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Summary: A fabulous book for dealing with our "difficult" child.
Review: This book has totally turned around the way we now interact with our daughter, who has Tourette Syndrome, and is often inflexible and explosive, as evidenced by several melt-downs per day.My wife went to Dr. Greene's seminar in NYC, and she returned so pumped up I had to get the book. I am back to amazon.com to order three more copies because after reading it, I gave my only copy to her school aide. I need more copies for the nanny, Grandma, and a replacement for us. If the stickers and points aren't working, you have to get this book.
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Summary: This book has given me hope
Review: After reading the first couple of chapters, I felt as if Dr. Greene had used our 12 year-old ADD son as his model. Except for the severity of physical violence, he had described our son. We have implemented the basket approach and all I can say is in only a month's time we are seeing a change that is miraculous. His "meltdowns" (explosions) were occurring more than once a day and we have had only one this past week. Our son is happier and so is our whole family. I have read many books concerning ADD, but this book helped me to see just what was happening inside his head. To be honest, there were times that I felt like I really didn't like him and didn't want him around. This book gave me a whole new perspective and at the same time, a closeness that I have not had with him for a long time. Thank you , Dr. Greene!
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Summary: The best understanding/parenting difficult kids help book
Review: It's like the author has lived in our house with our child -- traditional behavior management doesn't work with our son, but the basket approach does. We're so much more relaxed and our son is learning how to adapt much more quickly than ever before.
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Summary: Excellent resource for parents of extemly difficult children
Review: This is the first book I have read that actually addresses my daughters disorder. It was great to find out I am not alone and there is help available. I have read many books on difficult children with ADHD but this is by far the best. I have been researching this for over 5 years. Thank you Ross Greene for a terrific book!
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Summary: At last, a book that actually helps--amazing!
Review: Parents of "explosive: children, you know who you are. This book can be a life-saver for you. If you have failed repeatedly with traditional advice-- "just set consistent limits;" "kids need occasional 'time outs;'""teach patience with consistent rewards and punishments;" "exert your natural authority for your child's good"--you'll find this book a real breath of fresh air. Dr. Greene explains why these approaches just infuriate and humiliate some kids (not to mention their harried parents). He explains why you can't train a kid like this to obey even the best advice blindly, and recommends relinquishing a bit of your (nonexistent) authority in favor of creating a relationship of two-way communication that allows your kid to stay calm and forge compromises. It isn't easy, and it isn't perfect, but--unlike reward-and-punishment, behaviorally-oriented approaches--it really does help.
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Summary: Finally, peace in our household
Review: After years of reading books on "strong-willed" or "difficult" children... and years of psychotherapy, Dr. Greene's fresh approach to what seemed an unsolvable problem has brought peace to our household for the first time in 8 years. I have bought a copy of this book for everyone that deals with my 10-year-old son: my parents, his teacher, his previous teacher, and the County Mental Health worker who is working with us on in-home behavior modification. I was very sceptical when I first learned of Dr. Greene's approach-- it sounded too easy ! But it truly, truly works. Dr. Greene put into words what I had always known about my child, but couldn't express cohesively. My son used to have several "melt-downs" each week, and I always wondered how much control he had over his own behavior and emotions. Now I know the answer, and also can recognize the various stages of escalation leading up to a rage episode. Applying Dr. Greene's "basket" principles, we haven't had a melt-down in 3 weeks, and my son's cooperation with our "basket A" and "basket B" requests is fantastic. No more melt-downs, no more frustrated adults. We actually have hope for a brighter future. Even school is going really, really well. Many thanks to Dr. Greene for giving us an alternative to manage our "inflexible, explosive" (but lovable) children !
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Summary: A Parent Perspective - Use What Works- This Does!
Review: Ross Greene outlines a pracical "what works" approach that really does work for our child. He advocates front end intervention techniques to teach the child over time how to identify options and make decisions in the face of frustration and before meltdown occurs. His premise is that inflexibility (of the child) + inflexibility (on the adult's part) = meltdown. His approach advocates that parent and child identify new ways of identifying what is really an important priority versus those which can be negotiated. He discusses what it means to have a user-friendly environment both in the home and the school. Our thanks to Ross Greene for giving us the approach that is now changing our child's rage into reason.
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Summary: Wish I'd had this book 6 years ago.
Review: Dr. Greene is 100% right - I've been there. I could have written this book myself. It is excellent to see that a professional has studied these children and has found a common sense, practical approach to handling this unique challange. I love it that now when a parent finds themselves where I did 6 years ago, that parent can now pick up this book and find out how to help their children. Excellent book. Important for school social workers to read ASAP.
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Summary: A must read for parents of challenging children....
Review: This book does a great service for parents and families of hard-to-parent children. It descibes one of my children to a tee. I particularly liked this book for its emphasis on finding ways to help these children become successful, happy children and eventually adults. Parents of these children can become discouraged (I know I have many times). This book keeps them on the road to a successful relationship with their child. When I asked one psychologist why my child acts the way she does, he responded that not every child is easy to raise and that I had gotten one of the more challenging ones. He encouraged me to be creative with the ways in which I handled this child because the usual methods were unlikely to work. This book, The Explosive Child, reinforced this helpful man's advice.
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Summary: Tired parent finds hope in this innovative approach.
Review: Reading Dr. Greene's book is the first exciting development in the treatment for our child in 6 long, tough years. It is the first time that I have encountered a M.H. professional that understands what has been in my heart all along: that he has explosive episodes rooted in frustration that paralyze his thinking ability, and under those circumstances, controls and punishment do more harm than good to a child who "knows" his behavior is unacceptable but does not have the skills to change. He is already in a great deal of pain, and consequences only exacerbate his frustration. Beyond this understanding, the author takes theory into a revolutionary "user friendly" methodology for re-teaching the parents first, the child, school and anyone else in the loop. He does not insult parents by telling them that their inept parenting skills are causal, instead he poses the question: Have your previous methods (usually those encouraged by conventional theories) yielded desirable results; Is your child any better able to avoid explosive behavior? A previous reviewer commented that this book may be too arduous for an exhausted parent to get through. On the contrary, it is was energizing! It was written with extreme patience. This book is a tool for anyone involved with explosive children, especially for professionals who are open to changing their approach to one with promise to be far more effective. Though it is critical of behavioral modification it does not discount the benefits to some children. Permissiveness is not encouraged, if that is the fear of skeptics of this method. The key point is that punishment and rewards have failed over and over again to have any positive impact on inflexible-explosive children. His major premise is that children do not "choose" these behaviors and consequently they cannot choose to change any more than a child with diabetes can choose to change his body chemistry. Instead, by concentrating all effort on the most destructive behavior, a child may be taught the skills he is lacking to deal with frustration. Coherance and logic need to restored first. In time, the other behaviors can be dealt with once his environment is friendlier and not perceived as antagonistic. This method has promise to reunite families, torn apart by rage. Dr. Greene encourages parents and others involved to change their vision of the child as the first step to employing his techniques. This is the point that had the greatest impact on my thinking. My hope is that he is able to change the vision of the mental health system with his approach, enabling more parents the opportunity to access this method.
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