Rating: 
Summary: A Parent of Three Adolescents
Review: As a parent of three adolescents, I found this book to be very enlightening. I only wish I had read it before my children were adolescents so that I would have known what to expect.I feel that the importance of this book is the way Ms Hersch looks at all of the problems that the kids have, large or small, by focusing on their feelings. Adults so quickly forget how difficult it is to be an adolescent. They are trying to find their own identities while dealing with peer problems, problems in school, sex, drugs, alcohol, family dysfunction, etc. Ms Hersch has been criticized for making most of the parents look bad, but from my experience, those are exactly the kinds of parents most of my children's friends have. Too preoccupied with their own lives, and their own problems. As an adolescent myself during the 70's, I remember the motto at the time was,"I may as well do it, everybody else is." Of course referring to drug and alcohol abuse, having sex, etc. The problem that I have noticed is that my generation are now the parents, and now they use that excuse for the same behavior in their kids, "Oh well, everyone else's kid is doing it." Their exceptance of adolescent risky behavior only makes the behaviors become riskier. It shows how parents have become just plain lazy at parenting.
Ms Hersch's book does not answer all the questions about today's adolescents, but it does give parents who have the time to be interested, some important clues on what their child is going through, and what they need from their parents and other adults.
Rating: 
Summary: Teens and adults should read this book!!
Review: As a sophomore in high school, having lived and experienced both Fairfax county (Centreville High School) and Alexandria City (T.C. Williams High School) schools, I can relate to this book. It's very real, and very true. Kids and adults of any age should read this book. True, some issues are left hanging, but overall this will open your eyes and help you to better understand the period we call adolescence. It shows how even one of the best, richest counties in the world can have its flaws, one main one, I think, being censorship. A problem of overprotection, and naivety of adults, and teens as well. This is a wonderful book, and I thoroughly understood and (unfortunately) could relate to it. I've experienced both worlds, the "rich, white" school, and the "poor, black" school, both experiences that I will always remember and that contribute to my knowing and understanding of the world and on being a human.
Rating:
Summary: A Message Worth Repeating
Review: As a veteran educator of 25 years in regular, special, and alternative school settings, I have spent much time with adolescents, most of whom had learning and behavioral problems. During this time, I learned that the primary need of adolescents is to be heard. Ms. Hersch listened to these teens and gave them a voice. The message that she communicated to us may not be what we want to hear, but the message is clear: we adults need to listen to our kids. No, this is not a new message, but it is an important one that needs repeating. In these days, when both parents leave early and come home late, kids are not heard. In these days, when teachers are forced to teach the test and not the kids, kids are not heard. And in these days, when TV and computers take the place of in-person human interaction, kids are not heard. When they are not heard, they do not feel valued and they feel alone. And, many of these lonely kids use drugs and alcohol, carry weapons, join gangs, or create their own "tribe." During my journey as a secondary educator, it was the "loners" who frightened me much more than the aggressive bullies. I could effectively deal with the behaviors that I could see and hear; it was much more difficult to deal with silence and kids who wanted to be invisible, the ciphers in the snow. Being available to kids invites them to connect to family and community. It is important that we continuosuly invite adolescents to participate in our adult world because that's where their journey leads them, with or without our guidance.
Rating: 
Summary: Tribal Member Speaks Out
Review: As I compose this review, I find it difficult to know just where to start. I was one of the author's characters, I didn't know I was a character until a colleague of mine read the book and identified me. I went out and bought the book, and was horrified to find, that I was indeed, a character in her book. So, before you buy this book, or if you are reading this book, please know that the Author is someone, in my personal opinion, who has not been completely honest with you. I know every person she identifies in the book, and she does tell parts of their stories. There are things that parent's should be aware of, that perhaps they are not. They should know to talk to their kids about these issues, and perhaps this book is a good way to open those doors of communication. The problem with the stories, is that they aren't the whole stories, they identify issues, that are out there to shock you, but don't dive deep enough to get to the root of any one problem. I guess, in the end, nothing is solved. Most people know these things happen in every high school in America. Reston, South Lakes, is not special. These problems exist everywhere, and after nearly 400 pages, you won't know how to solve them, or why they are there. In a straight literature review, I also only give the book 1 star, because it is very poorly written. My heart accuses the author of using Jonathan/Caleb's suicide as the book's message. The book is Jonathan; nothing more. The 339 pages that embodies the bulk of the book, ostensibly to alert the reader of adolescent behavior is sandwiched between the prologue, eight pages, and the postscript, two pages. I feel that the author wrote the prologue after Caleb's death to give a novel-like flavor. To keep reminding the reader of Jonathan, he surfaces, at times, throughout the book, but in a minor way. We are reminded of his constant anguish and mental turmoil; his parent's apartness, divorce, wilderness, college... all unresolved. The prologue is written in a diary format, as if the author were with Jonathan, and it is unsettling to me. It sets the stage for the rest of the novel; it's not all that it seems. My suggestion for any would-be reader is to spend the eight hours it would take you to read this to talk to your children. Let them know you trust them, and that they can trust you. Be to them, what you wish your parent's had been to you. If you want to be alarmed, or feel you can't talk to your kids, read the Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development report. This book will do nothing but upset you, and continue to lead readers to believe that Reston is a terrible place to be, and My generation is a lost cause. Please don't believe that. There are at least 2000 of us there when she was, who strongly, passionately disagree. Her tribe has grown up, and we're OK.
