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Summary: I reviewed this book for a History class, 'Watergate to Now'
Review: Dr. Warren Farrell spent three years on the board of directory of the Nation Organization for Women (NOW) in the 1970s. He wholeheartedly believed in the project of removing the barriers that kept women from realizing their full potential. With time, however, he saw the movement turn towards a victim mentality that focused on a hatred and envy of men. In this book, Dr. Farrell focuses on the empowerment of men, a project that can go hand-in-hand with the empowerment of women. In the first part of this book, he focuses on how men can communicate with the women in their lives, helping each to understand their hopes, dreams and frustrations. The second part of the book involves the breaking of myths that leave men frustrated and dispirited, and women angry. The third and final section of the book examines how the promulgation of these myths have led to a hostility being directed at men that is poisoning male-female relationships, and leading to great unhappiness between the sexes. Overall, I found this to be a great book. Dr. Farrell is no misogynist, but is a self-described Liberal who is passionate about empowering *both* women and men. If this book seems weighed toward breaking down the idea of man-as-oppressor, it is because the author finds the idea not just incorrect but perniciously so. If you are a woman who would like to look at men from a different perspective, or are a man who wants to see a new look at the misandrous myths that infect our society, then you must read this book!
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Summary: MUST READ!
Review: Essential information for children,fathers and families! Original andfascinating!
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Summary: read this book
Review: First introduced to Mr. Farrell's books at the age of 18 I responded with righteous indignation, "just a man making excuses" for his behavior and discarded the book. Now age 35 I have read every book he has written. His writings changed my relationship with myself (as a man), every man in my life (father, brothers grandfathers, friends and strangers) and woman in my life. I consider my vocabulary inadequate to accurately articulate the quality and integrity of Mr. Ferrell's thoughts and conclusions. Although many of Warren Farrell's ideas are contrary to common thinking --- 100 percent of his conclusions are consistent with my experience as a growing man. Purchase this book for yourself and all others that you love.
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Summary: A prophet who is yet to be recognized properly.
Review: I have read every book that Dr.Farrell has written and to say that they changed my life would be an understatement. For almost three decades Warren has labored to bring about the true egalitarian world that will some day arrive. I long ago dubbed him the "Betty Friedan" of the men's movement, for just as millions of women's lives were changed by her landmark book "The Feminine Mystique", so too has his book heralded the revolution which is occurring now. The current book" Women Can't hear what men don't say" is another milestone on the road to a just and fair society. Even though I am familiar with his writings, the new book just blew me away. It is dense with information that will surprise even his fans.Like all his other books it appeals to both men and women. If only we could teach its ideas in our high schools, think how different the next generation would be.
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Summary: I reviewed this book for a History class, 'Watergate to Now'
Review: I went into the reading with positive expectations. I liked Farrell's earlier book, 'Why Men Are the Way They Are'. I learned alot from that, and have been (ever since) vigilant about reverse sexism in jokes, cards, movies, and so on. Frankly, I don't like it, and I appreciate that men wouldn't either. This new book repeats some of that earlier work, naturally, and I still agree that that is an issue in society, how it is okay to insult men, 'haha- it's a joke, don't be sensitive!'. I agree that the reverse would be unacceptable, therefore insulting men is, as well. That said, I found this book to be a disappointment in several ways. There are factual errors. For example, the entire California State University system does NOT require women's studies-- he says it does. That leads me to question his other statements of facts. There are questionable interpretations of bias. For example, he says the shameful Tuskegee Study, where black men were fooled into thinking they were being treated for some drip problem (syphilis), only discriminated against men, and therefore was sexist against (only) men. In that study, men were not really being treated at all, just studied by white medical personnel. This is a definite example of racism. Of sexism as well? Every woman partner of those men was also being discriminated against, in effect-- in my opinion. Lastly, the 'Lace Curtain', the supposed bias in academia that only allows for a feminist version of events... I think that if you only look at Gender Studies, he may have a good point. That is where he wants to teach, even though his doctorate is in Political Science. Outside of that discipline, I would say it is an more balanced education due to the influence of feminisim, but isn't a feminist party-line. An example of that is how many women graduated this year as Construction Management majors... no special brou-hah was made about them, but that they were even there is a result of feminist activism in the breakdown of stereotypes. Ultimately, I would say that it is worthwhile to look at his book but to examine his facts and statistics against the light of reality.
