The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Rating:
Summary: The best book on marriage
Review: Whether you`re newlyweds or have been married for 15 years,this book will make your relationship with your spouse closer and more satisfying.A truely different approach here,much better than that "men are from mars,women are from venus" hogwash.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent And Practical Marriage Advice
Review: Noted marriage researcher John Gottman has written a very good and practical book full of genuine insights into marriages, and specifically why some work and others fail. The book itself is of great use to anyone married, contemplating marriage, or on the brink of divorce. I recommend that the book be read even by people in solid marriages to prevent a future derailment, but of course the book will primarily be read by people in struggling marriages.

The difference between this book and most other marriage counseling books is that it is scientifically and empirically based. Gottman debunks many myths including the myth that most divorces are the results of affairs; in fact he conclusively demonstrates that most affairs are symptoms of a failing marriage, and not the cause.

The two best chapters in the book are chapters two and seven. Chapter two deals with predicting divorce (which he is quite good at) and presents sobering warning signs of pending failures as well as methods to cope with the specific problems. Chapter seven deals with the two types of marital problems, and was frankly why I bought the book: this chapter is excellent for engaged couples to read together prior to marriage. Gottman explodes the myth that all problems are solvable and can be dealt with using effective compromise: the sections on "perpetual problems" and gridlock are particularly insightful and helpful. I also found the afterword to be especially practical.

The book is insightful, fact-based, and helpful for people contemplating marriage or in a marriage of any quality. I was torn between five stars and four, and eventually settled on four because I found a few of the exercises to not be especially helpful, but that is a relatively minor point; the text is worth five stars throughout, and I highly recommend this book.


Rating:
Summary: Good return on your dime
Review: I've read the book and attended his weekend workshop with my wife to be. His guidance helped us understand conflict we were experiencing and gave us practical direction on how to work through it, and build a stronger imperfect relationship.

Although his research is discussed and is the foundation for his advice, this book was written to be engaging and influence the lay reader. Look elsewhere if you want a deep dive into his research.

Rating:
Summary: gluttony of books that want to oversimplify relationships
Review: It seems as if there is a gluttony of books that want to oversimplify complex processes (marriage, family, and parenting). Just look at many of the top sellers. You will see things like Seven Principles, Step-by-Step Plans, The Ultimate this and that. I am a marriage and family therapist and previewed The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work as a potential resource for the couples I work with. Sure, the principles are sound and they are common knowledge (nothing new here), but the depth detail is lacking. This falls into the category of one of those fad books that are fun to read but unlikely to result in healthy long term benefit. I think, and this is often an un-politically correct statement, we should avoid those easy answers and dare to explore the complexities that are associated with success. There are few books on the market that I think do this well. Compare "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" to another book like "Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture" and you will see what I'm talking about. Systemic Parenting is both entertaining and deals with the depth of the subject. I think I would rather recommend the latter book to the couples that come into my office than the former. Don't let the name fool you, Systemic Parenting is about relationships and it is probably one of the most detailed books out there. I would forgo The Seven Principles unless you are looking for entertaining, but empty information.
Kay

Rating:
Summary: Work together.
Review: This book concentrates on communication in marriage and provides guidelines for working with your partner. The optimistic tone makes it a pleasant and easy read. I feel that it has helped us to understand each other better.

Rating:
Summary: Just do it
Review: Clear understanding. I suggest anybody interested in improving their marriage o the couple to read this book. Sure, I just read it now, but the very things that I have done to make my marriage successful are the things mentioned in this book.
Following the principles outlined in this book is easier and effective.


And if you like many different ideas and techniques about sex and love buy Sex and the perfect lover, the Tantra by Mabel Iam.

Rating:
Summary: is very good
Review: This is a great book on how to maintain a marriage but did not have much on how to enhance a marital relationship beyond just keeping it together (although I realize that this is an important first step). If you really want to know how to develop a true loving relationship beyond just keeping it together.

I also recommended a great guide for a marital relationship Sex and the perfect lover by Mabel Iam

Rating:
Summary: Not the usual rhetoric- much better!
Review: There are some surprises in this book for those of you who've read the "other" books and think you have an idea on what makes a healthy marriage. I think John Gottman has some very important and key issues to relationship success and growth figured out. I am recommending this book to my friends and co-workers.

Rating:
Summary: Very good marriage advice
Review: This is one of my favorite books on marriage! I treally gives you great perspective on your own relationship and ideas about how to keep it together. If you want to take your relationship one more step beyond just trying to keep it together, I'd highly recommend this. It is an excellent book.

Rating:
Summary: A Real Guide to What Works in Relationships for Real People
Review: I really appreciated the consistency and clarity this book offers couples
who are interested in having relationships that are successful and
satisfying. The fact that Gottman has spent years researching the
principles that make marriages work using a thorough, scientific approach,
AND that he and his wife, also a psychologist, have developed a couples
therapy together from this research, gives this book a legitimacy,
objectivity and genuine care on the author's part that I have not seen in
many other books about relationships. Right from the start, (and throughout
the book), Gottman discusses how happy and successful marriages are not
necessarily free of conflict and tension, where individuals never have
negative thoughts about their partners (or themselves, for that matter).
Rather, he observes that marriages that work are based on a basic friendship
and respect for each other. A theme I noticed in this foundation for
marriage, and in the seven principles, is one of partnership and alliance
between husbands and wives, a sense that they are on each other's side,
rather than two individuals with opposing interests. I like that this
book explores the principles that make marriages work, rather than the
things that make them fail. For anyone who enjoys Gottman's book, I also
highly recommend Working on Your Relationship Doesn't Work, by Ariel & Shya
Kane. This book also offers exercises and anecdotes about the authors'
approach to what makes relationships not only successful and satisfying, but
also magical.