Rating:
Summary: If you have an up-and-coming adolescent, READ THIS BOOK!!
Review: As soon as I heard about this book I ran out to get it, and devoured it in two days (world's record!). My daughter's only six, but often when I daydream about what she'll be when she grows up, I catch myself hoping in desperation that she makes it to adulthood in one piece at all--HIV-negative, pregnancy-free, drug-free, unmaimed by date rape, teenage car accidents, anorexia, bulemia, etc.Why should I simply resign myself to the fact that she has to go through any or all of these traumatic, life-altering, sometimes deadly forces because society has made us believe that's what all adolescents must face? Will I really turn my back on my own child and make her try to make sense of all these issues alone, because I'm too busy (especially as a single mom) trying to make a living? I distinctly remember as an adolescent tuning out--usually with disgust and oftentimes with glee--my own parents' attempts at advice and guidance. As a six-year-old, my daughter still worships the ground I walk on (kind of), but is there really a chance that I will ever be able get her as an adolescent to listen to or heed anything I say? The future loomed large indeed, and everything seemed like a lesson in futility until this book came along. Patricia Hersch is an author, journalist, and particularly a mother who truly cares about and is sensitive to the scope of feelings that rush kids at this fragile crossroads between childhood and adulthood. In her documentary she took the time to get to know her subjects not as stereotypes, but as individuals. When they trusted her enough, they opened up their hearts and minds to her. Why to this woman and not to their own parents? That, to me, is the key to understanding what this book can teach us about what's going on in the deepest recesses of our own kids, and how we can tap into this amazing resource without fear of alienation. Definitely a worthwile read for anyone with a soon-to-be or will-be-one-day adolescent. I hope to refer back to this book often throughout my daug! hter's development.
Rating:
Summary: A Very Important,Compelling Book.
Review: by Robert from Boston As the father of two former teenagers, I associated with some of our family's experiences. Our kids were lucky, mom was able to stay at home until the formative years were past. I found no sensationlism in this book, only straightforward reality. It was sobering. I purchased the book after seeing Mrs. Hersch on C-SPAN/Book TV. Personally I think her video presentation was as compelling if not more so, than the book. Even my wife, who rarely can sit long for C-SPAN sat there "connected" for over an hour. There has to be another book in her from the years she spent with these kids. Let us hope she shares it with us.
Rating: 
Summary: Misses the point
Review: Hersch's book begins by citing the Columbine and other school shootings as proof of her claim of an "insidious" trend toward teenagers becoming "a tribe apart" ruled by flawed "adolescent logic" and values. This claim is thoroughly questionable. First, by any measure, the vast majority of kids are good, most parents are good parents, and Hersch's blanket statements about all teenagers from the eight suburban Reston, Virginia, youths she selected to study is classic overgeneralization. Second, the school shootings of the last three years (by 11 kids out of the 25 million teenagers attending public schools, let's remember) were not the apex of rising slaughter; they were rare anomalies at a time (1998-99) when school violence and homicide by suburban youth stood at a 25-year LOW. Third, like so many grownups now deploring kids as lost and ill behaved, Hersch trains a critical microscope on teenagers but straps on blinders when it comes to her own generation. If some teens she studied sneak out of their house at night and experiment with alcohol, drugs, sex, and petty crime, how does that make them "a tribe apart" from how their Baby Boom parents acted as kids or how adults act today? In suburban Fairfax County, Virginia, where Hersch studied Reston's "tribal" teens, only one in eight people who die from drug or alcohol overdoses are under age 25; three-fourths are over age 30, just the tip of the middle-aged drug abuse problem. Virginia Uniform Crime Reports show that EVERY WEEK in Fairfax County in the 1990s, 50 grownups were arrested for violent crimes, 100 for property felonies, 200 for drunken and drug-related crimes, and 500 for all offenses -- one every 20 minutes! Half these adult offenses are by 30- and 40-agers, mostly white, the nation's fastest-growing crime population (what about all those gun massacres by middle-agers from Atlanta to Honolulu lately... do they prove midlifers are an amoral "tribe apart"?) and the parent generation of the kids Hersch studies. Occasionally she hints at this "adult" problem. Hersch reports a mother who tells her daughter (who tried to commit suicide because of her abusive father) that "I really don't like someone like you living in my house," another mother who tells her kids she hates them, other parents so self-absorbed with their own troubled marriages and belated identity crises that their children have to raise themselves. This problem goes beyond Hersch's claim that many adults today are merely too busy, "hands off," and trusting to rein in our little barbarians; this