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Summary: Perfect child, wounded adult
Review: My parents are loving and consistent Christians who used these techniques to raise me. They never hit in anger or because they were frustrated. They always hit me in love, immediately and consistently. Because of this, I was a perfectly obedient child who always obeyed instantly and displayed a good attitude. My parents were often complimented by other church members on how obedient their children were.Those were the immediate, visible results. But I also grew up emotionally numb -- unable to recognize or feel my own feelings. Intense feelings, long suppressed, felt dangerous and scary. I resorted to hurting myself physically (as my parents had) in order to keep my feelings at bay. I grew up to be a driven perfectionist, afraid to make mistakes and unable to allow myself to rest. I grew up unable to say "no" to people who loved me but also used me, dominated me and even hit me. I had no concept of personal, healthy boundaries. Love and physical force were inseparable. I have been spending my adulthood trying to re-parent myself and learn many skills I should have learned as a child to enable me to be a healthy adult. The outcome of successful parenting is not perfect, cheerful obedience; it is healthy, functional adults. Not hitting doesn't mean not providing limits and consequences. The either-or image of spanked children and out-of-control children as the only two options is a false dichotomy. Try providing loving, consistent limits without violence.
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Summary: THE CRUDE, BIGGER-HAMMER TECHNIQUE FOR PARENTING
Review: James Dobson advocates what can only be described as the "bigger-hammer technique" when it comes to parenting. If your kid misbehaves, hit them instantly. Also, says James, watch out for "passive rebellion", which, according to James, is anything less than a joyous attitude displayed by your child when he or she is complying with your orders. Now think about that for a second, folks. You tell your kid what to do and she does it. However, you detect a hint of resentment in their tone, a shadow crosses their face ... she does not seem to be obeying with sufficient alacrity. Now remember, she is, in fact, OBEYING. However, according to James, if the child resents you for giving them orders, then that's not true submission on the part of the child. When faced with a situation like this, James thinks it is o.k. to punish the child ... FOR HOW THE CHILD FEELS. I don't think that's o.k. NOT AT ALL. Further, a parent should remember that the child's emotions belong to the child, not to the parent. If your kid wants to feel bad about having to wash the dishes rather than watch t.v., fine, let them. You have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to tell another human being how to feel about anything. If they are obeying you, and treating you with basic common courtesy, even if they do seem a bit put-out about the whole thing, then you have no right to complain, and you certainly don't have a right to lash out at the child. If the child wants to feel disappointed, or even resentful, about having to do a chore rather than relax, well then that's the kid's perogative. Learning to deal with our emotions, particularly when we are faced with a difficult choice or responsibility, is part of growing up. The parent does ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD by teaching a child to hide their true feelings and pretend to be happy, just to placate the powers that be. Parents, you do have the right to make rules for your child and discipline them when those rules are broken. However, hitting should always be a last resort, if it is used at all. Loss of privileges, being sent to their room, etc., these are effective, non-violent discipline techniques. If you want to read a good book written by a moral conservative about child-rearing, try "All About Raising Children" by Helen Andelin. She's as conservative as they come, and yet amazingly, she treats kids as though they are individual human beings who are worthy of simple dignity and simple respect. Her husband, Aubrey Andelin, authored the book "Man of Steel and Velvet" which, while not addressing child-rearing directly, did point out an example of a parent punishing a child in a violent fashion. This example was descibed by the author as being "crude". That's a good descriptive term for the "bigger-hammer technique" when it comes to parenting. Crude.
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Summary: I should be sending Dobson my therapy bills
Review: If you want to render your kids deeply unhappy, confused, and fearful of you and the world, this will do it. ... The application of Dobson's techniques and outlook by unthinking, unreflective adults who sincerely thought they were doing their best for me wrecked my relationship with them, my confidence, and my sense of inner well-being.
Rating: 
Summary: Good, solid, useful, clear
Review: A wonderful book, highly recommended. I read one of the earlier editions, and appreciated the clarity of writing, the emphasis on the child's development, and the call to the parents to accept their responsibility. Highly recommended.
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Summary: Second generation Dobson parent
Review: My mother has quoted Dobson for as long as I can remember. It was the framework for how I was raised & I think it was a strong foundation. As I listen to her & read through this book myself I find that the topics it addresses are in fact how I perceived things as a child. I have seen great results and I feel armed and prepared as a parent with a solid foundation of parenting beliefs.
