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Summary: This book is truly in tune with both babies and parents....
Review: I am the mother of 4 children, including 21 month old twins. Before I started using the No Cry Sleep Solution methods, one or both of my babies was awake every hour all night long. I practice AP (Attachment Parenting) as much as I can, but I could not be an loving, understanding parent to any of my 4 children on the amount of sleep that I was getting. In addition, my babies were often fussy and were obviously overtired. Pantley's methods were perfect for an AP parent like me who wanted to continue to co-sleep with and breastfeed my babies, but who also desperately needed more sleep. I developed a sleep plan based on some of the ideas in the No Cry Sleep Solution, and slowly but surely both babies began to sleep longer stretches, until they eventually started sleeping through the night. I still get fabulous early morning sleep/cuddles with the babies, and I can be a much more effective and loving parent during the day! We are all happier now. You can read more about the test mommies on Pantley's No Cry web-site...I just read the critical review of The No Cry Sleep Solution written by kelly-lcce and I wanted to discuss the points that she brought up from the perspective of an AP parent who has actually used the methods in the book. 1. She says that Pantley's recommendation to use a "lovey" is wrong because it means parents are trying to force their children into an attachment to an object instead of a person. But Pantley clearly states in the book that a lovey doesn't take your place, instead it helps the baby feel safe when you can't be with him (no parent can be with their child 24 hours a day). One of my twins uses a lovey (none of the others did/do), and we have wonderfully close relationship. 2. kelly-lcce states that "none of the benefits of co-sleeping were covered at all" and that there is very little on helping a baby/child co-sleep soundly. This is simply not true. Pantley herself co-slept with each of her 4 children and she even recommends a book on Attachment Parenting to help parents understand this choice. And there is an entire section on helping co-sleeping babies to sleep better (p. 130-136). I have co-slept with all of my four children (and still do when they need me, or I need them!), and I felt that Pantley's book was very supportive of parents who make this choice. 3. kelly-lcce says there is no value judgment on breast vs. bottle, and that Pantley should have said that the advantages of breastmilk outweigh the disadvantages. It is true that Pantley does not "judge" those who bottlefeed (by choice or necessity) - I think that is one of the strongest selling points of this book - the author is accepting of numerous different choices that parents and babies make. However it is also very clear that Pantley breastfed all four of her children well into their toddler years - this fact speaks clearly of her thoughts on the subject. 4. kelly-lcce says that Pantley's use of the concept of "flexible schedule" is very similar to that presented in BabyWise. I just looked up "flexible" in the index of the book and immediately found several paragraphs on how important it is to listen to baby's cues. Pantley's goal is to help parents "Follow a Flexible Yet Precitable Daytime Routine" (again the subject heading of a section). There is even a quote from me in the book about how, with my twins, I have a vague structure to my day, but I pay close attention to the each baby's unique cues to tell me when they are tired (p. 108). 5. kelly-lcce says that holding a sleeping baby is one of her favorite things of being a parent, and that Pantley's book strongly discourages this. Pantley says "There is nothing- absolutely nothing - as endearing and wonderful as a newborn baby falling asleep in your arms or at your breast" (p. 70). She says that in a perfect world where mothers had no other responsibilities, it would be ideal for babies to always fall asleep in their mother's arms. But since our world is not perfect, it is a good idea to gently and slowly help baby learn to go to sleep in his bed. Pantley says that like her, you may choose sometimes (or often) to let baby sleep in your arms and, "when you don't put him down...hold him with your heart, too, and relish every gurgle, every flutter, every sighing breath. Trust me when I say, "you will miss this (p.72-73)." She's right! 6. kelly-lcce didn't like the section on getting a baby to go to sleep in the crib without mom or dad, because it seemed like Ferber sleep training to her, "just minus the crying". Well isn't that the point? To acheive better sleep for baby and parents gently, without crying? This particular section is obviously not meant for co-sleeping families who disapprove of cribs, but in typical Pantley fasion, is accepting of the variety of choices that good parents make. 7. kelly-lcce felt like the first half of the book where the author discusses the needs of babies is disregarded in the second "solution" half of the book, and that this is just a sleep training book. I'm not quite sure in what ways Kelly-Icce thinks that babies' needs are being disregarded, because the most important strain throughout the book is that parents need to be in tune with their baby's needs, AS WELL AS their own needs. This book is not meant for parents who are happy with their sleep situation as it exists. In the beginning of the book Pantley asks the reader to consider whether or not her baby's sleep habits are actually problematic and disruptive of family life, or if it is simply the "sleep-through-the-night" expectations that were troublesome. Clearly kelly-lcce did not respond well to this book because she feels her chidren's sleep habits are not disruptive of her family life. For others, like me with my night-waking twins and two other young children, the No Cry Sleep Solution was the perfect way to fine-tune my needs with those of my babies, making us all much happier.
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Summary: Really, it works!
