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Summary: Printed reviews of this book include the following...
Review: From Adopted Child (July, 1993) "While there are many books that explain the adoption process, none of them explore with much depth the issues that aodptiove parents must deal with before making choices about what type of child and what type of adoption to pursue. Adopting after Inferitlity fills that gap remarkably well. It provides the kind of information that should be found in every ore-adoption class... Johnston, who is well known in the infertility and adoption communties for her work in those fields, is the natural choice for a book of this type. Her chatty style makes for easy reading, so there is no excuse for every parent considering adoption not to read this important book.
From Serono Symposia's Insights into Infertility Newsletter (Winter, 1992), and reprinted in The New Social Worker (fall, 1994)..."People making the decsion to build a family through adoption after infertility must revise and reintegrate the ideas about parenthood that have been forming since childhood. Johnston recongizes this better than most. Acknowledging that some things in life remain ambivalent and ambiguous, she never attempts to make something understandable or tolerable by resorting to reductionist thinking. By refusing to trivialize a complex life experience,Ms. Johnston demonstrates the sophistication of her thinking and the genuine regard she has for her audience... This book is must reading, not only for people considering adoption, but also for those who seek to help them."
from Pact Press (Winter 1994)...This clear, simple guide acknowledges that adoption may not be the right answer for everyone. This book is not only thorough, it is flled with the forthright opinions of the author. .. Though this book explores the losses associated with infertility in a clear way, the writer does not let her readers wallow. She offers the Chinese concept of crisis, consisting of danger and opprtunity as a better model. People stuck in victim behavior willlearn how loss obstructs decision-making, and, more importantly, how to move forward...It is essential reading if you are considering adoption after facing the challenges of infertility... lively and easy to understand."
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Summary: Pop psychology
Review: I could barely read this book. I guess I'm just not that torn up about being infertile. It reads too much like a self-help book to suit me - lots of hand wringing about things we have no control over, lots of personal stories of hand wringing. The author apologizes a few times for the first 3 chapters, justifying my decision to skip them after skimming the first.
I have gotten much more direct, no-nonsense information from my conversations with adoption agencies.
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Summary: Read this book first!
Review: I felt as if the author were speaking directly to me. She validated all my feelings of loss after five years of unsuccessful infertility procedures. I had'nt realized how important it was to validate those emotions before going on to adoption. The author's many resources of publications and organizations dealing with just about everything have been invaluable and are a great starting point for people who just don't know where to begin. No matter what you decide about adoption, this book is a must read before going any further. This book really helped us prioritize what we wanted and now we are so excited and have renewed hope of starting a family through adoption. I am so grateful for this book.
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Summary: Exceptionally helpful
Review: I found this book extremely helpful in sorting out the wild emotions I was experiencing when trying to decide whether or not to continue with infertility treatments or to move to actively pursuing adoption. It was a difficult book to read - I would read a chapter and have to stop to "digest" it and cry for a while. But it ultimately increased my confidence that my husband and I were making the right choices for ourselves. I have passed my copy on to a close friend now facing these same questions and have recommended it to several other couples.
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Summary: Very helpful-even after adoption!
Review: I read this book and we have just adopted our son who is disabled but perfect in every way! This is definitely a must read for everyone who is considering adoption after going thru infertility. It is a great comfort, and since your never really 'done' experiencing it, it is great to have on hand to refer back to even after adoption. AND I think the one reviewer was referring to Abortion, not adoption, as you can tell that usually people who are infertile want nothing more than that little human life and we place GREAT value on it! Definitely read it if adoption is even an issue!
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Summary: So not what I needed to hear!!!
Review: I read this book shortly after dh and I decided to look into adoption. The author goes on and on about getting through your grief over infertility and it made me even more depressed about my situation!! She goes through different stages that a couple has to grieve before they are ready to move on and adopt such as the grief of never sharing a pregnancy with your spouse, the grief of never having a biological child etc. etc. etc. To me, adoption is not about grieving over what I am going to miss out on, it is about embracing life's path and looking at what I do get to experience such as the joy of finding out there is a child for us, and the excitment of sharing the adoption experience with my dh. IF sucks, I will be the first one to admit that!!! But life is what you make of it and I don't think that I need to grieve all these different steps before I am ready to embrace adoption.
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Summary: READ THIS BOOK!
Review: If you are looking at this book, you probably have been immersed in the nightmare of infertility treatment. You need to read this book. It spoke directly to me -- as if it had been written for me. The author writes so knowingly and so compassionately about the losses of infertility. She writes so wisely about adoption. This book spoke right to my heart.
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Summary: I needed this book (updated)
Review: September 9, 2000
After three years and two miscarriages I thought I was buying a "how to" book on adoption. What I got was so much more -- a book that helped my husband and I understand and talk about all the losses that come with infertility and what they meant to us. It helped us decide what we would and would't do for treatment and, surprisingly, helped us realize that we weren't ready to adopt yet. It was emotional reading but well worth the effort. I recommend it to everyone -- those just starting on the infertility road, those that would never adopt and those that are ready to do so. I'm grateful that this book came into my life.
March 9, 2002
It's been a year and a half since writing my first review of this book. I was online tonight ordering more great books about adoption when I remembered writing this review. After all this time Adopting After Infertility still stands as one of the most important books for me in our nearly 5 year journey toward parenthood. I often think of the things we learned by reading this book. In fact, I think that the communication steps we followed in this book became the start of what has been an incredible opportunity to really share our feelings and make decisions at each step along the way that were best for both of us. We slowly learned about and planned for adoption and moved away from the pain of our loss and on to excited expectancy for our yet to be born [adopted] child. I'm grateful to Pat for this book as well as for the book she wrote for families and friends on how to support the adoptive couple. Pat also had an impact in my life by responding to a question I emailed to her about adopting and then adding a bioligical child to our family later. A positive and insightful reply showed up in my inbox less than a day later. The adoption process to date has been an emotional one, easier in some ways and more difficult in other ways than we could ever have imagined. I still recommend this book to everyone I know, including two men that I work with who, with their wives, have been experiencing the same kind of emptyness and pain over their infertility losses that we once felt so keenly. Well worth reading along with two others that meant a lot to me, "The Open Adoption Experience" and "Dear Barbara, Dear Lynne". Best wishes.
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Summary: Lasting Impact
Review: Sixteen months after our dream of having a family was realized through adoption, this is the one book that I continue to remember, refer to and recommend. The book is sensitive without being emotionally silly; straight-forward and factual without being dry and hopeless. The author does an excellent job of helping couples work through options and issues without being judgemental or overly biased toward adoption as the ultimate answer. My husband and I read this as we started exploring adoption, and we used the suggested process to help sort out our feelings and motivations about adoption. As a result, I believe we were more fully prepared to approach the adoption option in a healthy, positive way.
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Summary: Psychobabble from a woman who knows nothing
Review: This book was non sensical to me. If anything it tried to disuade my husband and I from persuing IVF etc. It is bombarded with PC crap and one cannot say " give a baby up for adoption" or "real mom" she completely sounds pompous and doesn't seem like any advice she would give you would have an ounce of care for the feelings of one going through IF. I think this book was a sham and i regret purchasing something written by someone so high on their credentials but lacking in real life desperation.
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