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Summary: Consider Discipline Reasonably
Review: Dr. Dobson takes a brave stance on the topic of discipline in his book Dare to Discipline. The book was originally published in 1970, but the entire book remains a valuable asset to teachers and parents alike. The subject of the book is finding the balance between love and control. On one side of the discipline continuum is total freedom, the child can do as he likes without rebuke under the pretense of the parents demonstrating love by allowing this action. On the other side of the spectrum is dictatorship, where the parent reigns as a tyrant over the child basically owning an automaton to serve the parent. Children need love, trust, affection--and discipline. From one generation to the next, the challenge of helping children into responsible adults doesn't change. Permissiveness permeates society. From raising animals to raising children correction is frowned upon. The result is errant adults. When I first began to read the book I was surprised by the examples Dr. Dobson used of his own childhood experience with discipline. "But there was one matter on which she was absolutely rigid: she did not tolerate 'sassiness.'. . I learned very early that if I was going to launch a flippant attack on her, I had better be standing at least ten or twelve feet away. This distance was necessary to avoid being hit with whatever she could get in her hands." (Dobson 30) When I began to truly read the book I discovered that Dr. Dobson is talking about respect for your fellow human being, not recommending child abuse. Dr. Dobson demonstrates how a parent can instruct a child in basic fundamentals, right and wrong. Too many children become violent with the "hands off" approach to child rearing. The children have no boundaries and are often angry at the world and their parents. If the book is read carefully much can be gained from his insight.
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Summary: This book is NOT the answer!(...)
Review: Answer this...how can you teach your child not to hit, when you are hitting them?????
This is what I asked myself when I read this book. I was desperate to find a why to discipline my child, so I searched hi and low and discovered this book. I thought it was the way to go and I actually implemented it, and spanked when appropriate and although I hated it (a lot) I THOUGHT this was the only way I could make my child behave. THEN, one day, she was playing with some children on the playground and she slapped another child, and I thought to myself, WOW, my kid must have learned it from me!(...)
You ALL must have heard that all too familiar parent saying...do as I do, not as I say. I didn't want to be a hypocrite to my child. Instead, I did some looking around and found another book that has helped, it is called "Children the Challenge" and it has no nonsense ways of disciplining that made sense. I also recommend "1-2-3 Magic". Neither suggests spanking, and are even MORE effective and gentler, but still sends the message that you are in charge!! Please look at these other books...you won't be disappointed. THIS book is a big disappointment, it isn't the answer.
Rating: 
Summary: Unquestionably flawed!
Review: It's strange and almost surreal reviewing a book that provided much of the framework for my childhood; at least in concepts of discipline and "faith-based" upbringing. My parents were supporters of Dobson's "Focus on the Family" organisation, and his influence was quite pervasive throughout our household--from the monthly magazine, to the "Adventures in Odyssey" tapes, to a string of Dobson "classics" (i.e. "Life on the Edge," "When God Doesn't Make Sense," "Hide and Seek"), which included the book at hand. Thankfully, my parents had the wisdom to take everything with a grain--maybe it should have been a whole shaker--of salt and not always take Dobson literally. I have a few friends who weren't so lucky, and the results were not pretty. When considering "DTD," please take into account Dobson's central theme for child-rearing. While some of his points could concern any parent, secular or Christian, his main thesis states rather bluntly that the most important thing a parent can do is raise a child "of faith." Of course, which faith he is talking about hardly merits an explanation. It immediately devalues anything else he says--it's the fly in the communion grape juice. Don't get yourselves in a tizzy here, religious indoctrination in childhood is nothing new, and it's been around a lot longer than Dobson has, but secular parents who want a decent advice tome should stay clear of Dobson because of this. Indeed, I was surprised to find that many secular friends were aware of Dobson and his child-rearing philosophy. I do agree with Dobson that children aren't disciplined enough these days. There is truly nothing more upsetting than a spoiled brat--except, of course, a guilt-ridden child who was a victim of Dr. Dobson's extreme discipline regiment.
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Summary: Saved my life - and my son's, too
Review: Until I read this book, I had no clue how to handle my rapidly-going-out-of-control 3 year old. He ran my life, dictated my actions, and I was helpless to stop him. Then I read this book, made changes in the way I parented, and started the overdue task of establishing a firm, loving discipline in my home. That was 13 years ago. Today, he is a healthy, happy teenager. I am convinced that had I not found and followed this book, today he would be a teenage rebel at best. I won't even ponder the "at worst" options. Thank God for Dr. Dobson!!
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Summary: best book for parents
Review: This is the best book on parenting I have ever read. It is also excellent for teachers or anyone involved with children. I have begun giving it as a baby shower gift, it's that good.
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