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Summary: Fabulous Thank you Mary
Review: Mary's insight by example into the 'young-old' and 'old-old' age categories is very informative. She describes the emotions and situations of older people in such a way as to provide us with a roadmap. I look at my 'young-old' mother (73) in a different light and now feel much better prepared for a crisis as she travels into the 'old-old' stage. And now I finally understand why my father (76) is always telling those darn jokes!
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Summary: Essential reading for everyone
Review: My 89 year old mother lives in an assisted living community which ranks high. My company develops independent living communities for seniors. Never, in one place, have I seen such a reasonable explanation of the dynamics of aging. No fancy psycho-babble or surveys. Just a clear picture of the difference in orientation of the young-old and the old-old, and how that produces such interesting surface responses. In the case of my mother, who has always been critical and difficult, I learned that she may not feel connected and useful. I'm going to work on that. And, in our next senior community, I will have a wonderful book to use during the training of our staff to help them be more understanding and to respond to needs and wishes more appropriately. If everyone had the understanding of our elders that this book imparts, we would be a better world. Non-fiction doesn't usually grab me like this book did. I couldn't put it down!
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Summary: If you plan on growing old some day, or dieing, read it!
Review: My wife suggested we buy this book. Both of us are faced with caring for aging mothers, myself especially as I am an only child. I expected, and got, significant insight into the feelings my mother has as an 84 year old widow. It helped me understand some of her behaviors as well as her physical and mental state. Not being a trained psychologist (I made a "D" in my one and only college psychology course as I recall), I found the book very enlightening and readable; I finished it - it's quite an accomplishment for a book to hold my attention to the end.Further, the book did something I hadn't planned - it helped me better understand what is in store for me as I get older.
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Summary: Another country: the tourist perspective
Review: Not being "old-old" myself, with both parents dead, I picked up this book out of curiosity. Piper does not mince words. She says at the outset, "Old age is not for sissies," and she goes on to describe life as an old person in a country designed for the young. It's an apt metaphor: the old learn a new language and a new terrain. Pipher offers creative solutions that are not always easy, as she herself is the first to admit. Not everyone is equipped to be a caretaker. And as a society we do not have the infrastructure to deal with the challenges that increase daily.
Ironically, she notes that having a purpose in life will keep us young longer: the 85-year-old woman with an overaged dependent son may seem indulgent to outsiders, but she has a reason to get up every day. Yet at the same time, challenging work and respect from the community -- the source of purpose for most of us -- will be denied by a society that worships youth. Pipher seems to be selling us on the importance of caring for the elderly. It's a way our own children will learn respect for the family and for us, she says. Yet many of us will not have children of our own. Today something like one-third of households have only one member. Being single or childless is no longer "odd." And sometimes a parent disappears from a child's life, only to re-appear in a time of need. There's no basis for a relationship -- it's not about healing but about building a relationship with a stranger . Pipher does not address these topics, but the thousands of midlife adults who face aging parents will say she's offered more than enough to benefit her readers.
Rating:
Summary: Another country: the tourist perspective
Review: Not being "old-old" myself, with both parents dead, I picked up this book out of curiosity. Piper does not mince words. She says at the outset, "Old age is not for sissies," and she goes on to describe life as an old person in a country designed for the young. It's an apt metaphor: the old learn a new language and a new terrain. Pipher offers creative solutions that are not always easy, as she herself is the first to admit. Not everyone is equipped to be a caretaker. And as a society we do not have the infrastructure to deal with the challenges that increase daily.
Ironically, she notes that having a purpose in life will keep us young longer: the 85-year-old woman with an overaged dependent son may seem indulgent to outsiders, but she has a reason to get up every day. Yet at the same time, challenging work and respect from the community -- the source of purpose for most of us -- will be denied by a society that worships youth. Pipher seems to be selling us on the importance of caring for the elderly. It's a way our own children will learn respect for the family and for us, she says. Yet many of us will not have children of our own. Today something like one-third of households have only one member. Being single or childless is no longer "odd." And sometimes a parent disappears from a child's life, only to re-appear in a time of need. There's no basis for a relationship -- it's not about healing but about building a relationship with a stranger . Pipher does not address these topics, but the thousands of midlife adults who face aging parents will say she's offered more than enough to benefit her readers.
Rating:
Summary: Another country: the tourist perspective
Review: Not being "old-old" myself, with both parents dead, I picked up this book out of curiosity. Piper does not mince words. She says at the outset, "Old age is not for sissies," and she goes on to describe life as an old person in a country designed for the young. It's an apt metaphor: the old learn a new language and a new terrain. Pipher offers creative solutions that are not always easy, as she herself is the first to admit. Not everyone is equipped to be a caretaker. And as a society we do not have the infrastructure to deal with the challenges that increase daily.
Ironically, she notes that having a purpose in life will keep us young longer: the 85-year-old woman with an overaged dependent son may seem indulgent to outsiders, but she has a reason to get up every day. Yet at the same time, challenging work and respect from the community -- the source of purpose for most of us -- will be denied by a society that worships youth. Pipher seems to be selling us on the importance of caring for the elderly. It's a way our own children will learn respect for the family and for us, she says. Yet many of us will not have children of our own. Today something like one-third of households have only one member. Being single or childless is no longer "odd." And sometimes a parent disappears from a child's life, only to re-appear in a time of need. There's no basis for a relationship -- it's not about healing but about building a relationship with a stranger . Pipher does not address these topics, but the thousands of midlife adults who face aging parents will say she's offered more than enough to benefit her readers.
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Summary: How can I find a review of this book? Is there one?
Review: Sorry. I've tried to find a review of this book to no avail before I decide whether or not to buy it. Is there such a review available or not?
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Summary: Baby Boomers' Guide to Aging Parents
Review: They raised us on Dr. Spock. Not the pointy-eared Nimoyian character on Star Trek! Dr. Benjamin Spock, the Baby Doc! And Mary Pipher has done for the children what Spock did for our parents - answered perplexing questions like "Why do they do that?" and "What can I do?" Pipher's thesis is that "Knowing when people were born allows us to predict attitudes and behaviors. A person from a specific era will have a certain `collective consciousness.'" She explains that we dwell in "different cultural time zones." This explains, for instance, why Mom and Aunt Em save all those few tiny bites of leftover food that they then leave in the refridgerator to turn green - the hoarding tendencies wrought by the Great Depression and rationing on the Homefront during World War II. I am currently moving my parents to an Assisted Living Facility and this book is an important resource. I highly recommend it. Reviewed by TundraVision.
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Summary: Two Important Points
Review: This book came when I was at a crossroads about caring for my elderly mother. I could continue to let her manage her own affairs, or I could take a more active role. I looked for some advice about which direction I should take. Right after I finished the book, my mother entered into a period of medication related dementia. I needed to care for her at her home until the appropriate placement arragements could be made. Thoughout this crisis, two thoughts from Another Country kept ringing through my head. One was: This is my last chance to grow up. The other was: How do I want to remember the way I cared for my mother? This book, Another Country, had a powerful impact on my choices. The physical arrangements can be found anywhere. This is the only book I am aware of that addresses the emotional needs.
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Summary: a gem of common sense and uncommon wisdom
Review: This book made me change the way I relate to older people, including my father, and made me think a lot about my values, as all Mary Pipher's work does. She doesn't take us to meet rich, famous and extraordinary old people. By sticking to midwesterners of modesty and moxie, Pipher shows us the richness and value in ordinary life, if there is such a thing. I recommend it to baby boomers, and to their parents, as a way to begin our reconnection across the generations. Mary Pipher isn't just a fine writer, but a healer.
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