Rating: Summary: Excellent story of our times/culture Review: I think till now i have been seeing/hearing from my parents, family, friends about something age-old called culture; It sounded like a bunch of principles set for an age long past. To me in this book i think the author has tried to show how the present generation is struggling, managing with the difficulties these cultural practices put normal people into and how they are making the best out of it. I am really amazed by how close this book comes to touching the real life. Really awesome!
Rating: Summary: Stories written to fit a formula ... Review: The stories, all of them, have the same sad ending. The emotions expressed in the stories are very artificial and totally blown out of proportions. The analogies are, to put it mildly, silly. Seems like the author writes these analogies down and forces them into her writings. The writing lacks, among other things, grace. Over all she exhibits a very shallow understanding of human heart. Treat yourself to simple, beautiful and effortless writing of Jhumpa Lahari in her "Interpreter of Maladies" short stories collection. Or better yet, try "A Suitable Boy" in which Vikram Seth narrates the saga a mother goes through to find "A Suitable Boy (ie, husband)" for her daughter. The writing (of Vikram Seth) is humorous, intelligent and insightful.
Rating: Summary: don't call me a misogynist Review: Chitra Divakaruni's _Arranged Marriage_ is composed of crafty vignettes, many of which I have heard are true experiences disclosed to the author when she worked in a woman's shelter. The stories primarily depict Indian women as victims to dogmatic tradition or an oppressive patriarchy. Yet the women are strong, both mentally and physically, and are thus able to endure the vigors of their subservient lifestyles.Personally, I felt many of the men were depicted in a rather unjust light. Few of them have redeemable qualities. Some either physically or verbally abuse their wives, while others leave their wives and children to pursue extra-marital affairs. Still others insist on aborting their first-borns if they are female. Sadly, the best of the lot are "mama's boys." I'm sorry, but I cannot help but feel that a past marriage has left a bad taste in Divakaruni's mouth. In any case, I cannot say I pity women women who are beaten by their husbands. In America, there is relatively no stigma attached to divorce, and women are free to leave if they so choose to. There are no laws binding them to their husband, and they will undoubtedly in this country, receive custody. It is no fault but their own if they so choose to stay with cruel mates. I do, however, empathize with Asian women who are bound by tradition to stick with their husbands, or be ostracized. I'm not sure why, but I think this distinction is important to note.
Rating: Summary: Pain Review: Arranged Marriage by Divakaruni is painful. That is not to say that the book is "bad". On the contrary, Arranged Marriage is masterfully written -- interesting to the end, thought-provoking throughout, and extraordinarily well crafted. Rather, the stories themselves deal with, center around, and analyze issues that are painful: abuse, heartache, loss, abandonment. The Indian and Indian-American women in Divakaruni's stories must deal with such serious and life-changing problems that feelings of hopelessness often rise to the surface (not only with the characters but with the reader as well!). Frankly, reading this book in its entirety very quickly might be sensory overload. As a word of advice, read this book slowly -- maybe a story or two a day. Think about the stories before you move on and really try to separate out the kernels of hope embedded in each one (they do exist!). After a while, the stories are not simply "depressing and hopeless" but are instead poignant and hopeful.
Rating: Summary: Getting outside of one's self Review: I felt compelled to write a review and yet I wanted to read the other reviewers as well. The comments were interesting, and they have affected what I want to say. First: I am a white American who has had many relationships with men and women from many cultures -- romantic as well as friendship relationships. What fascinates me is how typically white reviewers do not glimpse some essence that reviewers within that culture frequently pick up. As if certain triggers are not touched for them but are for others I have spent time with Indians here and overseas in Asia, and I think that Divakaruni captures a fairly good portrait. Rather than complaining that it's the same story, I think of this as more like variations on a theme -- the theme of arranged marriage. And arranged marriage here does not just mean the formal event of an arranged marriage only -- it also implies the arrangements within the women's heads of what marriage should be. Even as an American in a world where I supposedly make my own independent choices I realize that as my friends and I have matured, our assumptions on what would be changed, and frequently those lessons were difficult. I think that much of what Divakaruni was writing about was this particular theme and the variations of how life is not fair; how life is not the western romance of hearts and flowers and marriage primarily for sexual and romantic feelings. Overall the book stands as a more solid picture when all the stories are taken together -- as a bouquet of roses is most beautiful in its whole -- though each individual rose may be very similar to the next.