Review: I didn' think it would. My son was 2 months old when I used the suggestions in Ms. Pantley's book. Since he was a newborn, I was starting from scratch. I had used a certain "crying it out" method with my eldest daughter and was a complete and absolute wreck! I had no trouble easing my son into "good" sleep habits after reading this book. The friendly and warm tone of the book made it easy to read and understand. It takes time and patience but it is well worth it. My now almost 2-year-old still has no problems falling asleep for naps or bedtime! Ms. Pantley is an angel!
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Summary: Enlightening the tired parent
Review: The minute I held my daughter for the first time, I knew I was in for a hell of a ride. She was cranky, never slept normally, constantly hungry...you name it. My milk didnt come in that easily the first few weeks, I had sever anxiety and depression and on top of that I hadnt slept a wink in weeks. Now any parent who can relate to the above paragraph knows how tiring it can be to run around 24/7, feeding, changing and soothing your child. After a long day, you just want to get some Sleeeeeeep! I found this book ( and Elizabeths tips ) to be very useful. Elizabeth Pantley knows that there is going to be diversity in every family. She came up with a clever way of taking "Test Mommies" experiences and incorporated them right into her book.
That way, every parent can relate on there own level. As I read further into the book, I realized there isnt going to be just one approach to putting your child to sleep. The No-Cry Sleep Solution helped me develop a sense of comfort and routine. I suggest this book to anyone who is in need of a better solution to their childrens sleep habits.
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Summary: Might Not Be Right For An Attachment Parenting Family
Review: I bought this book because I'm one of those moms who really hasn't slept in years due to children who wake very frequently. I'm very interested in a sleep solution that will help my children sleep. We use "Attachment Parenting" and were told that this book was very AP oriented. This book was not as helpful as I had hoped, and was not as AP oriented as I would have liked. My major concerns are these: 1. The author gives very strong encouragement to introduce a "lovey" to get baby attached to, so baby can be comforted by lovey instead of mom. She even goes so far as to recommend putting the lovey *between* mom and baby when nursing, cuddling etc. [very symbolic IMO!] This really bugs me... I feel so strongly that our babies should be learning to attach to people, not things. I am truly, deeply uncomfortable with the idea of trying to force my child to become attached to an object so that he will be comforted by that object instead of me. 2. While not anti-family bed, she does basically say in the second half of the book that if you are co-sleeping you will have more nightwaking. She has a whole section on "transitioning your baby to a crib" and comparatively little on helping a baby/child cosleep and sleep soundly. She also says something to the effect that you can cosleep as long as you want, but that you should be prepared to endure more night waking if you do cosleep. None of the benefits of cosleeping were covered at all. I really kind of felt like cosleeping was being blamed as a cause of night waking and I don't really think that's true - I've seen too much anecdotal evidence of my cosleeping friends who have children who sleep 10 or 12 hours straight right there beside them. 3. Similarly, breastfeeding is sort of pointed to as a cause of night waking. Yes, a breastfed baby does wake more often to eat. But this book places _no_ value judgement on breast or bottle feeding - never once does she even note "though breastfed babies wake more often to eat, many mothers feel that the benefits of breastmilk over formula outweigh this factor by a huge measure" or anything like that. A new mom reading this book could *easily* think "well, I should just switch to a bottle and then I'll get some sleep!". I'm so uncomfortable with that. [And there are plenty of breastfed babies that DO sleep through the night after they are through the newborn stage]. 4. There is very strong encouragement to put baby on a schedule. She emphasizes a "flexible schedule". I really hate to point this out, but I've read _Babywise_ several times ["know thy enemy"] and Ezzo's language is almost identical - he emphasizes what he calls a "flexible schedule". In fact, several things in this book echoed Babywise to my brain, which may account for my discomfort [justified or not justified!]. Not that I'm totally against a schedule, but as an AP parent I really think it is more useful to watch baby's cues... 5. There is strong discouragement from holding a sleeping baby. Pantley says this is undoubtedly a cause of nightwaking and should only be done very rarely if at all [for "special moments", but not as a routine]. I have enjoyed holding both my children as they slept for naps - its one of my favorite things - and if I have to give that up to get them to sleep at night, then I guess I just won't be sleeping until they are off to college or whatever. In my mind, this book absolutely & strongly contradicts the AP tradition of carrying baby in a soft carrier much of the time. 6. I also didn't like the whole section on training your baby to go back to sleep in the crib without you. It outlines a bunch of steps that begins with "pick him up", later you stop picking up and just place a hand on his back, then you just speak to him, then you speak to him from outside the door but don't go in, etc. This sounds much like Ferber sleep training to me, just minus the crying [and taking longer to acheive the same goal]. 7. I felt like the author gave a lot of lip service to the "needs" of babies and how and why they wake, etc in the first half of the book [I was truly impressed in fact]. But then she totally disregards those things in the second half of her book under her "solutions" chapters. She says she is giving ideas to "encourage" baby to sleep [which I liked], but in truth, I really feel that this is just another "sleep training" book, albiet a MUCH nicer alternative to the "cry it out" methods. Some of her other ideas are very helpful, though we are doing almost everything else she lists already, to no avail. This book gives a very good explanation of why it is not a good idea to let babies "Cry It Out". I think it would be extremely helpful to families that are struggling with that decision. This review is not meant as a criticism of *anyone* who uses this method - different things work for different families. I know that many families have had great luck with this program and are very happy with it. But for AP families, I think it is only fair to warn that this might not neccessarily be the answer it is hyped up to be.
