The Old Limey

Rating:
Summary: Don't Believe the Hype!
Review: I very much wanted to read this book. A sympathetic portrayal of a traditional British officer is a worthy undertaking in these politically correct times, and American popular culture and the pretensions of pseudo-intellectuals badly need to be skewered. Unfortunately, while The Old Limey was described as accomplishing these things, it was very disappointing in its execution. It simply isn't very funny, and the author doesn't demonstrate that he is very perceptive or knowledgeable about American fads and popular culture for the time in which the book takes place. Contrary to what is stated elsewhere, Mr. Crocker does not come close to approaching the mastery of either Evelyn Waugh or P. G. Wodehouse. Waugh, in such profoundly serious works as Brideshead Revisited and the Sword of Honour trilogy, was still able to evoke howls of laughter because of his biting wit and understanding of human foibles. Lesser works by Waugh such as Vile Bodies also have a great deal of humor and "bite." Wodehouse wrote beautifully, and showed a clear-eyed understanding of human nature, but with much sympathy and rollicking humor. I'm sorry, but The Old Limey doesn't show such qualities.

Rating:
Summary: A slow beginning and a wacky, amusing end
Review: The advance hype of The Old Limey, by H.W. Crocker, III, billed the author as "a latter-day P.G. Wodehouse," which, as a devoted reader of Wodehouse and a participant in a Wodehouse usenet group, piqued my interest and had me stampeding for dibs on reviewing this book. But as I read the book, its style and tone reminded me less of Wodehouse than of Thomas Pynchon, legendary purveyor of hallucinogenic fiction filled with themes of global, geo-political conspiracy and Armageddon on the one hand and the minutia of the lives of its warped, twisted characters on the other hand. The Old Limey fits well into that genre of total lunacy mixed with a political message.

The story begins with Brigadier General Nigel Haversham's odyssey from the stuffy, dusty clubs of England to the barrios of Los Angeles to rescue and recover his goddaughter who has been kidnapped by her boyfriend's drug dealer cohorts. General Haversham (the eponymous Old Limey) has a rich fantasy life based upon embellished reminiscences of his years as an "old campaigner" in the various outposts of the British colonies. In certain respects, he does resemble a Wodehouse character in his slavish devotion to better times "when men were men," and the sun never set on the British Empire. Wodehouse himself preferred to place his stories in an unidentifiable era placed between the great World Wars, in which certain standards prevailed and nothing ever changed, even when he was writing for readers born generations later. General Haversham dwells mainly in the past and his actions are driven by old mores that seem curiously fresh and exotic to the thoroughly modern characters he encounters in Los Angeles -- his values and tactics are so old, they're new.

In his quest to rescue his goddaughter from her boyfriend's drug dealer associates, Los Lobos Colorados (or Los Locos Constipatos, as General Haversham refers to them), General Haversham enlists the help of a decidedly motley crew that includes two typical California ..., three Vietnam Veterans (code named Rebel Yell), a group of ... Jamaicans (code named Jamaican ...), and several menacing suit-and-horn-rimmed-glasses-wearing devotees of the Watts-based Islamic leader, the Esteemed Mr. Iced Kalifah (code named Black Jihad). His sales patter includes conning them into believing he is working on behalf of the British secret service. As he relives his glory days as a commander in Her Majesty's Armed Forces, General Haversham fantasizes about not only rescuing his goddaughter, but annexing the State of California for his country and turning it into an Islamic State in which he would be obliged, as its ruler, to take four wives, one of whom would be the Duchess of York, Fergie, as a favor to the Queen to take her off the royal family's hands and remove her from their hair. (General Haversham's gallantry knows no bounds.)

The surreal quality and downright silliness of author Crocker's narrative had me giggling at certain points towards the end of the story, particularly when General Haversham started comandeering his bizarre and disparate army of rescuers. Although the story moved slowly at the beginning, it picked up steam as General Haversham, disguised as a Don King look-alike in an effort to avoid a repeat of the mugging he had suffered the night before, prowls the bars and nightclubs in search of his goddaughter. The story's ending was a bit far-fetched and anticlimactic, but by then it didn't really seem to matter. If you have a taste for the outlandish and the downright farcical, you will enjoy this story. It also helps to be an Anglophile with some knowledge of the culture and customs, not to mention the history of the imperial reign of Great Britain.

Rating:
Summary: High-Speed Comedy, American Style!
Review: The Old Limey is easily the first great comic novel of the 21st century! It's a high-speed comedy, American-style. Which means that from the moment Nigel Haversham, a gung-ho retired British general, lands in Los Angels to rescue his goddaughter, Alexandra, who has followed her drug-dealing boyfriend Sean there, it's all go-go-go!

Finding Alexandra is the least of Haversham's problems. First, he has to contend with the problems of Penelope and April, a couple of Valley girls, who get hooked up with him in the quest. Then, there are the problems of dealing with the California cops, the Black Muslims, a Jamaican drug gang, a Mexican drug cartel and - Penelope's dad!

But Haversham is a man with a plan for every contingency. In fact, at the heart of this hilarious novel are Haversham's bumbling plans. But, so full is he of optimism that we are swept away with him to the end. It's an end with not one - but two! - startling surprises!

Loaded with insights into the workings of old-fashioned British and new-fangled America societies, The Old Limey is a light-hearted romp that will be enjoyed by readers on both side of the Pond. Mr Crocker's writing style is such that you're not so much reading words off a page as experiencing a delightful musical comedy in your head!

This is a book that will not dull with the passage of time.