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Summary: MEN IT'S TIME TO START LEARNING SOCIAL SKILLS
Review: MEN GET LOST IN DOING THINGS AND UNDERSTANDING THINGS.WOMEN HAVE BETTER SOCIAL NETWORKS,AND PEOPLE SKILLS TYPICALLY .THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOST MEN AFTER DIVORCE REALIZE THAT EMOTIONALLY THEY HAD ALL THERE EGGS IN ONE BASKET, THERE HURT AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT, AND IF WE NEVER LEARN HOW WE WILL CHASE OUR TAILS FOREVER.WE MUST EXCEPT THAT WE HAVE BEEN SLOW TO CHANGE WITH THE TIMES. WE CAN'T BLAME WOMEN IF WE DON'T LEARN SKILLS AND USE THEM TO COMMUNICATE WHO WE ARE AND HOW WE FEEL. REMEMBER "WOMEN CAN'T HEAR WHAT MEN DON'T SAY"
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Summary: Farrell is God
Review: The guy is a genius, the book is excellent, even the price is good. Some may say it's as much a masculist rant as a book on communication but what's wrong with that when done with such warmth, kind humour and the understanding that melts the hearts of all that read him? Regardless of gender. Buy it, borrow it, steal it but whatever you do, read it, along with his other classics.
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Summary: Excellent points, well-researched book
Review: This book changed the way I think about gender relations in this country. Farrell has taken a lot of things that many of us, especially men, vaguely recognize are happening, and clarified and organized them into a cogent argument. For years I was aware that there was a strong anti-male bias in the media and academia...this, I attributed to political correctness and angry women "feeling their oats," so to speak. Farrell explained the depth of this bias, reaching to the very roots of the studies on housework, domestic violence, and income that academics and feminists use to batter men every day. A few of the main points: 1. Some feminist studies on housework rely upon ancient data; data that pre-exist the cultural revolution that made women first-class citizens. They refuse to recognize data that show men and women have changed in this country. Most feminist studies also commit a rather nasty error of omission: they ignore the types of work around the home that men do, such as cleaning the roof and gutters, mowing the lawn, fixing the cars, etc.--more-dangerous jobs that men do out of obligation, which are equally worthy of consideration, yet typically omitted by militant feminists attempting to portray men as lazy bums. 2. Femimist studies on domestic violence typically omit the fact that women are more likely to initiate violence. This violence is typically ignored due to mens' stoicism, shame, and the idea that women are too small to hurt men. The studies also typically ignore the ways that women murder their husbands, because, unlike men who murder wives openly and violently, women tend to murder in a less-obvious fashion (e.g., hiring a third party to murder the spouse, etc.). 3. Feminist-sponsored studies on income typically ignore the real causes of wage differences: men work longer hours, drive further, do more dangerous jobs, etc.; essentially, they contribute more to the business, and are paid accordingly. Feminist studies always portray wage differences as sexist, however. This is not to say that "good ol' boy" clubs do not still exist; everyone knows they do; but this raises another point: do they keep women out due purely to sexism (the only view ever offered in the media), or is it possible that they expect women to *earn* entrance and success, rather than be *given* it? 4. These feminist-driven studies also suffer from a communicative bias (more my point than Farrell's): the media unquestioningly accepts the feminist line on the studies, and, even worse, tends to generalize the results, so that any points the feminsts concede about males are lost in the process. (So, a tiny study that finds, through a biased methodology, that 51% of the men in New Hampshire don't do the dishes in their homes becomes "most men don't do any work around the home, and women are fed up with it!") These biased studies--and their biased communication through the media, poison women against men, and divide us as a people. Women are taught to despise men, and consider them a necessary evil (or worse, unnecessary), and men are stoic; they refuse to speak in their own defense, lacking the communication-of-emotion skills women have acquired, and fearful of rejection and humiliation. As Farrell puts it, a woman who shows her feelings or weakness is protected by women and men; a man who shows his feelings or weakness elicits contempt and disgust by women and men. Where's the incentive for men to become more open? Farrell includes, in the early portion of the text, a discussion of how women and men can communicate better--mostly by recognizing what men are trying to say, but can't. Since what he offers as evidence is pretty much exactly what I have felt, and what I see around me every day, I think his argument is right on the money. Finally, much of the text surrounds other biases in the media and popular culture; from mysandry (hatred of men) in greeting cards, to statements from very influential people. He raises the question: why do we attack men who say something merely distasteful or questionable about women, but glorify women who use downright hateful, sexist language about men? Why is even the