Dennis Onslaught

Rating:
Summary: Shows Promise
Review: I think it is obvious that this is a debut novel by a new writer. I originally bought the book because the author is suppose to be local, but I couldn't help being disappointed by some of the "beginner" mistakes, such as -
*Too many cliches - very little originality
*Scenes don't flow - just when you are "into" the book, the scene shifts to another character in a jarring manner.
*Main character wasn't at all likeable - for instance, Dennis meets this lady in a bar, which is suppose to be "THE ONE". Their attraction is immediate and intense. He realizes that he thinks of her all the time. That would be great, except in the meantime, he is ogling every woman who walks by him. A newly-in-love man doesn't spend the amount of time gawking at other woman that this guy does. He comes across as shallow and slightly stupid.
Despite the need for polish, the writer shows promise. The plot was good, the descriptions of the characters were good. I would advise the author to get a better editor or attend some writing workshops.