Adopting After Infertility

Rating:
Summary: Psychobabble from a woman who knows nothing
Review: This book was non sensical to me. If anything it tried to disuade my husband and I from persuing IVF etc. It is bombarded with PC crap and one cannot say " give a baby up for adoption" or "real mom" she completely sounds pompous and doesn't seem like any advice she would give you would have an ounce of care for the feelings of one going through IF. I think this book was a sham and i regret purchasing something written by someone so high on their credentials but lacking in real life desperation.

Rating:
Summary: Great Source of Healing & Preparation
Review: This book was required reading for the adoption agency we are going through in Dallas, Texas. And I am so glad that it was! The book is partitioned into three parts: 1) Dealing with infertility 2) Making your adoption plan 3) Raising children in a family built by adoption. The first part really helped my husband and I discuss and integrate the losses we have been feeling since our diagnosis of infertility. The second part helped us define our wants, needs, and emotions regarding our choices in adoption. And the third part will be helpful on our lifelong journey of learning how to be parents of adopted children. After experiencing infertility, we definitely appreciated the author's calm, rationale process and frank style in communicating about these very emotional issues. It gave words to some issues that we hadn't yet defined, but were definitely feeling.

Rating:
Summary: A must-read!
Review: This is by far and away the best book to start with if you are thinking of adoption, and I recommend picking it up very early in your experience of infertility, even if you are fairly certain you don't want to adopt, because it will help you think the issues through. First, what it isn't: a how-to explaining whom to call and what documentation to assemble. These practicalities can vary so much depending on where you live, when you are adopting and what kind of arrangement you're seeking, that kind of book would be out of date at once. And what good would they have done me, out here in Hong Kong? This book, instead, addresses all sorts of questions you wouldn't dare ask Social Services or maybe even your mother: does the amount of pain I still feel about my infertility mean I'm not ready to adopt? Is there something mean or wrong with my character if I don't want to adopt a disabled child? What about adopting across race or culture? What if I adopt and then get pregnant, how can I mix my family in this way? Is love something I can just turn on like a tap for any child, or where do I learn it? I found this book immensely consoling because it cut through a lot of the hypocrisy and consoling platitudes that people seem to smother you with when you're suffering from infertility. It helped to decide whether I should try to adopt, and gave me courage for the journey. Just knowing there were people out there who knew how I might feel made everything much less frightening and unthinkable.

Rating:
Summary: A must read for infertile couples considering adoption
Review: This is by far the best book that I have read concerning adoption. It neither glamorizes or dramaticizes the process, but offers an examination of very thought provoking issues about the adoption process and about adoption throughout the lifespan. One of the most thought provoking aspects of the book is the part that deals not with adoption but with the task of resolving the losses surrounding infertility. The book takes some very bold steps in speaking the truth of couples touched by this devastating problem and in helping them to move through the losses to the point of becoming able to embrace adoption as the best option. I will always cherish this book and the way that it helped my husband and me to navigate through a lifechanging experience.

Rating:
Summary: Psychobabble from a woman who knows nothing
Review: This is the first book my husband read after many years and many requests. We actually fought over who got to read it! (I bought a second copy!) The items in this book have helped my family to deal with our feelings regarding infertility and deal with the losses we've suffered with less negativity. Although we aren't there yet, we've begun assessing adoption as a choice for addition to our family. With the help of this book, we've started to feel very positive about our situation and look forward to the choices we will make in the future.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent!
Review: This is the first book my husband read after many years and many requests. We actually fought over who got to read it! (I bought a second copy!) The items in this book have helped my family to deal with our feelings regarding infertility and deal with the losses we've suffered with less negativity. Although we aren't there yet, we've begun assessing adoption as a choice for addition to our family. With the help of this book, we've started to feel very positive about our situation and look forward to the choices we will make in the future.

Rating:
Summary: MUST READ!
Review: While struggling with infertlity and depression, this book changed my outlook and the direction of my life. It gave me new hope. Each chapter mirrored exactly what I was experiencing from infertility and put everythin into perspective. You will find information about all the losses you are experiencing, how to decide on posible solutions with your partner and all the aspects that involve choosing adoption. Even though my husband and I had talked about the possibility of adopting, we discovered we were not ready yet and that we had to deal with several issues first and make our relationship strong again before making this important decision. My sister who is also infertile read the book and now she is about to adopt a baby who will be born in July. This book has been extremely helpful for the whole family. We live in Costa Rica and there is ZERO literature or support groups here. Thank God for the internet and all the useful resources it provides. Even if you are barely considering the option of adoption or even if you are just starting to deal with infertility, you should read this book (and later give it to your partner, your family and your friends).