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Co-dependent... What a Bore and Other Clinical Observations

Co-dependent... What a Bore and Other Clinical Observations

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Instead of trashing
Review: Instead of just trashing someone else's work (that has helped many, many people) does this author actually have anything of use to say? Why write a book tearing down other people's work instead of adding your own original work? Any therapy can be abused to a silly extreme... that doesn't negate the proper use of the therapy itself. And what's with the automatic belittling of "affluent white women"? Is one's affluence (...)and race a buffer to all psychological problems and pain? I think jealousy has reared it's ugly head with this author- not only in envying the success of someone else's work but in the personal vendetta against "affluent white women". I bet you anything this author's mother was an "affluent white woman"!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Proofreading: What a Bore...
Review: Mr. Goodner's tone and voice are strong and enjoyable, and his logic is excellent. The book covers a considerably narrower set of definitions for "co-dependent" than I had hoped. I had wanted to read a refutal or new perspective on co-dependent relationship dynamics as described by Robert Burney and Melanie Beattie; instead, Mr. Goodner uses most of the book to support his case for refusing to accept the term "co-dependent." He points out the illogical origins of the term and emphasizes that mental health workers have a professional duty to stick to the DSM when making their diagnoses. I agree. Just, caveat emptor if you're looking to read about "love versus toxic love" as I was. And caveat emptor anyway for verbosity and shoddiness - Mr. Goodner has probably never read Strunk & White, and he is an inconsistent speller. Co-dependant or co-dependent? Got editor?

P.S. - My favorite thing in the book was an aside in which Mr. Goodner asserted that committing rape is not about being in control, but about using aggression to get what you want (in that case, sex), much as a mugger uses aggression to get money. That got me started thinking about the whole range of methods people use to manipulate others into giving them what they want - aggression, charm, negotiations, lawyers. I suppose if there's a level of mutual agreeability to the outcome of such manipulation, then it's no longer manipulation, just negotiation, or maybe just social interaction. I would imagine there's a mutual agreeability threshold below which the initiator of the interaction qualifies as "antisocial."

P.P.S. - I wish you the best, Mr. Goodner, and thanks for the cute raccoon picture.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Wish I could say, "What a bore...."
Review: What can I say? I agree with Rick that the whole codependency thing is a joke, always was and always will be. I confess too that I give him only four stars as he's part of the profession that has been somewhat responsible for perpetuating the codependency scare.

In reality, codependency is a way of white largely women from relatively affluent backgrounds to make themselves into victims. Then they can go to meetings and "help each other out."

Fortunately, I think the "condition's" heyday is long gone. Like the "men's movement," it's now surviving on it's long term "victims."

Anyway, this is fun. Read it and don't bother with the Beattie screeds.


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