Fatal Flowers : On Sin, Sex, and Suicide in the Deep South (Hill Street Classics)

Rating:
Summary: A Triumph To Honesty
Review: A Triumph To Honesty

Rosemary Daniell's memoir, Fatal Flowers, resonates with an honesty that strips away the stereotypical image foisted onto women, especially southern women, over centuries of male-dominated myth-making and so, image-making. A product of the deep south, born in 1936, I grew up always feeling alone and alienated. Later in life 1 figured out the reason I felt so 'outside the pale'. I rejected this simpering, asexual image of the southern belle. Reading a memoir such as this makes one realize that depression, and even suicide, are sometimes the result of trying to fit into this too-restrictive mold. A recent study showed that female students are on a par with male students (or even ahead of them, academically) until they reach puberty. I wonder how much of our spiritual, intellectual and creative growth is stifled along with our sexuality by trying vainly to fit into this stereotype?. This book, along with others, such as Erica Jong's Fear Of Flying, and Marilyn French's, Her Mother's Daughter, will pave the way for others to write openly and rebelliously about their own experiences of growing up in this oppressive, restrictive society. Perhaps books like this will eventually break the final taboos against southern female sexuality. A must read for anyone who wants an honest appraisal of our ever-emerging female psyche. I highly recommend this book; five stars rating.

Rating:
Summary: Writing Your Story to Save Your Life: Rosemary's Way
Review: I felt validation for every "bad" thought as a young girl. The feeling that I was the only person curious about sex has persisted into adulthood. There is a shared triumph of every old Southern mold I felt I broke and guilt for the many I have kept alive through my own daughter. I related to the women in this book, through divorce, and rebellion. It should be required reading for every young woman, and her mother. It could break down the barriers of resentment we feel towards our parents. We all just do the best we can with what we have, sometimes it comes out okay, and sometimes we find it hard to live with our mistakes.

Rating:
Summary: A Nightmare You Should Strive to Miss
Review: I was so disappointed with this book. I am a white woman who also grew up in Atlanta, and I don't identify with her experiences or feelings of horrible oppression at all. I found the book to be very tedious, filled with self-pity and lots of blame on others. The salacious title of the novel promises racy, exciting plot lines, but if that tempts you to buy this book, save your time and rent Sex and the City instead.

Rating:
Summary: Fatal Flowers Confronts Reality
Review: In Fatal Flowers, Rosemary Daniell confronts reality as she shares her own struggles with the bondage of Southern womanhood. She does so in a shockingly honest way. She takes her readers on a sexual tour of the South as she suffers through the pain of her own life and that of her mother. Her book made me more able to confront the truths of my own life.

Rating:
Summary: A Triumph To Honesty
Review: Rosemary Daniell's memoir, Fatal Flowers, resonantes with an honesty that strips away the stereotypical image foisted onto women, especially southern women, over centuries of male-dominated myth-making, and so, image-making. Born in 1936 and a product of the deep south, I grew up always feeling alone and alienated. Later in life I figured out the reason I felt so 'outside the pale'. I refected this simpering, asexual image of the southern belle. Reading a memoir such as this makes one realize that depression, and even suicide, are sometimes the result of trying to fit into this too-restrictive mold. A recent study showed that female students are on a par with male students (or even ahead of them, academically) until they reach puberty. I wonder how much of our spiritual, intellectual and creative growth is stifled along with our sexuality by trying vainly to fit into this stereotype? This book, along with others, such as Erica Jong's Fear Of Flying, and Marilyn French's Her Mother's Daughter, will pave the way for others to write openly and rebelliously about their own experiences of grwoing up in this oppressive, restrictive society. Perhaps books like this will eventually break the final taboos against southern female sexuality. A must read for anyone who wants an honest appraisal of our ever-emerging female psyche. I highly recommend this fook.

Rating:
Summary: Silences Released Result in Scorching Screams
Review: Upon reading Rosemary Daniell's book and witnessing her provide a reading at the Margaret Mitchell house in Atlanta, I can state that this is an exercise in female expression that warrants further study, review, and duplication.

Speaking to a receptive audience on a Tuesday evening, Ms. Daniell still found the confines of Southern gentility cloyingly apparent as she read two passages and edited her own work on the topic of sexual intercourse. Honest revelations can be written but they challenge too many ideals of masculinity and feminity when spoken aloud. As a member of the book reading group that selected and disected this work, I agree with our consensus on one point: personal revelations are acceptable but casting out other personal details of residents in small, southern towns takes an artistic license that reaches the brink of impropriety. A second point that we uncovered was her economic status in Atlanta while growing up. Perceptions of wealth, especially lack of wealth are a stigma I can empathize with but the fluctuating status is clouded by memory and does not come across poignantly when Daniell epitomizes her mother's legacy of the southern belle. Nonetheless, when read with a revealing eye on relationships, one can hardly construct a memoir separate from one's relationships, acquaintances, family, and friends. Coupled with Susan Forward's "Toxic Parents" one can get a clear idea of how Rosemary Daniell unravelled an abusive childhood and arrived at a healing that is essential to her personal survival. Too often women and men are restricted and Daniell's males often instruct her that she is "playing the game" all wrong. Hold back, suppress sexual excitement, verbal requests, and yes, complaints, like nagging, most of all. However, southern men respond well to the untouchable madonna figure constructed to be wives and mothers, but not lovers. Daniell pinpoints the legacy of the south: unresolved parental dreams are foisted onto the children and the pattern continues. She is honest about her parents' limitations and the harsh impact that had on her but most of all she is honest about her forgiveness of them and their failures as parents. Securing strength in her southern matriarchs provides a lineage more readers can derive security and understanding from in an age of disillusionment. Finally, the southern woman's quest for identity is the most salient feature of her memoir and the venue for the reading revealed an inner dilemma for generations. Shall I be like Scarlett or Melanie? Shall I attract a Rhett or an Ashley? May Rosemary Daniell's work help us understand that we no longer have to accept this dichotomy, but instead we can reconstruct our own identities without becoming raging anarchists that rail against the status quo but welcome the beauty of southern flowers. Revealing one petal at a time over the course of a lifetime onlookers appreciate the beauty and respect the poisonous aspects imbedded within for personal protection.