The New Dare to Discipline

Rating:
Summary: There are better ways.
Review: While Dobson isn't as bad as the Pearls, there are better ways to discipline your children. I can't imagine Jesus ever striking a child for any reason, so why should I? My children are taught by my example, and with firmness, but never with physical punishment. There just isn't any reason for it at all.

Rating:
Summary: An evil approach to child rearing
Review: This book should be called, "Dare to be Abusive"! This guy's advise on child rearing is evil! Books like this should be boycotted!

Rating:
Summary: The New Dare to Discipline
Review: Hitting kids has always been a favorite sport for the religious and political right. Intimidating and brutalizing children apparently makes these folks feel authoritative, powerful, important, self-righteous and firmly in control. James Dobson's new book is even more draconian than its predecessor. It's truly frightening! Yet it's important to note that Dobson and his followers do not reflect authentic Christian values. In Jesus' words, these are the false prophets. Dobson takes the thinking of a far-right, almost Fascist, political philosophy and cloaks it in Christian language. Anyone who takes seriously Jesus' Sermon on the Mount will immediately spot the fraudulence of Dobson's counsel. It's inconcivable that Jesus of Nazareth-- compassionate as he was toward the weak and powerless--would ever sanction or participate in violence toward children. I give the book a negative five.

Rating:
Summary: Child Abuse!
Review: I leafed through a copy of this book at a woman's house today and am SHOCKED that this book is even in print. Do the world a favor and buy a Sears and Sears book instead. This book literally made me sick to my stomach. I feel so sorry for all the children being raised by this book and for the parents who have fallen prey to this type of "advice."

Rating:
Summary: A "Christian" Approach?
Review: Mr. Dobson's philosophy, if it is even worthy of being called such, is easily shattered. How can one teach a child not to hit by hitting them? Really, parents come on now, are we all that blind? Science has proven time and time again that hitting a child does nothing but cause emotional and physical damage. Also, how can this book be Christian when Dobson calls children vicious names like tyrants. Jesus obviously felt different when He said that no one would enter Heaven unless he first became like a child...Additionally, Jesus teaches again that it is wrong to hurt a child when He says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Now, how many of you would like to be hit upon your buttocks (which of course is an erogenous area, no matter what the age according to study) whenever you commit a wrong? Again, "let He who is without sin cast the first stone" In compliance with the Proverbs scripture about "the rod", that particular word was translated from the Hebrew word "shebet" which means a sceptor to lead, not a stick to hit. If it had, "mewcar" would have been used. Dobson's approach has just been proven completely unstable. Maybe this was more of a lesson on proper parenting than a review of the book, but those who would buy this book need a lesson on parenting.

Rating:
Summary: Spank and Pray, Spank and Pray
Review: My neighbor gave me a copy of this book when my kids were small, and I was APPALLED.

Dobson's entire philosophy could be boiled down to this: spank and pray, spank and pray. Is the praying supposed to assuage one's guilt over what is essentially bullying a small child?

I was also very disturbed by his many allusions to incest and began to find Dobson's obsession with that subject positively creepy.

Look anywhere else but here for advice if you're a parent. This book is evil.

Rating:
Summary: How to produce obedient citizens
Review: This book outlines the prevailing Fundamentalist Christian program for a strict patriarchial family where kids are taught to tow the line and become obedient through corporal punishment. The method of the book is aimed at producing obedient rather than critically questioning people. The basic method proposed is the use of corporal punishment. One can say that we have here Dobson vs. Spock, a conservative reaction to racial integration and anti-war protests of the sixties, activities that motivated the introduction of 'Christian schools' in the south.

As an American who's lived and lectured extensively in different European countries, I observe that many Americans suffer from an arrogant ignorance of the rest of the world. In contrast with the fundamentalist patriarchial program (shared by Fundamentalist Muslims as well as Fundamentalist Christians), consider Scandinavia. Scandinavia has the lowest crime rate in the world. There, a parent can go to jail for hitting a child. Words and behavioral example, not beating, produce good people and a good society. The culture is democratic, freedom-loving, basically nonreligious, not very Christian in any formal sense (fortunately, Rome never reigned in Scandinavia). Unwed mothers and their kids are normal members of the community (unwed fathers automatically pay heavily financially to support their children). The region is socialistic in the sense that no one lives in poverty, everyone has healthcare. People own guns (hunting is popular) but murder is rare. One can compare Canada favorably with Scandinavia in several ways. My main point is that teaching kids to be peaceful and nonviolent produces a society like Scandinavia where the crime rate is low, whereas hitting kids has produced the present American society with one of the highest crime rates in the world. Dobson's teachings fly in the face of these facts. My second point is that Fundamentalist Christians in America have more in common with Islamic Fundamentalists than with tolerant, democratic peoples like Europeans. Just ask yourself, with whom is George Bush (Jr. or Sr.) more comfortable: with a democratic leader like Gerhard Schröder, or with a dictatorial Saudi prince?

