Rating: 
Summary: Still disappointed
Review: As a parent who has adopted two Korean children, I was excited to purchase this book, but came away with an empty stomach. Trenka reveals herself as selfish and arrogant and I'm not surprised that she had relationship tensions with her American family and adopted sister. I questioned her sincerity when she let money and vacation days come between her when her birth mother passed away. Her real struggle appears being a Korean in a white community. She seems only to find peace within herself after her birth mother has died and she's marries a white man, returning to Korea to show him off to her half sisters. The author should have written this memoir after she reached a level of self-awareness as well as learned the meaning of being humble, a respected trait in Korean culture. Adoption does not give entitlement.
Rating:
Summary: Disappointed
Review: As an adopted Korean, I was excited to purchase this book, but came away with an empty stomach. Trenka reveals herself as selfish and arrogant and I'm not surprised that she had relationship tensions with her American family and adopted sister. I questioned her sincerity when she let money and vacation days come between her when her birth mother passed away. Her real struggle appears being a Korean in a white community. She seems only to find peace within herself after her birth mother has died and she's marries a white man, returning to Korea to show him off to her half sisters.
Rating:
Summary: Disappointed
Review: As an adopted Korean, I was excited to purchase this book, but came away with an empty stomach. Trenka reveals herself as selfish and arrogant and I'm not surprised that she had relationship tensions with her American family and adopted sister. I questioned her sincerity when she let money and vacation days come between her when her birth mother passed away. Her real struggle appears being a Korean in a white community. She seems only to find peace within herself after her birth mother has died and she's marries a white man, returning to Korea to show him off to her half sisters.
Rating:
Summary: Rehashing stereotypes
Review: Frankly, I was offended by Trenka's memoir - as a reader and as a Korean who's been through many cultural displacements. Her lack of research of Korean culture - yes, writers do have to research their material - and neglecting to confirm accuracy of the Korean language she sprinkles here and there, trying desperately to add the authencity this memoir lacks, is not only disappointing but offensive to a Korean. Why do the chapters start with Chinese characters? Is that a casual (and thoughtless) attempt at "ethnic" decor? Why are all her Koreans so lovely, deeply philosophical, and two-dimensional? Koreans are human, and Trenka's Koreans only add to the stereotypical 'sweet, soulful' Asians. Trenka's adoptive parents are portrayed in two-dimensions as well. Were they so evil, ignorant and racists? She poses a question regarding what would have happened if she had not been adopted by white ignorant Minnesotan hicks. Well, she probably would not have been adopted by Koreans - blood IS thicker than water in Korea and Koreans do not generally adopt out of choice and if they do adopt, it is with great shame. As a writer, she is mediocre, the dialogue adolescent and stilted, and the substance mirrors the author's shallow attempts at finding an 'exotic' outlet for her arrested development of teen angst. This tale could have had meaning if it were written after the author has reached a level of self-awareness as well as learned the meaning of being humble, a respected trait in Korean culture. Adoption does not give entitlement.
Rating: 
Summary: An honest and moving story
Review: Having lived in Korea for 7 years, having close ties to rural MN and being the white mother of two half-Korean children, this story resonates deeply for me. Racism is part of the everyday life of Asians in the US and it is hard for white people to understand this, especially when our children are the victims. Trenka illuminates what it is like to grow up when even your parents do not understand an important aspect of your life. They did their best, not knowing what their daughter needed. Trenka shares how she is able to makes sense of her story and come to appreciate and accept herself.
Rating:
Summary: To An Adult Adoptee, this book is like a bible.
Review: I actually met Jane Jeong Trenka before reading her book. She's one of the nicest, most understanding people I've ever met and reading her book only makes her more human and therefore more lovable. As a Korean Adult Adoptee trying to break new ground with support groups and helping adopted childrens' programs in the North East, I find this book to be a wonderful escape from the "sugar-coated" world I present adoption through to the kids I work with, because I can so closely relate to it. It is for this reason that I recommend this book to any adult adoptee or any person who is a relative or close friend of any adult adoptee. It gives us a glimpse of what we feel: longing, sadness, loss, curiosity, anger, resentment, and many more feelings beyond those that words can describe. This book is an important milestone in the journey of our development for adult adoptee support groups and should be regarded as such. There are no words to describe how much this book will mean to some of us.
Rating:
Summary: To An Adult Adoptee, this book is like a bible.
Review: I actually met Jane Jeong Trenka before reading her book. She's one of the nicest, most understanding people I've ever met and reading her book only makes her more human and therefore more lovable. As a Korean Adult Adoptee trying to break new ground with support groups and helping adopted childrens' programs in the North East, I find this book to be a wonderful escape from the "sugar-coated" world I present adoption through to the kids I work with, because I can so closely relate to it. It is for this reason that I recommend this book to any adult adoptee or any person who is a relative or close friend of any adult adoptee. It gives us a glimpse of what we feel: longing, sadness, loss, curiosity, anger, resentment, and many more feelings beyond those that words can describe. This book is an important milestone in the journey of our development for adult adoptee support groups and should be regarded as such. There are no words to describe how much this book will mean to some of us.
Rating:
Summary: A Book to Cherish and Share
Review: I am the adoptive mother of a daughter from China.This book is a tender and painful reminder of the awesome responsibility we take on when we bring the child of another mother into our culture, and into our family. Jane Jeong Trenka gives voice to the conflicts and questions that many of our young children cannot voice, but which may surely arise in some form later. I will share this book with other adoptive parents, and treasure my signed copy to give to our daughter as she grows.
Rating:
Summary: A message for everyone.
Review: I'm a 28 year old white male and I'm not adopted. While I'm sensitive to Trenka's messages regarding trans-racial adoption, I feel that her book offers everyone an insight into their own humanity. Trenka tackles issues of identity, familial relationships, and self discovery, to name a few. As a human, her messages couldn't be more relevant. Whether you're an adoptee, adoptive parent, or just another person, Trenka's book bears a human message which speaks to us all.
Rating: 
Summary: Important story, trustworthy narrator
Review: Jane Jeong Trenka has an important story to tell and the craft to tell it. Her writing is clear, lyrical, filled with vitality. I like the chances she takes with structure, the odds and ends of text she borrows from diverse sources to inform her narrative. I'm interested in the shift of voice that occurs over the course of the book, the anger and power that builds as she discovers a more authentic sense of self. My 7-year old Chinese daughter conceptualizes her birth mother mostly as a tummy, someone who has not yet assumed the shape of a fully realized woman. But I have no doubt that this will change. Jane Jeong Trenka's story offers me an insightful guide for navigating these complicated waters, not for doing it "perfectly," but remaining open. This final word of the book continues to echo in my mind.
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