Rating: 
Summary: For anyone who thought their parents were weird
Review: I was transported back in time to my own adolescence while reading this book. Howey paints a picture so vivid and detailed, and uses humor and emotion in such a way that you finish the book feeling as if you've known her and her family all your life.
Rating: 
Summary: Recovered from the Struggles
Review: In the book Dress Codes, the author Noelle Howey tells her struggle in life to except her fathers new path and to find her right place in life. It would be a great read for any female, 16 - 30, who is trying to find themselves and they can realize that they don't have it as bad as they may think they do. This book will teach you new things that you would never know about people and some things that you wouldn't want to know about people. Howey discusses the things that no one wants to talk about but everyone thinks about at one time or another. It made me look at people completely differently and to not judge before I get to know them. I would recommend this book to just about anyone, not just to try and help them through a situation, but to give a person a better outlook on life. Howey uses a wide variety of vocabulary to add some effect of how she turned out fine after her roller-coaster ride of a life. Her theme shines through every page about how no one should make judgments before they are informed. Howey tells the story of three generations in her family, her grandmother, her mother, her father, and herself. It is astonishing to see how much she went through at such a young age. The reader will come out of this book and be glad with everything that they have and they will learn to love their family for whom they are.
Rating:
Summary: Unlike any memoir I've ever read. Amazing.
Review: No matter how many memoirs you may have read, I can guarantee you've never seen anything like this.This is a true story that is truly amazing in that the characters are such regular "ordinary people." I'm not giving anything away here, but the author's dad becomes a woman. The author purposely blows this "big secret" on about page 3 and you should be able to tell from the title anyway. And while this may sound somewhat sensational and shocking to a mainstream audience, that's not what the story is about. "Dress Codes" is the story of a family that honestly loves each other and stands by one another, even though they don't even come close to resembling the traditional definition of "family." It's also about what it means to be a woman, which I am not, but it still gave me a lot to think about. It's also about the challenges of adolesence. And growing up in the '80s. And effects of secrets and lies on a person. And so much more. It's also a unique memoir in that Noelle, the author, is not the only main character. The book alternates between characters, and decades, to illustrate her, her mother and her father all coming into womanhood. Watching the three stories intertwine made it hard for me to put this book down. All in all, "Dress Codes" was such a pleasant surprise for me. I read it because a friend recommended it to me and I never expected it to be one of my favorite books I've read this year. It's touching, I'm not afraid to admit I got a little teary at one point. It really funny, especially if you grew up in the 80s at all. And it made me step back and think a number of times. Just a very cool book.
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Summary: A young woman's search for identity
Review: Noelle Howey's Dress Codes: Of Three Girlhoods - My Mother's, My Father's, And Mine is the memoir of a young woman's search for identity in conjunction with gender. Upon learning the family secret that her father enjoys wearing women's clothes, Noelle had to figure out what it means to be a young women in today's society, and how dressing apparel reflect's one's choices. Dress Codes is highly recommended as an unusual, articulate, finely written "coming-of-age" remembrance.
Rating:
Summary: wry, sensitive, recounting of a father's path to womanhood
Review: Recently, my community experienced the shock, horror and burden of having one of its own, a transgendered young man in the process of discovering his true shelf, murdered. This abominable hate crime opened up not only wounds but questions. What is a transgendered person? Is "it" a he, a she, or both? In what ways do transgendered people challenge our notions of sexuality? What does it truly mean to be a "man" or a "woman"? Do any of us have the courage to confront misplaced identity as much as transgendered people muster? As we confronted the reality of a hate crime and its attendant national publicity, forgotten was the humanity of the victim. Noelle Howey's remarkable memoir, "Dress Codes," achieves the near impossible; she makes a type a real human being. Not only does Noelle's recount her father's evolution from Dick Howey to Rebecca Christine Howey, she does so with aplomb and humor. Every page of this wrenching, honest work is absolutely human. As a result, "Dress Codes" is in part angry, hopeful, remorseful and incredibly funny. The author refuses to pull any punches, instead preferring to let her story (and wonderfully trenchant observations) inform her readers. The subtitle of Howey's work instructs us that she will be treating three girlhoods, her mother's, her father's and her own. Each person "comes out" and discovers not only the truth of his/her own sexuality, but the essence of his/her identity. And the discovery is never neat, tidy or convenient. Hearts break, marriage dissolves and a sensitive child must come of age, eventually unencumbered by the secrets of her family and the torment in her own soul. There is sufficient grist for the human mill in each of