slightest display of violence against women in television or movies totally taboo (unless it is meant to show how disgusting men really are), but women severely beating or killing men is glorified? For example, in one scene from "Ally Macbeal" in 2000, a woman severely beats a man for telling her that he doesn't really believe in the *sensitivity* classes he has been going to. Of course, he won't hit a female, so he is punched, kicked in the testicles, and beaten until nearly unconcious, and the show portrays this as humorous: an appropriate way for a woman to treat a man who has changed his mind about something she finds important. If the scene had showed a man beating the hell out of a woman in the same whimsical nature, do you think it would still be on the air? Why the double standard? Overall, I found the book very imformative and insightful. Since I know several women who are married to reticent men, I have been giving this book as a gift to couples, in the hopes that *both* sides learn to understand the man, and *why* he is, the way he is. I look forward to future scholarly works on the subject, and hopefully, some form of dialogue between women and men on the concerns raised in the text. Currently, the only point of view offered on the matter is the feminist forces that dominate the government, academia, institutions, and media. Until there is true dialogue, relationships, and ultimately, love, will continue to degrade under the monotonous, fallacious onslaught of the establishment feminists.
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Summary: I'm glad I read this book!
Review: This book is -and will be for a long time - the best ever written work on gender relation issues. This is true for three reasons: it is totally uninfluenced by any kind of ideology, it is a very solid work based on neutral and objective research and it comes from a author with an extremely deep and sharp knowledge of gender issues. My personal experience reading this book has been so deep and transforming, I have completely changed most of my perspectives and analytical tools with regards to gender relations and gender issues. With this book, Dr. Farrell answer questions every man has probably asked himself many time but was afraid to ask loud and explain to woman how they can improve their relationship with man, without victimism but listening and encouraging their man to speak and communicate. Great book and greatly needed.
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Summary: balancing the gender roles
Review: This book:Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, is a very informative read! Warren will tell you why: · to many men, remaining silent seems superior to engaging in an argument that attempts to "get it right" with their wife. · his income, speaking fees, and a few professional friendships were all negatively effected when he started talking about men's issues. · his "cinematic" approach to handling criticism is a real interesting idea. · peeking into his domain of ideas and people, hearing of the publishing game from his point of view, telling of the PBS talk he was bumped from ("we're going to continue with the women...") makes for some disturbing reading. · when you were in school the girls weren't impressed with the sensitive guys. Here's how this book worked for me: I found Warren's writing style personal and clever. His world view, while sporting different focus points than mine, made for an interesting and educational read. The book opens with a few methods to combat criticism that are an absolute challenge to put into action for almost any couple. Warren took one-on-one and group session conversations and added their dialog during this part of the book, making it easier to understand this challenging new set of ideas. I found that this initial relationship data is the most rewarding and constructive data in the book. I felt a fair amount of anger while reading about the many levels of Feminist control, censorship, and restriction that Warren talks of in the media and publishing empires he has dealt with. The last time I have heard of such manipulation was reading "The Fountainhead" or possibly seeing the movie "Tucker". This gave me a real education in politics and a view into the "Sisterhood" and their "Lace Curtain" that veils and protects the feminist machine. Warren has a quiver full of canned phrases such as "the disposability of men" in war, the "dangerous jobs only men will do", the "men die younger than women", "men only marry beautiful women", "women only marry heroes" etc. If for no other reason than these concepts (first introduced to me in "Why Men Are The Way They Are") this book is easily worth the price and your time. I understand that women have certain problems dating back to the beginning of time that we as men don't have: the issues surrounding rape, walking alone, endlessly being the target of serial murder,being the one with the 'problem' at pregnancy time, being "property" in certain parts of the world, walking behind the men, legally murderable in certain countries, killed as babies in certain cultures, and etc. and these are not covered in this book. The data that he does cover is vital and needs to be added to these women's issues, creating a body of knowledge that will help to balance the gender role inequities that separate men and women.
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