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I'm Okay, You're a Brat : Free Yourself from the Guilt and the Mad Myths of Parenthood

I'm Okay, You're a Brat : Free Yourself from the Guilt and the Mad Myths of Parenthood

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Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The more prepared you are, the better
Review: As the mother of a 6 month old, I agree with some of the points made in Jeffer's book. I do believe that our culture is too child-centered, and that mothers are made to feel guilty if they don't wish to be with their children 24/7. However, I think that the book is too whiny and negative about child-rearing. Yes, children can be very self-centered and demanding, but that's the way children always have been. I think that too many people go into parenthood thinking that it's like the movies and TV, and when they discover the hard reality, they become frustrated and angry at their kids. I will be the first to admit that having a baby has made my life more difficult. I don't complain much, though, because that's what I expected after observing friends and family with their children. My marriage has changed, but my husband and I expected that, too. Just what is Jeffers trying to accomplish with her book? She says she wants to destroy "the mad myths about parenthood", but after reading her rants about kids on page after page, I wonder if she just wants to persuade people to remain childless. I think her views are egocentric- she didn't enjoy child rearing, so most other people must feel the same way about their offspring,but are too ashamed to admit because of societal taboos. As for her opinion that people who love raising children have special LBP (love being a parent) genes, I respectfully disagree- enjoying parenthood is about attitude, not biology. I think that Jeffer's book will reasonate mostly with people who need affirmation for their decision to remain childless or by those who have become disillusioned because because they over-idealized parenthood.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: A book for the disillusioned
Review: As the mother of a 6 month old, I agree with some of the points made in Jeffer's book. I do believe that our culture is too child-centered, and that mothers are made to feel guilty if they don't wish to be with their children 24/7. However, I think that the book is too whiny and negative about child-rearing. Yes, children can be very self-centered and demanding, but that's the way children always have been. I think that too many people go into parenthood thinking that it's like the movies and TV, and when they discover the hard reality, they become frustrated and angry at their kids. I will be the first to admit that having a baby has made my life more difficult. I don't complain much, though, because that's what I expected after observing friends and family with their children. My marriage has changed, but my husband and I expected that, too. Just what is Jeffers trying to accomplish with her book? She says she wants to destroy "the mad myths about parenthood", but after reading her rants about kids on page after page, I wonder if she just wants to persuade people to remain childless. I think her views are egocentric- she didn't enjoy child rearing, so most other people must feel the same way about their offspring,but are too ashamed to admit because of societal taboos. As for her opinion that people who love raising children have special LBP (love being a parent) genes, I respectfully disagree- enjoying parenthood is about attitude, not biology. I think that Jeffer's book will reasonate mostly with people who need affirmation for their decision to remain childless or by those who have become disillusioned because because they over-idealized parenthood.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Can You Get Anymore Negative?
Review: Being a new mother who knows too many peers with rude and unruly children, I unwittingly picked up this book thinking it would help me to postively discipline my child. If only the back cover stated what it really is about- (how terrible children are); rather it had glowing reviews from the authors' peers. Luckily, each page has an indented paragraph- a highlight of sorts, so it didn't take me long to get through it. I have never read such a lop-sided view of parenting, and I'm very sad to see it come from such an educated and influential person. Needless to say, it was a very depressing and discouraging read. I'm no Pollyanna, nor am I very religious, but this author needs to take a chill pill and appreciate the absolute miracles that are our children for better and for worse. All I could think of was her poor children and daughters-in-laws. Yes, children can be very challenging, but this negative spin was really over the top.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A KID AND A PARENT BASHER!
Review: Many desperate and frazzled parents would certainly welcome this book with open arms. I thought it sounded like an excuse to bash and dump on childen. Naturally a child cannot give or show the same generosity that a parent can. The relationship is not equal. Naturally allowances have to be made for the needs of children as they cannot care for themselves. What an angry, toxic dumping ground this book is to many groups -- parents, would be parents, praying-to-become parents and children. After reading this Book of Wrath, one wonders who ISN'T included in the free=for all bashing? If I could have given this book a zero star rating, I would have. Don't waste your money or your time on it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The more prepared you are, the better
Review: Though I agree with the previous readers that this book is negative, I believe that was the author's intention exactly. Positive images abound in the media on how wonderful children are, and that the only negative are dirty diapers and teen angst. As far as I a concerned, this is the BEST book on children and parenting that I have ever read. People are pushed into being parents by their family and by society, and for some it is a shock as to how demanding and how destructive a third wheel could be to their relationship and their lives - but armed with the knowledge that this WILL happen to every parent, one is prepared for the worst. And by preparing for the worst, you free yourself to enjoy the best that parenting has to offer.

One other point the author tries to make is that parenting advice is a fad - and gives examples of contradictory advice given to parents over the years. Her point is empowering - that you are the best judge for what is right for your children and family, and to ignore those who would try to guilt you into doing something you feel is wrong.

I send this book as a congratulations present to every newly pregnant couple I know, and have reccomended it to everyone else. Yes, it may convince some people that they aren't meant to have children, but if reading one negative (read truthful) book causes them to make this decision, then they probably aren't ready to be a parent yet anyway.


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