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Summary: Love this book!
Review: Just to let you know, this book is so worth it. I have bought several books on sleeping through the night, and this one tops them all in my opinion. I loved it! This is my first online review, but I felt I really needed to because I couldn't of been happier with this book. The author writes very compassionately and with wonderful ideas that can be taylored to your baby or child. I highly recognmend it! Thanks Elizebeth for a wonderful book.
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Summary: I am SOOOOO glad I found this book!!
Review: I cannot say enough about this book. It seems that everything I heard and read before finding this book just said "Put him in his crib while he's still awake and let him fall asleep on his own." Ya, right, like that would EVER happen! I was desperate to find something and someone who did not advocate letting my precious son cry himself to sleep in our attempts to help him sleep through the night. I couldn't bear to hear him cry even for a few moments, so the thought of letting him cry until he gave up and went to sleep literally broke my heart. I was in tears as I began reading this book, not only was I SO tired, but finding (at last!) someone that knew exactly what I was going through seemed like a miracle. Finally, someone who knew how incredibly difficult it is to be sleep deprived, but who also knew that I would choose my own sleep deprivation over my son crying himself to sleep. But there was more, here was someone telling me I didn't have to choose to be a walking zombie in order to prevent my son from "crying it out." Finally, some answers and strategies that were kind, gentle, gradual and, most of all, made so much sense. They seemed to fall in line exactly with my own parenting philosophy and at last I thought, I can do this! I have to admit I was skeptical, I thought "There is no way this is going to work this well for MY baby," but sure enough, after 10 days my son went from waking up SIXTEEN times during the night to a blissful four times. I feel alive for the first time in weeks, able to enjoy my wonderful boy, and full of renewed committment to continue with our sleep plan. Please, if you are about to give up and let your precious baby cry him/herself to sleep against your better judgement, this is the book for you. And don't lose faith if it seems to get worse before it gets better. The first few days on this plan it really did seem to be getting worse, but then suddenly, it all clicked, my son is falling asleep on his own and I am no longer sneaking naps at work! I cannot recommend this book highly enough!
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Summary: This book saved my life and my sanity !!!!
Review: This book is awesome. As the sleep-less mother of a sweet 8 month old who nursed and woke the entire night, I can say this book worked wonders for us.
Our son woke about 8-10 times a night, having to nurse everytime, in order to fall back to sleep. His naps were anywhere from 20 - 40 min long. I was going crazy, but not crazy enough to let him Cry-it-out, something I just could never do.
Then I bought this book and our lives have definately changed for the better. Within 2 days his night wakings have gone down from 10 to 2 and his naps from 40 min. to 90 min. He is currently learnig how to go to sleep by himself. All this improvement happened completely without tears, and rather naturally. On top of all this book is written in an easy-to-read, humorous style.
This book keeps it's promise !
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Summary: Sanity Returns to Bedtime
Review: Pantley's method is at least as effective as the cry-it-out method, and it does none of the damage caused by the cry-it-out method. This is an excellent, clearly written book. It is also part of a new genre of books that teach us how to protect our relationships with our children while getting them to behave. The finest example of this approach is probably Lawrence Kelemen's TO KINDLE A SOUL, but others are appearing on the market now. See Kelemen's book to see how Pantley's approach can be used in all areas of childraising.
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Summary: Finally an answer that works for mom AND baby!
Review: When I discovered Elizabeth's approach to helping my daughter sleep through the night, she was waking every 2 hours and we were both just exhausted!! After carefully working step by step through Elizabeth's program, she goes to bed in her room for most of the night. She wakes up once for a quick nursing and to snuggle the rest of the night with me and her Daddy. We enjoy that snuggle time for those few hours until we get up. This is a truly gentle approach that works! I just couldn't bear to let my little girl cry it out and thanks to Elizabeth, I didn't have to! A MUST HAVE for first time moms!
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Summary: This book really helped!
Review: My 9 month old was sleeping only in 1.5-2 hour chunks. We've just started with the no-cry program and it's already helping dramatically. He's going 5-6 hours after only a few days and I really believe it's going to keep getting better--I can see the difference in the way he falls asleep and when I see him toss and turn and go back to sleep. I am so greatful to Elizabeth Pantley for useable, practical suggestions for those of us who just don't believe the Farber approach will work for our children. I'll be recommending this book wholeheartedly every chance I get.
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