Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry

Rating:
Summary: One of the best pre-marriage books on the market!
Review: As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I highly recommend this book. My husband and I went through it together after being married less than a year and it was a GREAT resource and still is a great reminder of how to keep our marriage working well. I especially enjoyed the chapter on how to fight a good fight- because we ALL do it and need help in not damaging our relationships for the long haul in the process of working out our differences. I use this book (and the workbook) for many of the couples I counsel and find it hits most of the important areas and is an easy read. I actually think it has helpful information for most couples, not the only pre-married.

Rating:
Summary: To be read with your future-to-be.
Review: As a part of informal marriage preparation, my boyfriend and I have thoroughly read this book together word by word. The content of the book made us realize more points to consider than we thought and discovered more things about each other. I have highly recommended this book for my friends who are getting married. I also recommend reading this book together with honey-to-be.

Rating:
Summary: Best Marriage Preparation Book
Review: As a pastor of 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. This is the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.

I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.

Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book.

Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage. This is practical, hands on material.

The book is arranged around 7 questions: Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? and Are you and your partner soul mates?

Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.

If a couple follows the exercises by purchasing the workbooks, (like identifying some of your own personal "commandments"--rules you live by that you picked up who knows where and expect your spouse to know and agree with), it could preclude many potential tensions later.

This book could also be used as a marriage enrichment manual. Indeed, many couples (perhaps most) have probably failed to incorporate these solid principles. Indeed, several couples I counseled have identified this exercise as having made a significant difference in their marriages.

To those of you considering marriage, go through this book together, and cosider at least some of the exercises in the workbooks. To pastors and Christian counselors, I urge you to read this volume and consider using it!

Rating:
Summary: Best Marriage Preparation Book
Review: As a pastor of 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. This is the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.

I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.

Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book.

Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage. This is practical, hands on material.

The book is arranged around 7 questions: Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? and Are you and your partner soul mates?

Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.

If a couple follows the exercises by purchasing the workbooks, (like identifying some of your own personal "commandments"--rules you live by that you picked up who knows where and expect your spouse to know and agree with), it could preclude many potential tensions later.

This book could also be used as a marriage enrichment manual. Indeed, many couples (perhaps most) have probably failed to incorporate these solid principles. Indeed, several couples I counseled have identified this exercise as having made a significant difference in their marriages.

To those of you considering marriage, go through this book together, and cosider at least some of the exercises in the workbooks. To pastors and Christian counselors, I urge you to read this volume and consider using it!

Rating:
Summary: A great resource for marriage problem prevention
Review: As an Author, Coach, and Motivational Speaker I read a lot of books about people, their motivations, and their relationships. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is an honest, straight forward, and personal journey to a healthy marriage. It's an excellent relationship book and I give it an A+.

The Parrott's share their personal relationship journey with all the challenges, confusion, and celebration that a relationship can bring. They ask and explore seven powerful questions and illustrate them with their experiences with each. They then provide practical solutions that you can implement to help you create, improve, and enhance your marriage.

The seven questions are:

1. Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty?
Happily ever after only comes with working on your marriage.

2. Can you identify your love style?
We each give and receive love differently. Is your partner actually hearing the I Love You's you send their way?

3. Have you developed the habit of happiness?
I loved their line about the right attitude in spite of atmospheric conditions.

4. Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear?
Too many times we talk around the problem and then only hear our preconceived notions about the responses we receive.

5. Have you bridged the gender gap?
Men and Women are different! If you don't get a clue about how and why you're in for a hard, hard time of it.

6. Do you know how to fight a good fight?
Skip the theatrics, defensiveness, and low-blows. Conflict in a relationship is natural and you can deal with it positively by being honest and respectful with your mate.

7. Are you and your partner soulmates?
"Tending to the spiritual dimension of marriage is what unites couples in unbreakable bonds."

I recommend you get a copy of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts whether you're single, engaged, or married. It will prepare you for a great relationship that lasts a lifetime.

Rating:
Summary: Easy read w/ valid points//Excerts are from Workbook
Review: First off, the excerpts (table of contents, page and backcover) above are from the workbook, not the book.

The book was a very easy and quick read. I have suggested it to a number of friends as I feel it brings up some valid points and can be used as a spring board to further discussion. Too many people marry without talking about what they are getting into and expecting. The book talks about the myths of marriage, the ebb and flow of relationships, expectations, and ends with a discussion on faith and religion in marriage. That is in the last chapter and can be skipped if you are not religeous and/or shy away from "Christian" stuff. The rest of the book only touches on faith as it relates to the authors description of an event.

The book was written in '95 and mentions much of the relationship self help stuff from that era. The authors are married, and they give examples from thier own marriage, as well as from other couples they have counseled. There are out-quotes, places to pause for discussion, and a few diagrams.

As someone else mentioned, the book does make you feel as if you have to get the workbooks to get a complete picture. You don't. I thought they were overpriced for what they are, although they too can help in discussion, especially if you aren't doing any other than what color flowers to get and what kind of limo you want. The excercises range from really simple ratings (on a scale of 1 to 5, how improtant is the following to you, do alone and compare and discuss) to more time consuming stuff (what unwritten rules do you have?). I found out in one excercie that my honey expects me to do 80% of the childrearing, while I expected we'd be closer to 60/40.

Part of it is intuitive stuff, part of it is stuff that you might think, "I hadn't thought of it that way". If you're reading about this book, congrats and Good luck!

Rating:
Summary: This book helped my husband realize he was ready...
Review: Having counseled many couples in 20 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for persons to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!

One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance the relationship with his/her "significant other." The Parrotts also have video tapes available to use in a seminar or as part of pre-marital or post-marital counseling. This book is definitely one to own!

Rating:
Summary: Best Book on Marital, Interpersonal Relationships!!!
Review: Having counseled many couples in 20 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for persons to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!

One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance the relationship with his/her "significant other." The Parrotts also have video tapes available to use in a seminar or as part of pre-marital or post-marital counseling. This book is definitely one to own!

Rating:
Summary: This book helped my husband realize he was ready...
Review: He bought it without my knowledge after we'd been dating for a month (and friends for a year). He spent lots of late nights agonizing over what it said about love being a commitment more than an emotion. He decided that I fit the criteria for the wife he needed and he was ready to make that commitment.

After we got engaged (2 months later), I read the book, and then we went back through it together. We discussed the love triangle and how our relationship worked. It really helped us learn to communicate about our relationship. Plus, reading the authors' stories have helped us know what mistakes to avoid, from the man's and woman's perspective.

It's very easy to read too.

Rating:
Summary: A Must for Couples
Review: I am a minister and a marriage counselor. I am currently giving each couple who counsels with me a copy of this book and Michael Webb's The RoMANtic's Guide. Long after the couple forgets what I have told them, hopefully they will have these two books to look back upon to remind them of the essential ingredients necessary for a happy marriage. If you are thinking about getting married, buy both these books. If you are already married and aren't 100 percent blissfully in love, buy these books. You'll thank me for telling you.