Rating: Summary: A Book for Understanding Review: As an American woman who has struggled in relationships with Indian men, this book offers some peace of mind and understanding. The author's vivid descriptions of parents' ideals and their children's confusion upon landing in the U.S. makes it easier to understand the reasons behind our immense cultural differences. The book outlines the fact that our two cultures define "love" very, very differently. This was an excellent read that I could not put down for a moment.
Rating: Summary: A worthy investment Review: As a whole, this is an good book of interesting tales, though the endings of some of them leave you feeling like the story just dropped out from under you. One in particular, "A Perfect Life" touched me so much that I wept for hours after completing it. Truly a good read for a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Rating: Summary: Arranged Marriage? Review: I wonder about the title of this book . . . although some of the stories dealt with couples whose marriages had been arranged, in most of the stories, that did not seem to play a part at all. So the title was not really appopriate. What also is slightly irritating is that Devakaruni seems far more interested in preaching and getting on her soapbox than with actually developing her characters and story. I got the feeling of reading the same story over and over again, with only the names changed. She is concerned with issues, and not so much with individuals. Thus her characters seem dull and bland icons who are just there to prove whatever Devakaruni's point might be in that particular story. In quite a few of the stories, traditional Bangali attitudes and customs are criticised (by the way, why are all the foreign words in Hindi and not Bangali, I wonder?), in others (e.g., Doors), she shows the problems that can occur with inter-cultural marriages; although there is always the ubiquitous critiquing of the "traditional ways" (not entirely without casue) in the stories. Indians may well be able to realte to these stories in a way that will allow them to rethink the less agreeable aspects of their culture, and westerners may find interest in getting a glimpse at a world that most were never aware of. But this still does not excuse the fact that most of the protagonists in these stories seem to be rather pathetic, uninteresting people. None of them seems to have the slightest interest in anything other than what her man thinks of her or anything that would cause her to reach out and touch a world that expands beyond her own hearth. This makes the reader feel that she was really doing nothing more than exhorting for social change and not really doing any serious literature. Also, all of the stories had unhappy endings. Whereas this does often occur in reality, the introduction of a single intelligent woman with spirit, who is capable of finding a way around her problems, rather then seeing herself as the victim of them, would be refreshing. Having so many "sob stories" in one volume makes it seem like she is trying to elicit pity rather than understanding from her readers. Taken one at a time, they are not bad . . . taken one after the other, they can get nauseating. A pretty good book, but could use many improvements.
Rating: Summary: One of the best collection of stories I have read recently Review: Though I know of any number of arraged marriages in India where the couple married total strangers, and it is presumed to have worked out Ok for them as they have stayed married for a couple of decades, this book still captures the tyranny of an Indian (I mean the subcontinent that Columbus thought he found a route to in his voyages) arranged marriage and the culture shock sustained by many middle class Indian brides as they grapple with the struggles of being a fresh immigrant in strange and hostile working class neighbourhoods of US cities. I hope this book also gets as wide a readership as Chitra Banerjee's more acclaimed novel, Mistress of Spice. I was pleasantly surprised to be able to give a gift of a Danish translation of the ...Spice that I found in a railway station bookstall in Copenhagen. I also told my friend to look for Arranged Marriage in the Mecca of emancipated women that is Scandinavia.
Rating: Summary: An excellent, almost haunting book Review: This is one of the most treasured books in my library. I love the scope of emotions covered and the way her writing allows me to empathize with her characters. Plus, she covers a wide variety of situations -- American-educated women, women straight from India, etc. There's a lot of tragedy here but also a strand of hope running throughout the book as a whole. Not every story, mind!
|