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Summary: Best parenting book for frustrated parents
Review: My mother-in-law, who is a child psychologist, introduced me to this book. She's been using it for years in her practice. I have been irritated by other books that seem to talk exclusively about how to help children while ignoring parents' needs. This book has great real-life examples and doesn't come down on stressed out parents for getting angry or saying dumb things. Instead, it gives practical exercises and rules for helping your relationship. Some of them are hard to do. Habits are hard to change. But it has made a world of difference between me and my 3-year-old. I'm so glad to have read this book so early in her life. I think it will spare us some of the heartache my mother and I experienced, mostly due to poor communication skills.
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Summary: Little Secrets - Luv & Patience
Review: My in-depth study on the psychology of childrens' minds reveal the facts that their attitudes are solely dependent on their circumstances and their upbringing levels at home & school. It's one thing sure any kid require is 'Love, patience & Self Esteem.' Communication is proven skill. Talking n Listening to kids simply doesn't mean communication but Understanding with luv and patience is the key to successful parenting. This book by How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish has even been adopted by many parents in their day to day upbringing of kids. Parenting is made less stressful by the authors as the book deals with coping with parental frustrations and negative attitudes of kids. The child would not develop warm relationship due to damaged sense of self. The need for positive self regard is obvious in the illustrated book. The higher children's self esteem, the more secure, decisive, friendly, trusting, cheerful, optimistic and purposeful they are. Child's willingful cooperation, setting limits, alternate punishments are all the points covered up so effectively that parenting becomes more a joy to bring up kids. The book is a use alone or workshops/parental groups as its excellent exercises will improve ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. Afterall, children need continuity of guidance and when they learn the consequences of their acts, it teaches them to be responsible for what they do. A great reference book for parents on their shelves - bedroom or kitchen, whatever be!
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Summary: great for parenting class
Review: I first read this book as a young parent. I am now a counselor in an inner city school cistrict. I use the book for a parenting class. Most of my parents are single working parents and have little time for anything extra. I like the format of the book because there is homework built right into it, It is easy to read and easy to understand. Some of the other reviews I have read critisized the book for being to simplistic. I believe that what the book is trying to express is a way of looking at our children as individuals with needs and expressions and attitudes. There isn't any book that completly covers all aspects of parenting. This book does a great job of getting parents started on a successful relationship with their children.
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Summary: Do You Know How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen?
Review: My husband and I were introduced to How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, How To Listen So Kids Will Talk by authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish during a parenting course, offered by two intervention specialists, at our local school district. This series occurred approximately five years ago, yet we continue to reap the benefits of this book and the classes. I recommend this book to parents, educators and all whom work with children or adolescents. The content of this publication assists adults toward effective communication technique with children and adolescents. In my view, it is safe to say that the tools you glean will also assist you when communicating with other adults too. Methods introduced in How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, How To Listen So Kids Will Talk are supportive, friendly, positive, and effective. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish offer refreshing approaches toward listening to children (and understanding them). These approaches will foster a relationship of cooperation. In addition to presenting technique, they provide superb examples. These examples serve as an aide,
leaving the reader with clear understanding. My husband I have used many of the suggested communication tools. It is our opinion that the result has been a healthier relationship with our children. They realize that we are listening, in turn providing us with more 'talk'. I am thankful for the tools gleaned from Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
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Summary: Paradigm Shift!!!
Review: I was frustrated and confused. My eight year old son would argue and fight with me on everything. I don't spank and "time-outs" don't work. My son's pediatrician recommended two books: "The Child Whisperer" by Matt Pasquinilli, and "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen..." by Faber and Mazlisch. I read them both in a night. "The Child Whisperer" is simple and to the point - "How we communicate with our children will determine what kind of adults they grow up to be." "How to Talk..." is a wonderfully illustrated, idiot-proof, guide to communicating with children. It worked for me! My son is more respectful, feels more respected, is more pleasant to be with, and we get along great! "The Child Whisperer" taught me to look first at how I was reacting to the behavior of my son, and how to better control myself. "How to Talk..." taught me to use respectful and caring language to open a real line of communication with my son. Thanks!!!
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Summary: A must have book for basic communication for everyone
Review: I have owned this book for several years and have given it as a gift a number of times. It is not a cure all, but it does offer many useful strategies in communicating with your children. For that matter, my (childless) cousin bought it because she heard that it had good strategies for communicating in the work place. That said, it is not always easy to implement. Sometimes bad habits are hard to break, and it helps to have the book on hand for continual reference. I have found myself reading sections over throughout the past few years, as my children get older and I am faced with new challenges. It is, essentially, a reference book that I think every parent should have. Most of the strategies are just practical knowledge that you don't really think about until you see them in black and white. While it does not have all the answers, in combination with other parenting books, it should be on every bookshelf in my opinion.