Neo-conservatives and Christian Fundamentalists have led us into militant authoritarianism. The consequence is the Iraq War, which was based on lies about WMD. Islamic Fundamentalists die for Jihad believing that, in heaven, they will be rewarded with 75 virgins. Fundamentalist ideology is producing war in the world, and Dobson's book encourages the obedience required for making war. For a description of the prevailing American conservative ideology and its origin in the assumption of a strict patriarchy, an extremist interpretation of family values, see George Lakoff's 'Moral Politics'. For an implicitly neo-con book that is in basic agreement with Dobson's drive to produce obedient rather than critically-thinking citizens, see Alan Bloom's 'The Closing of the American Mind'. And for a book that explodes the myth that unregulated markets produce the best economic result, see my recent book "Dynamics of Markets".


Rating:
Summary: A fine resource for Christian (or any) parents
Review: Dare to Discipline is full of practical, nuts-and-bolts advice and is written in an engaging conversational style. Dr. Dobson combines biblical wisdom, psychological research, and common sense to strike a healthy balance between permissiveness and excessive discipline. Any family, Christian or otherwise, would benefit from having this book on its shelf.

Despite the book's many positive qualities, however, I give it only four stars, because it is not, in my opinion, as useful as The Strong-Willed Child, also by Dobson. I say this for three reasons.

First, Dare to Discipline (DD) is lighter than Strong-Willed Child (SWC). Both books are very readable, but SWC manages to convey more insights in fewer pages.

Second, DD recycles a lot of material from SWC. Dobson repeats many anecdotes, sometimes word for word.

Third, DD is less focused than SWC. The first half of the book is very organized, giving four principles of commonsense parenting, five principles for implementing incentives, and so on. But as the book progresses, the author has less and less to say about specific parenting techniques, and more and more to say about the disarray of our schools, the poor reasoning behind "safe sex" programs, and so on. These are important things for parents and teachers to understand, of course, but in this book the author's commentaries sometimes get in the way of the practical advice that the reader expects. Dobson really should have written two books, one about discipline, the other a companion piece about our cultural situation.

I also find it odd that, while DD says a great deal about dealing with slow learners, it has little or nothing to say about raising talented and gifted children, even though they also present unique challenges and are present in the population in exactly the same proportions as their slower counterparts.

I do not mean to denigrate Dare to Discipline. It is a fine book and I would happily commend it to any parent or teacher. But if one had to choose between the two books, I would recommend The Strong-Willed Child. It is simply more useful, as I say in my review of that book on this site. Ideally, however, one should read both books. They have the same message and the repeated material will reinforce the most important points. You can always count on Dobson to be practical, engaging, and wise.

Rating:
Summary: GoKidsGrow LLC reviews "Dare to Discipline"
Review: If you don't know who Dr. James Dobson is, I can some him up as a spiritual and influential person known for taking a stance for family values. He certainly comes with some controversy as readers/listeners to his program (Focus on the Family) typically fall on one side of the topic or the other with respect to his views. Regardless of whether you choose to follow Dr. Dobson's recommendations or not, significant decisions (and I feel choosing a strategy for disciplining your children is a significant decision) should come as the result of an educated decision. In this context, I use the term "educated" to mean the culmination of information from our personal values (which is the result of our experiences influenced by those that were close to us in our impressionable years) as well as some genuine research that may come from informal discussions with others you respect and varying points of view offered by renowned experts in the field (i.e. books and media).

With this perspective in mind, I recommend reading Dr. Dobson's book "Dare to Discipline" as he offers many facts and testimonials for which his recommendations are based.

The simple fact that you are considering this book and reading this review is testimonial to your willingness to take an active part in your child's development. There is no more noble cause and we at GoKidsGrow LLC salute you. All the best to you and yours.