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Rating: 
Summary: A good, non-judgemental reference--educational
Review: After checking this book out of the library, reading and absorbing it bits at a time, I realized that I'd renewed it 3 times and I should just buy the thing. Rabbi Lerner offers sensitive options for someone planning an interfaith wedding, with thorough explanations of parts of the ceremony, (huppah, glass, etc) and detailed appendices of sample ceremonies, songs, rituals, etc. If there is a flaw in this book it is that there are some missing details--numbers to call to find willing rabbis, etc. However, I am anticipating dog-earring my copy once it arrives..._______ *addendum: My wedding was two weeks ago. In the month coming up to the big day, my husband and I found ourselves constantly referring to this book. We used it for reference, to pull ceremony details out, and as a reminder of stumbling blocks we would come across. Doubly recommended. Also check out the references in the back to find other readings. Finding good biblical readings we both liked was hard, so we ended up using secular stuff mostly.
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Summary: A non-judgmental look at interfaith marriages..
Review: As someone who creates custom, personalized ketubot (Jewish wedding contracts), I have long sympathized with a tentative question over the phone asking if I am open to creating an interfaith ketuba. In addition to the reality that a relatively small number of rabbis perform interfaith ceremonies, I have become aware that many ketuba artists will not work with interfaith couples to create a personalized ketuba for them. The fact that someone is asking the question tells me that they have already experienced the slamming of doors in their quest to celebrate their marriage to the partner of their choice. My heartfelt response to such a question is that I would rather be part of a process that is open to their choices, to their commitment to maintain some of the rituals from their heritage, and to their future. The more open, welcoming, and responsive we are ... the more positive and loving we make the experience ... the sweeter the taste that is left in their memories ... the more likely that both the Jewish and non-Jewish partner will feel comfortable and eager to turn toward fostering Jewish practices in their home, both for themselves and for their children. So when recent ketuba clients told me how wonderful their experience was in meeting with Rabbi Devon Lerner and how helpful it was to read her book, "Celebrating Interfaith Marriages," I knew I had to find out more. When I discovered that we are practically neighbors, I read her book in preparation for a personal meeting. I was drawn in to Lerner's presentation from the beginning. The pervading sense throughout is one of acceptance and non-judgment. How refreshing! There is no assumption that the couple will adopt only Jewish practices in their home. Rather, there is an acknowledgment that they are seeking to find their way through the dilemmas they are bound to face. Lerner's discussion can help open doors for couples, providing them with guidance as they seek to answer questions large and small. She urges couples to come to terms with feelings about how they will raise their children before they tie the knot, rather than waiting until the time comes. In a non-judgmental way, she provides sensitive commentary on why certain religious themes in one partner's background may be uncomfortable for their intended spouse. Lerner's guidance demonstrates just how important it is for interfaith couples to share their thoughts and feelings, come to terms with them, and work together, either themselves or with a counselor, to make decisions about their future life together. What is important to Lerner is that both partners have a spiritual component in their lives that allows them to believe in a higher power, whatever it is called and however they find it, be it through religious belief, nature, meditation, running, or some other avenue. Once a couple decides to move forward, Lerner's sensitive guidance will help couples select an officiant, learn about traditions from a variety of religious backgrounds, and create a ceremony that is meaningful and inclusive. With the help of "Celebrating Interfaith Marriages," couples should, indeed, find source material that will help them focus on the celebration of their union.
Rating:
Summary: An excellent book and an outstanding resource.
Review: I must admit, as a near atheist raised as a Catholic I was a bit skeptical when first presented with Rabbi Lerner's book. It was soon after that my skepticism ended. It's everything I didn't expect in a "how to" book that tackles the difficult issues of combining a Jewish and Christian marriage ceremony. Celebrating Interfaith Marriages was a rich, warm book that turned into (no pun intended and with tongue firmly implanted in cheek) our bible. As an advertising copywriter I can say definitively that the style and way this book is written is not only excellent, but it follows a very conversational tone that made it very easy for me to enjoy. It is well constructed, often witty, and not once did I ever feel I was being preached to, or told it our wedding had to be done in a certain manner. What's more, Rabbi Lerner fills her book with many different perspectives, solutions and resources. She culls from her experiences, draws from that of others, and puts forth a great deal of outstanding ideas and scenerios to help you through what can often be a very trying and difficult endeavor. We certianly couldn't have had the wedding we wanted, nor would our wedding have been the resounding success it was, without this book. I highly recomend it to anyone attempting an interfaith marriage. It will serve as an invaluable resource, and most importantly, provide you with considerable inspiration.
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Summary: A MUST for couples planning an interfaith wedding
Review: It is challenge enough to plan a same-faith wedding in today's world. The celebration of an interfaith marriage can be positively daunting. Not only are different faith perspectives involved, but there is often ignorance, if not suspicion of each other's faith. Rabbi Lerner has obviously led many couples through their interfaith wedding planning. She combines a warm pastoral sensitivity for people embarking on a new marriage and she brings a wealth of practical information and knowledge of different faith traditions. Combine this with many useful resources for a couple preparing for their wedding and you have a WINNER. This book will not only help couples starting an interfaith marriage, it could prove a useful resource to all couples planning any kind of wedding.
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Summary: Interfaith brides and grooms, rejoice. Help is here!
Review: The time to buy this book is when you've already done your interfaith relationship counseling, when you've already met each other's families. While the book gives you subtle reminders of things you've already discussed, the true focus of this is to help you create a ceremony for your wedding - A ceremony that keeps in mind the feelings and beliefs of both sides of your union. What a wonderful help this has been for my fiancee and I, who have struggled to put together our upcoming ceremony. After all, its important to remember that the ceremony is the most important part of your wedding, not the party afterwards. Rabbi Lerner gives actual examples of ceremonies that others have successfully performed. She also describes fully what certain parts of Catholic/Christian and Jewish ceremonies mean, and when they are performed. Pick the book up, its worth your time, and will help you get through the tough spots!
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Summary: Neither religion is done justice
Review: What if a Jew wants to marry a Christian? How do you keep both faiths in the ceremony? YOu lie through your teeth and pretend that certain things integral to the faiths don't matter. Jesus called Jews "children of Satan"? Forget about it. Judaism forbids marrying pagans? No problem. Christianity claims to be the true religion and replace the "outdated" Judaism. Well, now it's got an ally. "Rabbi" Lerner might have a good heart. Her advice might work for couples who don't care about religion, but the whole point of the book is to try to be "respectful" in having a dual ceremony. Meaning that BOTH Judaism and Christianity should have a voice and the 2000 years of history mean nothing. Haven't the so-called Jews for Jesus taught us anything? This book is great if you are feeling guilty over your mixed marriage, but if you really want to confront the problem head on, then check into books about conversion - either to Judaism or to Christianity. Else your marriage is a sham.
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