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Summary: I've seen changes for the better so quickly
Review: It's only a few weeks and my daughter has responded so positively to this method of parenting. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge since it's been such a short time, but I'm just so excited I feel like I found a pot of gold. It's not like my daughter was such a problem child before. She is almost five. She has been a little on the hyper side since she was born. As she has gotten older it has been getting more and more difficult to get her to cooperate, participate, or communicate at home or in preschool. I was desparate to find something that might reverse the trend before it became a real problem. Just as one example... It has always been difficult to get her to clean up after herself. She loves to use scissors and she makes a mess with scraps of paper ending up all over the house and in the baby's mouth. Yesterday, I watched as she cut out a circle from a piece of paper. She put the paper with the hole in it on the table and brought the circle to me to look at. After I admired the circle I said "I noticed you put the piece of paper you cut this from on the table. That was very tidy of you." She smiled and ran back to the table. She noticed there were a few pieces of paper on the floor she had dropped previous to this. She picked them up and put them on the table. She's never done that before without me telling her and usually having to repeat myself over and over! She didn't even look back at me to see if I was watching. In general she seems more relaxed (i.e. not as hyper), happier, and much more confident. I even noticed this morning when I took her to preschool she at once ran over to play with her friends, rather than hanging back shyly and waiting for one of them to come to her like she always has in the past. That was always painful for me to watch. Today, it was so beautiful, I had a lump in my throat. It's not that I think that my parenting style before this was so terrible. For example I always tried to be understanding before, but this book explained to me that some things I did that I thought were understanding were actually not. For example, sometimes my daughter doesn't like some clothes in her closet, even if she helped me pick it out. In the past, I'd say sweetly "You don't like it? It's such a pretty dress. You told me you liked it before. That's why I bought it for you. I don't understand. Tell me why don't you like it now?" I thought I was being very undertanding because I would say it in a sweet pleasant voice and give her the opportunity to explain her side to me. But the end result was always that she would become agitated and she wouldn't wear the dress that day and not for a long time until she forgot she told me she didn't like it. Now I say something like "Oh, you've decided you don't like it anymore. Do you remember when you helped me pick it out? You liked it then, but I see you've changed your mind. Well, I still like it. I think it is so pretty. Maybe you'll change your mind again one day and you'll like it again. So I'll just put it back in the closet just in case." Sometimes the very next day she declares to me that she has changed her mind and she wants to wear the dress that day. Similarly, I always tried to praise whenever I caught her doing something well, but this book has taught me more effective ways to praise and how not to criticize (which I realize only now how much I was doing). I'm so excited, I went out and bought a few other books that explain this type of parenting, like "Parent Effectiveness Training." I haven't read them yet, but when I do, I'll try to write a review.
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Summary: An easy read, a difficult step
Review: I have read this book from cover to cover several times - it's an easy read. But like chess - easy to learn, difficult to achieve mastery. Many of us need to learn methods to use in communication that were not modeled to us as children - a tough call. But with practice, this positive approach to communication will not only help you with your child, but with your spouse, your friends, co-workers, bosses, etc. As a friend, parent and educator, I've given this book away numerous times (and bought it numerous times!)
As for the first review above concerning the particular feedback "You must be so proud of yourself"... In using those words, you also acknowledge your positive feelings towards the child - a double whammy because children learn how to reflect on their own behaviour and give themselves the kudos they may not get in "real life".
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Summary: Helpful parenting book!
Review: This book is very helpful for parents who are having difficulty communicating with their children. The best advice I got was to actually listen to what my children are saying, and to show that I am listening, and let them work out their own problems whenever possible. The book includes exercises and assignments to help parents practice their new skills, and cartoons of various situations the new skills might be put into practice, serving as a handy, quick guide for on-the-spot reference checking. No parent's library shelf should be without this one!
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Summary: Excellent book
Review: This is an excellent book that shows an understanding for the way children think and communicate. We all have a difficult time when our children don't listen. This book will help you figure out why yours might not be paying attention, and what you can do about it. I'd also recommend a new book, HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITH KIDS...EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU SHOULDN'T. It builds on some of the same ideas, but helps parents figure out how to deal with all those daily arguments and conflicts that can be so stressful and irritating. Both these books helped me.
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