rather than talking to him/her directly) was equally helpful to me. I knew what the problem was in my family, but now I have an understanding of the underlying issues as well as how to avoid this very upsetting trap that some of us find ourselves caught in. This was my first Harriet Lerner book, and it's underlined throughout. I highly recommend it to anyone who is serious about wanting to improve her relationships. If you are not serious, however, if you only want some handholding, you may as well call a sympathetic friend instead. This book will greatly help those who are ready to work at their relationships, but the fainthearted will probably not benefit much from all it has to offer.
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Summary: Not just for women!
Review: The title/subtitle of this book is rather misleading, and although it is written for a specific audience (women) the tools to tapping into repressed anger in a healthy manner is valuable to anyone! Full of case studies and great examples that are easy to read and fully understand, this book leaves the clinical stuff up to the doctors and let's the individual work on themselves. This book was recommended to my by my Therapist, and I must admit that the title did turn me off.....but if you are able to work through that, this book will be an effective tool in helping you to feel better about yourself and those around you! Very highly recommended!
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