Isle of Dogs

Rating:
Summary: Who Wrote This, & What Have You Done w/Patricia Cornwell??
Review: I have always been of the opinion that, if Patricia Cornwell published a phone book, it would be an instant best-seller. However, "Isle of Dogs" fared much worse than the proverbial phone book.

Ms. Cornwell is an artful writer of the crime novel genre; her attempts at comedy in this novel fall flat (where did she get the character names??? Windi Brees, Trish Thrash, Ima Clot - uggh!). I love Dr. Scarpetta's novels but the Judy Hammer series seems to not quite get off the ground with the thrust and power that the Scarpetta novels command.

Being a voracious reader, I can zip through Patrica Cornwell's books in 2 -3 three easy sittings. It took me nearly a month to plod through "Isle of Dogs". Maybe it's because I'm a Virginian (and a Richmonder to boot!)that I have come to expect more accurate portrayals of the Commonwealth's residents. But in this particular book, I think she overstated her rendition of what a Tangierian or an African-American resident of Virginia sounds like(yes, she tries to write in the vernacular and with an accent, which never came off quite right in print).

I was happy to finish, put it down and move on to "Blowfly", calling at me invitingly from my nightstand. I just hope that, in it, Ms. Cornwell recovered from whatever was ailing her when she wrote "Isle of Dogs".

Rating:
Summary: Just plain yucky
Review: Having read no Patricia Cornwell novels prior to reading this I didn't know what to expect. Well, I should say I was expecting quite a lot, since the woman does have a fine reputation as a writer. Man, I picked a dud. I know this was meant as rolicking comedy, but nothing I read made me chuckle or amused me in any way.

If I could've given 0 stars I certainly would have.

Rating:
Summary: Ugh! This was just painful.
Review: I've read 3 or 4 other titles by Patricia Cornwell and found them interesting and creative. This book, however, failed to fall in to either of those categories. The book is full of weak characters and a story line that really never takes you anywhere.

Rating:
Summary: Painful. A total waste of time!
Review: I've read all of Cornwell's books and I really got into them. "Blow Fly" is the exception. What a downer!

"Isle of Dogs" simply blows. I picked up the book a year ago and could only make it through a couple of chapters.

Being a fool for punishment, I went to the local library last week to find a book on tape and I decided to give "Isle of Dogs" another try. What a rotten book! I enjoy listening to books on tape in my truck on the way to and from work and I usually go through a book per week. I have had "Isle of Dogs" for over a week and I have not yet finished the second tape of ten. I listen for a while then I've got to try to catch the baseball game, a talk show, anything. This book SUCKS!

Why? Cornwell is trying to be funny but she's no Carl Hiaasen. It just doesn't work. If you want to read a really good, funny book get Hiaasen's "Lucky You." I was giggling like an idiot while I read it.

The reader on the tape version has an airhead voice and I grow weary of her attempts to speak like black house servants, dumb white guys, or residents of Tangier Island.

I'm tempted to try to finish it to see if it gets better, but judging from most of the reviews I would be wasting my time.

Rating:
Summary: Piling On
Review: I hate to pile on, but this book was so bad that it needs the maximum number of bad reviews. If an unknown author had submitted the manuscript to a reputable publisher it would not have been printed.

Trooper Truth was obnoxious.

The people of Tangier Island were dissed as were nearly every citizen of Virginia. Cornwell should be run out of the state.

If you like low high camp - buy the book. No. Save your money and waste your time and check it out of your local library.

Rating:
Summary: This book should be thrown to the Dogs
Review: This book is pure drivel - without question. It's so ridiculously bad I don't even know where to begin! It was all I could do just to get through it. If I could've given zero (0) stars I would have but I'll have to settle for one (1) if only for Ms. Cornwell's effort to put pen to paper. I'm absolutely mystified that any reputable editor would ever let this go to print. I can only assume it did because of Ms. Cornwell's previous successes. Frankly, I found the dialog to be absurd, the characters completely implausible and the plot wandering and lifeless. The story makes every person in the entire state of Virginia, with few exceptions, out to be a blundering dullard. Any attempt at comedy (if that was ever her intent) is so forced it's pathetic. With character names like Wendy Breeze, Hooter, Unique and a girl named Ragina (rhymes with vagina!!??) it's no wonder this book is bad. And, there is no suspense whatsoever. A third of the way into the book and you'll still be guessing what the story is all about. Please take my advice and don't waste your time. I wish I'd read these reviews before I started to read this book. I mean, a state governor who's nearly blind and can't see unless he uses a big magnifying glass??? And his wife and butler play silly games by hiding it from him? Should I state the obvious like why not just using glasses instead? And then to suggest the governor get a seeing eye HORSE??!! Yes, you read that right, a horse. I mean it's just plain idiotic. Inconsistencies abound. I thought the book had hit rock bottom when the crabs and trout started "talking" to one another and plotting their escape, and they could understand humans. But no, I was wrong. The worst was yet to come. Probably, the scene where the "Major" is trying to shoot his zipper off with a 9mm pistol in the back alley next to a bar named "Freckles" so he could take a pee, with a Blackhawk helicopter circling overhead took the cake. I could go on but I hope I've made my point clear. Take my advice, if you're not a HUGE Patricia Cornwell fan, leave it on the shelf. And even if you are I'd still leave it on the shelf.

Rating:
Summary: Do not buy this book.
Review: Do not buy this book. This book is awful, confusing, dull, and unbelievably idiotic. If you recieved it as a gift, I'm sure it was a regift, whoever originally received it palmed it off on you. I would certainly re-examine the relationship of anyone who gave me this book to see exactly what I had done to make them think so poorly of our friendship. Do not buy this book and think twice before you give it away. Perhaps it's best use is a nice winter fire, literally.

Rating:
Summary: I finished it by sheer force of will
Review: I thoroughly enjoy Patricia Cornwell. She makes it OK for a woman to be smart and sexy at the same time. But this....this was god-awful. I tried seeing it as a dark comedy, I tried to visualize everything as tongue-in-cheek. No dice. It seemed like every character (including the author, apparently) got a beating with the stupid stick. I read it through to the end, praying that it would get better, that one of the finest writers I read in years wouldn't do this to me, a loyal fan. She did. Don't waste your money on this book...if you're a die-hard collector and must have it, I'll send you mine - after I dig it out of the dustbin.

Rating:
Summary: Dangerous to Your Health
Review: Absolutely do not listen to this book while driving. While on Tape 4 at 7 a.m. in the morning I dozed off, but managed to spring back awake again to gain control of my car. I promptly turned on the radio. Then I just had to see if my perception was on target that this book is absolutely horrible, and sure enough, most other reviews out of 630 were one-star, and as at least one person said, would have been 0 stars. If I want mystery humor and pets with human-like qualities, I will stick with David Handler and his Stuart Hoag and Lulu series.

And the female narrator on the audio tape, though great with accents, was decidely very bad with male voices, of which there are many, like most of the main characters...part of the problem with putting me to sleep. I think this book would have faired better with a male voice.

It is comforting that Patricia Cornwell has apparently written better novels, so I won't totally write her off.

Rating:
Summary: I coudn't get through it
Review: I picked up the book on tape version of this to keep me awake on my commute, so it didn't need to be a literary masterpiece, but in spite of gritting my teeth and trying to tough it out, I couldn't finish it. I've never read anything else by this author, and I assure you I won't. Her characters are shallow and unsympathetic, animals (dogs, crabs) are smarter than people, and she manages to insult just about every kind of person you can imagine in this novel. Bad writing and offensive, hateful attitudes just made me angry rather than making my drive more pleasant.