rising grownup disarray leaves many youths better off being socialized by peers than by adults. Her ultimate conclusion that those teens and adults who enjoy stable, healthy families are well-adjusted and doing well demands a tougher analysis not of the supposed "secret lives" of teens, but why so many suburban grownups are messed up. Hersch has sympathy for kids and rightly deplores today's paranoid climate toward young people, which makes it baffling that she authored a one-sided book that adds to paranoia. Donna Gaines' updated "Teenage Wasteland," unlike most of the avalanche of our-kids-are-terrible books, presents a more balanced picture of the suburban grownup crisis and the complex ways (some successful, some not) kids try to cope with it. Mike Males, Ph.D. Santa Cruz, CA Email mmales@earthlink.net
Rating: 
Summary: Worth a read but not earth-shattering
Review: Hold on to your hats because Patricia Hersch reveals that teenagers drink, use drugs, and have sex! I can't believe that people are surprised by this book. It's been a while since I was a teenager and except for new trends in fashion and music, it doesn't look like a lot has changed. Kids and teenagers are often confused, hurt, and angry at/by the world they live in. It's frustrating to be part of a society where you are feared (by some) and have no real voice. Although I find some of the book's sensationalism irritating, (Hersch spends the most time documenting the truly troubled kids and always parallels it with the kids who are doing o.k.) the book is still worth a read because she is fairly non-judgemental. Several reviews of this book (in the mainstream press, no less) act as if teenagers are out of control and partaking in new, distubing behaviors. Please. Parents who read this book should come away realizing that being part of your child's life is very important and that the values they instill when their kids are young will (hopefully) stay with them. I'd take the rest of Hersch's proselytizing with a grain of salt.
Rating:
Summary: A Must for parents--with perspective added
Review: I am from SL and am compelled to add in my two cents regarding the book and the experience. I graduated in 1996, and know the many of the people portrayed and events discussed. Those mentioned were a very narrow slice of the cultural topography in the school and would mostly fit into the middle ground, never any more "at risk" than most out there. There were plenty of others who never faced the types of dilemmas illustrated, and many like me, who wished that our teenage years had only been as calm as those portrayed in this book. Hersch, though attempting to be savvy, objective and probing, got many of her facts VERY wrong (I can't stress that one enough), and ended up coming across to me as equally naive as any of the other parents who she attacked, only armed with a tape recorder and a bit more access to the personal views of the kids. She foolishly believed that she was privy to was uncensored dialogue: HA! This book is best read by ignoring Hersch's personal agenda and instead using it as a portrayal of the general teen experience. I think that a parent can use this book to remind themselves of the true difference in motivation that most teens have as compared with his/her parents. Importantly, it is not that teens are irresponsible, it is only that their personal definition of responsibility starts with their motivations for decision making (which are NOT paying the mortgage and putting food on the table) Also, teenagers without support at home, whether they complain about it or not, create their own networks of support through friends. This often leads to solving problems independently of parents, and, with only limited experience available to them, sometimes very poorly. Again, motivation. This is an important consideration for parents when confronting the laundry list of evils that face our burgeoning adults.
Rating:
Summary: A Very Important Book in today's society
Review: I began reading this book 3 days before the tragedy in Littleton and finished it 3 days after. I think the book speaks to what happened in Littleton in a profound and poignant way. Eric Harris and Dylan are a terrifying example of "A Tribe Apart". In Mrs. Hersch's book teenagers have parents who are not involved in their lives, parents who don't notice, and often don't care, that their children are in pain, even suicidal. How did the parents in Littleton miss all the signs that their children were so troubled? The same way the parents in Reston Virginia did. This book makes us face some very sad truths. The book makes us see that something has happened to our current generation of parents who don't feel they need to be a part of their children's lives. They are letting teenagers raise themselves with, frequently, disastrous results. Is it all a legacy of the "me" decade of the 1960's? When did parents get permission from society to stop being involved in their children's lives? When did it become more important to become a law partner rather than teach our children values, morals, right and wrong? It is clear that these youngsters want relationships with adults, especially their parents, but the adults are just not available to them. This is an important book for everyone to read but especially parents and people who work with, and care about, kids.
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