the three central characters for three separate books. Howey's skill as a writer emerges in her sensitive treatment of the interplay of mother, father and daughter, the intersection of sex, parenting and developmental growth through and between each of the three. As Dick Howey transforms himself into Christine Howey, he becomes a she, and she develops a true humanity. At the onset of Dick's journey into transgendered identity, he "saunters around his bedroom, feeling ashamed, prurient, dubious, criminal, insance, peculiar and eccentric." Not only that, he is also "completely at one with himself." Noelle's coming to grips with her father's sexuality, one born in suppressed knowledge, causes a severe disorientation during which she is "inhabiting a surreal landscape of opposites where black was white, and of course, male was female." Noelle bristles at sympathy; she "couldn't bear to have normal people feeling sorry for me." Quietly, unobtrusively, but surely, Noelle's mother, Dinah, emerges as a gifted, compassionate and strong force. Never once varying from her own sense of self, she suffers through the knowledge that not only did her husband never feel content with his biological sexual identity, but that social recrimination (ironically on her as much as him) would be the price she would pay for understanding. Dinah remains a close friend to Dick/Christine, and in so doing, becomes a model of humanity, one desperately needed by the young adult Noelle who descends steeply into her own world of pain. One day, hopefully in the not too-distant future, sociologists will read "Dress Codes" and shake their heads at the stunted attitudes most Americans held in the late twentieth century about sexual identity and expression. Yet, at the same time, they will marvel at the authenticity of voice and the tenacity of spirit in this memoir. Noelle Howey's words serve as a moral compass, and her work should become a staple of any enlightened secondary school's sex education curriculum.
Rating:
Summary: wry, sensitive, recounting of a father's path to womanhood
Review: Recently, my community experienced the shock, horror and burden of having one of its own, a transgendered young man in the process of discovering his true shelf, murdered. This abominable hate crime opened up not only wounds but questions. What is a transgendered person? Is "it" a he, a she, or both? In what ways do transgendered people challenge our notions of sexuality? What does it truly mean to be a "man" or a "woman"? Do any of us have the courage to confront misplaced identity as much as transgendered people muster? As we confronted the reality of a hate crime and its attendant national publicity, forgotten was the humanity of the victim. Noelle Howey's remarkable memoir, "Dress Codes," achieves the near impossible; she makes a type a real human being. Not only does Noelle's recount her father's evolution from Dick Howey to Rebecca Christine Howey, she does so with aplomb and humor. Every page of this wrenching, honest work is absolutely human. As a result, "Dress Codes" is in part angry, hopeful, remorseful and incredibly funny. The author refuses to pull any punches, instead preferring to let her story (and wonderfully trenchant observations) inform her readers. The subtitle of Howey's work instructs us that she will be treating three girlhoods, her mother's, her father's and her own. Each person "comes out" and discovers not only the truth of his/her own sexuality, but the essence of his/her identity. And the discovery is never neat, tidy or convenient. Hearts break, marriage dissolves and a sensitive child must come of age, eventually unencumbered by the secrets of her family and the torment in her own soul. There is sufficient grist for the human mill in each of the three central characters for three separate books. Howey's skill as a writer emerges in her sensitive treatment of the interplay of mother, father and daughter, the intersection of sex, parenting and developmental growth through and between each of the three. As Dick Howey transforms himself into Christine Howey, he becomes a she, and she develops a true humanity. At the onset of Dick's journey into transgendered identity, he "saunters around his bedroom, feeling ashamed, prurient, dubious, criminal, insance, peculiar and eccentric." Not only that, he is also "completely at one with himself." Noelle's coming to grips with her father's sexuality, one born in suppressed knowledge, causes a severe disorientation during which she is "inhabiting a surreal landscape of opposites where black was white, and of course, male was female." Noelle bristles at sympathy; she "couldn't bear to have normal people feeling sorry for me." Quietly, unobtrusively, but surely, Noelle's mother, Dinah, emerges as a gifted, compassionate and strong force. Never once varying from her own sense of self, she suffers through the knowledge that not only did her husband never feel content with his biological sexual identity, but that social recrimination (ironically on her as much as him) would be the price she would pay for understanding. Dinah remains a close friend to Dick/Christine, and in so doing, becomes a model of humanity, one desperately needed by the young adult Noelle who descends steeply into her own world of pain. One day, hopefully in the not too-distant future, sociologists will read "Dress Codes" and shake their heads at the stunted attitudes most Americans held in the late twentieth century about sexual identity and expression. Yet, at the same time, they will marvel at the authenticity of voice and the tenacity of spirit in this memoir. Noelle Howey's words serve as a moral compass, and her work should become a staple of any enlightened secondary school's sex education curriculum.
Rating:
Summary: Touching Story of an Alternative Family
Review: Some people may initially be turned off by the premise of this book, but would miss out on what's a moving and honest testimony to what constitutes a family.
Noelle Howey tells in a touching and at times quite funny narrative the process her family went through when her father realized he was meant to be a woman.
Howey recounts her story in such a simple yet personal way it's hard not to connect to her. A nicely told biography that doesn't grand stand or moralize. Just presents a family that may not be what is known as traditional, but is still a family nevertheless.
Rating:
Summary: An Unusual and Inspiring Family Memoir
Review: There have been a number of interesting books by men who have changed into women, starting with Jan Morris's _Conundrum_, and including _Crossing_ by Deirdre McCloskey a couple of years ago. McCloskey's change was devastating to the family of which she had formerly been father, and she was locked out of their lives, but we did not get to read the family's side of the story. Now, Noelle Howey, in _Dress Codes: Of Three Girlhoods - My Mother's, My Father's and Mine_ (Picador), has let us hear from the daughter of such a family, but the results are outstandingly different. "This isn't a tragedy," she writes. "It's just nonfiction." It is a memoir brightly told, often achingly funny, and sympathetic to all concerned. There will be those who argue that a father who imposes such a change on his family makes a mockery of family values, and it is true that Howey's family had serious struggles and the marriage did not last. But they loved and helped each other through the crisis and afterwards, and you can't find better family values than that. Far from being the story only of a man who had to change his gender, _Dress Codes_ succeeds in telling how mother, father, and daughter all came of age and found their true selves. Howey knows this material is strange, but she specifies that learning about sexuality, at least in current mainstream America, is something most of us do in a stumbling fashion. Her own stumblings are recounted here with good humor, and for the book, she interviewed each of her parents about their own sexual upbringing, a process of hours that she says she will treasure forever. Of course the father's realization about himself, played over decades, is the main reason for this memoir, and Howey tells the history of her father's coming to terms with herself with sympathy and without psychologizing. Like most transsexuals, he found it hard to fit in when he was growing up, although he was competent in school and eventually as an advertising executive. He liked wearing women's clothes, but it must be clearly understood that enjoying cross-dressing is different from feeling that one is in a body of the wrong sex. Howey has to correct a friend who is incredulous that her father would go through all the therapy, electrolysis, and surgery just to wear a dress. "For what it's worth, my father didn't go through 'all that' to wear a dress. She prefers suede blazers with pleated slacks." He was not an ideal father as Howey was growing up - distant, critical, and uncommunicative, there was something wrong with him. Importantly, as Dick became Christine, her father became more understanding and understandable. Eventually, after the divorce, the family planned a big coming out party for Christine Howey, and it went very well, with fairly good acceptance from other family members and co-workers. They did have to undergo criticism, such as one male friend of the family who took the opportunity to inform Howey's mom that if she had been more feminine he would have had more incentive to stay the way God made him. Howey has written the story of a family and its members who have gone through enormous changes and have helped each other all they could. Her candid, funny writing is a pleasure to read; there are times of sweet sadness revealed here, but also of hilarious irony. They survived by "employing humor, tinted car windows and thousands of dollars worth of therapy... A traditional family - loving father, supportive mother, doting child - that would probably be the right wing's worst nightmare." Maybe, but it is hard to imagine anyone reading this sensitive memoir and not having admiration for the growth of all its characters.
Rating:
Summary: Eye Opening
Review: This book reveals the controversy of a family with a secret. A secret so inaudible that many people may be offended, but fascinated. There are so many families, children, and parents out there that don't understand or accept the fact of trans-gender people.
Rating:
Summary: interesting insight into different type of family
Review: This book was amazing. You could feel the torture of the author's spirit and the agony of all parties involved. It gives you insight into the lifestyles of transgenders, cross dressers, etc.
YOu get involved with the characters and care about the authors wellbeing.
A must read especially if you know someone who is going through this experience.
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